The S.S. UESP

[AKB]

Those of you that frequent General Discussion may have noticed that the hot topic of conversation over the last few days has been the S.S. UESP!

For those who aren't familiar, it's our forum spaceship for planetary evacuation when the world ends.

Due to it's popularity, the S.S. UESP now has its own thread! So let's continue with our discussion!

(I'm in the process of copying most of the posts from GD that pertain to the subject so we have past data here

Edit: Left a load out cos there's too many, but last tab is up-to-date).

Current crew list for the S.S. UESP:

•AKB - Ship's Pilot, Captain, & Supreme Overlord
Mars - Chief Boss & Co-pilot
Alarra - Electronics Specialist
Beta - Onboard Specialist A.I.
Dohva - Chief Hydroponics Expert
•Mm - Chief Communications Officer
Aarah - Head of Scientific Research & LEADING OVERSEER Chief Engineer
Dark Spark - Onboard Warship A.I.
D.S's Cat - Head of Cryogenic Studies :3
Baloth - Chief Morale Officer
•Believe - Facilitator of Alcohol & Man of Action
Scribs - Chief of Security & apparently Chief Of Not Giving A [&@%!]
Leroy - Assistant Chief Engineer & Part-Time Chef
Cassandra - Ensign & Ship Fashion Designer
Kerr - Chief Geographer/Historian
Dirty Spaceman - Janitor (Red Shirt)
Union - Radio Technician(DJ)
Weasel - Acoustics Engineer
Nanza - Head of Biological Research
KingFeraligatr - Head Navigator
Meta - Crewman(Bilge Rat)
Fiar - Weapons Specialist (upgraded from Burning Marshmallow)
Wolfborn - Chief Tactical Officer(Ship Lurker)
Timster - Reserved spot

Independents
Dov - Dovah Empire(Madking)
Prophet - Draconian Empire(Space Wizard)

Miscellaneous
ShoggothNPC - Space Slime & Spa Expert

[Aarah]

DJ Broadcast Crew
Union - Host
Weasel - Co-Host

Scientific Society Members
BetaB17 - Medical Health
Nanza - Biological Research
Kerr - Geographer/Historian
Cat:3 - Cryogenic Studies
Aarah - Scientific Research

Artificial Constructs
Dark Spark - Military Grade (B) AI
BetaB17 - Intel Specialist Grade (A) A.I.

Hidden:

The UESPoints are merely a currency for when the world comes to an end. Those with the most points get a seat on the UESP spaceship, but everyone else...

Actually, I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Pretend you didn't read it.

When did Mars get (give herself) all those points? I've never noticed them before.

Mars has the most points, so gets to sit in the pilot's chair of the UESPF spaceship.

Murs did it in response to AKB's claim for all UESPointd.. to which he were in turn stealing from <_< Not like majority takes all works in these parts. All aboard the S.S.Believe!

Also, if Murs get's the pilot/captain's chair, then I'm calling for a mutiny. Clearly our supreme Overlord is more deserving..

I only have 3 points. That mean's I'll have to stay on earth until I join a crew of bounty hunters. Not coming for Kerr, oh la la.

Unless you let me on the ship anyway, despite my lack of points.

I'm pirating the [&@%!] out of that ship. A number can't determine my value.
And I'm definitely not saying that because my number is extremely low.

Kerr, you can jolly on up. We have a spare room for ya, said room being the supply closet. Good news is we were just about on the hunt for a janitor Aarah's doing a [&@%!] poor job at keeping thimgs tidy

Yeah, Mars is the pilot. So it is written! AKB is the co-pilot.
I'm the Chief Science Officer.
Alarra is Chief Programmer.
Beta is the Chief Medical Officer.
Dohva is the Chief Communications Officer.
Believe is the Chief Chef.
And Musicman is Chief Musician (for morale).

(Yep, we're all chiefs. Also, check out that perfect diagonal pattern with all the 'chief' above! Awesome. )

I think you'll get a spot, Kerr. If not, for a small sum of money, I'll leave the cargo bay doors open an extra few minutes for no particular reason... <_< >_>

@Beta Hey! I tidy up! I just begrudge picking up all your bits of cake that you drop everywhere! I've told you to use a plate, but noooooo

Hey, I know things about geography, that might be useful if you find a planet. Climatology, geology, the negative impacts of neoliberalism on urban governance from the 1980s to today.

Also, I need to clarify some stuff

First off, why is AKB co-anything? Madness! 2nd, Believe is most certainly our bartender and man of action where as Mm is a bard.. no need for fancy titles there <_<

Also bribes from Kerr, O how the mighty have fallen. I will chargr no fee 'Opens the valve to the septic tank' Jolly on up now, no need for fee

Lastly, I refuse to use plates! I eat cakes with meh hands and large bites! The only thing allowed to be graced by the touch of frosty bliss is me! 'Scoffs at Aarah's presumption of plates' Lunacy

You have a spaceship and I'm not on it? Was I kicked off for lack of cleanliness?

Hidden:

If we've all gotta get on this ship, we'll need security. So I got us covered there.

So seeing as Aarah has failed in the science of logic >_> it's up to me to do us one better

AKB - Chief Pilot & Captain
Mars - Co-Pilot & Quartermaster
Alarra - Chief of Electronics
Beta - Chief of Medical Health(Personal Assistant needed)
Dohva - Chief of Agriculture (i.e growin dem foodz)
Mm - Chief of Communications (i.e makin dem musics!)
Aarah - Chief of Human(?) Resources(no science 4 u!)
Believe - Bartender & Man of Action(Hell ya!)
Scribs - Chief of Security & not giving a [&@%!]
Kerr - Chief of Geological Particals Research(aka The Janitor)

'Applications are still pending'

Hey, why am I the quartermaster? If anything I should be in a position that lets me lecture the crew about things and have a smug sense of superiority. Chief Communications Officer? Chief of Logistics? That one annoying lady who hosts the "Teamwork and respectable interaction in the workplace" compulsory workshop? Or just go for the stereotype and be Head of the whatever-you-call-the-section-that-handles-the-data.

The original roles were better, eh Mars?

Human Resources? And why is there a question mark after the word human?

How about Chief Boss, Mars? That sounds pretty cool, even though not an actual job title.

@Beta. You saw what I said... *smug face*

Y'know, every once and a while I think that I'll post something on the GD. Then I come, look at what people have posted, and slowly back away. But not today, I tell you!

'Applications are still pending'

I think that I could fit the role of Ensign Crusher quite well. You know, that teenager who doesn't really do anything, but still gets to spend time with the higher-ups. Maybe try to do something useful every once and a while. Plus I could save you all if you're brainwashed by an alien video game.

Having a cool title that isn't actually a job totally sounds like my thing. I'm Chief Boss Mars, and you better do as I say because I'm the boss and the chief of being such.

Quatermaster means you hold say over all equipment and resources.. so excluding shopping expenses and the need for fuel, or repair for the ship >_> your level of power can fluxuate from alot to pretty damn much

In many regards.. a Quatermaster 'runs' the ship, the Captain runs the crew. An if that doesnt touch your smug superiority, know that a QM can even order a Captain when in regards of 'his' equipment.

Obviously, a QM does depend on others for estimates/needs on the budget or administration alone. But still.. who better would know what's best or needed for the s
hip than a pilot?

Also, the (?) is because not everybody on crew is human >_> nor are all 'flesh bags'. Plus, HR seems like a fair demotion. Nobody likes HR on a good day

@Aarah: Oh you lil devil...

Scribs - Chief of Security & not giving a [&@%!]

So that is totally going in my signature (I'll have to fix the name of course). I like how you perfectly encapsulated the role I really wanted as well. I figured the way people were being assigned roles, it was sort of following tropes. I figured the Chief of Security would either have to be a young, hot headed recruit who was way too into it and aggressive. Or, and this is more my speed, the old grizzled vet who glowers menacingly at everyone most of the time but will pull through when need be because he cares just enough to help.

Six Million Posts Later:

So here's the current crew list for the S.S. UESP:

AKB - Chief Pilot & Captain
Mars - Chief Boss & Co-pilot
Alarra - Chief of Electronics
Beta - Chief of Medical Health (Personal Assistant still needed)
Dohva - Chief of Hydroponics
Mm - Chief of Communications
Aarah - Chief Engineer
Believe - Facilitator of Alcohol & Man of Action
Scribs - Chief of Security
Leroy - Security Deputy & Part-Time Chef
Cassandra - Ensign
Kerr - Chief Geographer/Historian
Dirty Spaceman - Red shirt
Union - Ship DJ
Nanza - Head of Biological Research
Wolfborn - Chief Tactical Officer & Ship Lurker

Ha ha. I've just seen your occupation in your profile, Mars. I guess it's official now!

My big question >_> why are we now the USS Uesp?

And a bigger question, exactly what kind of ship is it?

@Cass:

:

looks fancy.

Answer me this Mars, are we a colony ship, military cruiser, exploratory vessel, research vessel? Or something less noble.. like a band of misfits or smugglers on a flying junker. Are there more like us? What is our purpose? And why is Kerr living out of the supply closet(lucky [&@%!])

'Eyes Mars suspiciously' Well?

It's an exploration ship, cos we're looking for a new planet to inhabit and seeing what else is out there. We have ample guns n' stuff too for if [&@%!] hits the fan and other spacefarers get all up in our grill.

I like Mars' ship name of 'UESP' though I think it's gotta be S.S. for 'space ship', cos USS is a classification for United States vessels and this is a global ship we're cruisin' on.

Aarah gets me

USS is a horrible prefix. At least SS is more neutral(& outdated), but it sounds nice.. and thats what Believe would of wanted. RV would of been acceptable.. had we been a small research crew

U.S.S.: Ultracool Spacetacular Starship. There, no problem.

U.E.S.P. - Undeniably Excellent Space Peruser.

So, Ultracool Spectacular Spaceship Undeniably Excellent Space Peruser. I love a hammy name.

That's what we have those guys for! They can take care of the medicalonutritious mumbo jumbo while we think of a good name! I didn't work my way up to Chief Boss to do boring stuff. Hey, is there a pool room on the ship? If there isn't we should install one ASAP, I've always wanted to shoot pool in space.

We'd better be bringing some tea on this ship. If we can't do this while we're in space, what's the point?

Hidden:

YouTube Link

Hidden:

You guys are still talking about the spaceship thing?

Well, yeah. We've gotta plan this thing. We can't just all show up when it's time to leave--it'd be chaos!

Probably will be anyway.

It's an exploration ship, cos we're looking for a new planet to inhabit and seeing what else is out there. We have ample guns n' stuff too for if [&@%!] hits the fan and other spacefarers get all up in our grill.

I like Mars' ship name of 'UESP' though I think it's gotta be S.S. for 'space ship', cos USS is a classification for United States vessels and this is a global ship we're cruisin' on.

Of course it's an exploration ship; our ESO guild is called the United Explorers of Scholarly Pursuits (UESP), after all.

@Aarah: Very well. Depending on our budget >_> I may need help selecting the new body. Operating from a strictly holographic form is not helping with saving lives.. may hint why a personal assistant is in such dire need. Seriously, have you tried doing a surgery without tangible arms.. and those surgical bots can only do so much. (Dammit Aarah, I'm a man of science, not a miracle worker!)

Still, anything beats being an organic life form. I cannot even comprehend how inferior yall must feel. A.I.s and Machine constructs rule, we even have our own club no flesh-bags allowed(except for Alarra, she's cool. Nanza too)

@Wolf: Chaos? I wonder how long till the ship turns to a bloodbath

I give it 5min tops

Speaking of which, we don't seem to have a Chief Navigator yet. We should probably find one of those, otherwise we might end up flying around in circles.

We got two pilots.. and it wouldn't be too hard for Alarra to model the ship A.I(not me tho, bc [&@%!] that) to also take care of navigation, monitoring of systems, and autopilot.. tho a 2nd pair of eyes/hands wont hurt

Okay fine, but I want a place on this thing if we're gonna keep talking about it. No use being a pirate when everyone else isn't.

But.. that cat is needed. It's not just some cat.. it's the perfect killer.. the missing piece to balance out the study of life and the skills of preserving it. It would be a perfect fit for weapon research.. or better yet, cryogenic science (It's the perfect crime) This aint no normal cat.. it's THE cat

Plus, if your so fearful of that outcome.. Nanza could make it a reality in a fraction of the time and a few strans of hair from your pillow

@VW: Whats your skill set, and how do you.look in red

Mostly various forms of art.
I can also survive in the woods for a really long time, so uh, there's that.
I can cook pretty well too.
Honestly, I can do a lot of things.

I'll just be your Chief Consultant of the Many Things. If you need my input, I'll be in my quarters with Unionhack listening to vaporwave, likely drinking and smoking, throwing Nepalese knives at a poster of Ronald Reagan.

Hell, if I'll give this cat a spot on the ship, we need that sort of straight to the point talk here

Goddamnit there is such a good chance for a corny TNG joke here...

Spoiler:

YouTube Link

Anyway yes we definitely need a cat on this ship. That being said I want a dog to accompany me on my daily rounds. I'll train him to sniff out drugs, bombs and other things.

We also need to find out how we divide up time on the holodeck. And someone is gonna have to start porting Elder Scrolls over to it which I assume is gonna be a PITA.

We could have a ship menagerie, if you like. I think there's room.
Having pets is supposed to be therapeutic, so they'll be good for ship morale.
Just make sure you watch your pets. We don't want their mess in the corridors, or the cat playing with the wiring.
If we are having pets, I'm bringing my pet crow, Midnight.

Our actual take-off song.

Spoiler:

YouTube Link

Can someone make a new thread for this? I've more questions and comments and it's starting to get hard to keep track of all this shennanigans (fun fact I never spell correct that word, I like to just see how often I can spell it right. At the moment I'm like 6/10.

You know what'll happen - everyone will stop talking about it, now that it's got its own thread...

[The SheoDovah]

Alas, the Dovah is not allowed on the S.S. UESP. Pray that he doesn't attack it out of nowhere and cause it to be destroyed.

Pray that he doesn't.

[Aarah]

You were invited onto the ship, but you said you had the 'Dovah Star' with Dovahstroyers, and threatened to attack us.

It's not to late to reform though.

[VirtualWeasel]

Nuh-uh. No vaporwave on my ship.

Oh, screw this, mutiny time.

I was trying not to be a pirate. I was trying. It seems my options are thinning.

[The SheoDovah]

That's because i was going to invite S.S UESP to be an honourary part of my fleet and when i rule the galaxy, it will be one of the few privilleged ships.

The rest will be slaves.

[Aarah]

We could have a ship menagerie, if you like. I think there's room..

I see this and all I can think of his a below par prom night on the command deck.. yeaaaaaah no (I'm all left feet and 0s)

Also no pets, yall have clones. Have fun and plenty of morale knowing that you'll be playing with yourself till the end of time.. you lil twit

Who's a twit? The clones? I'd prefer an animal pet - don't want a clone thanks, I think I'd annoy myself.

What's that about a prom? I'm completely lost...

[BetaB17]

Yall are twits

Also, a menagerie is some sort of musical fun time? Or at least I presume (too lazy to google it) But seriously, too many shows beng on the prom night trope, and blah blah blah I should stop talking

[Aarah]

Hey, we aren't twits! You lookin' for fisticuffs again? Just you wait till you're hard light...just u wait...

A menagerie is a place for a load of wild animals to be housed.
Ah, your prom night comment makes more sense with your assumed definition now. I was indeed wondering what kind of proms they had at your school where there was a collection of animals involved.

[Lord Timster]

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Cabaret =/= Menagerie

[BetaB17]

Psf, why would I want to be light? I want to be physical, to know what it feels to be free, to be many. You would never understand.. tho.. no, that would just be crazy <_<

(Also, for the record. Which prom nights don't house a ton of wild animals? No, just mine then. Fair enough)

[Aarah]

What if you didn't like it though? Once you become physical, you can't go back.

Btw, we need ideas for holodeck programs, folks. What places you want? What time periods? There's obviously the mandatory Bugsy Malone program and the Wild West program, but we need more options.

[BetaB17]

(You dastardly mind reader, you knew I was about to talk about the holodeck. Burn this witch)

It wouldn't be no different than operating multiple circuits and the ship's onboard hologram projector. I though you would be delighted with me to be far less inclined to appear anywhere on the ship without a moents notice or a mere noise.

But no, I would not be 'stuck' to a physical form. Who says I can't be in more than on place at once <_< not Einstein. Plus between me, the ship, and our budget, I very well could manage more than one 'body'. Still if dire destruction deems it, I may have to choose between hosts.. and I would much rather have the option to run than be bound to the ship's doom

[The SheoDovah]

On the Dovahstroyers and Dovahstar, we have holodecks as standard. All you can eat cake buffets every friday, no pants friday and many others. Oh and the Dovahstar can gas entire planets to death. I wanted to have a freaking laser beam but no, the fool that was in charge of weapons said it was easier to use gas when wiping out planets. So, i had him spaced. Somewhere, he is still floating, well, his corpse is.

[BetaB17]

(Burn this heretics, burn him!)

Edit: I think we found your guy

Hidden:

[The SheoDovah]

Did i mention that Dovahstroyers feature a lot of free cake? chocolate, strawberry, vanillia, banoffee, and many others! Where as the S.S.UESP has been trade blockaded. Yes, cakes are being rationed on UESP. What is available is hundreds of pot noodles, dog food and a soup with an eyeball in. Due to a colossal cock up by the bloke who was in charge of ordering supplies.

Not that it was me or anything.

[Aarah]

Stop burning people, you.
I don't know I like the thought of you having more than one host. One of you is enough, otherwise it's going to get like the replicators, and all the Beta's will be trying to commandeer the ship.

Edit: I think we found your guy

Hidden:

Oh, I thought I found him too. (I know what you're thinking... that planet looks a lot like a giant head.)

Hidden:

Hang on, it's a woman. Never mind, carry on.

[BetaB17]

Wait. Why isn't the gif working. Fixed

Hidden:

@Dov: Lies. We all know cake has 'officially' gone extinct since the Great Disaster. Those 'cakes' you claim to have <_< cheap plastic and flavor packets aint foolin nobody. The moment we come aboard, poof, it's a trap.

You should be ashame of yourself (Only I get to be the keeper of the cakes, so says the great Betty Crocker. Death to all heathens)

@Aarah: No :/ they would all be me, and I am them. What part of being an A.I don't you understand >_> silly human. And it's not like I want to claim this ship, just silly, AKB is more than enough. But to clarify, having more than one physical body would be more for convenience and expandability. Hehe, its not like I'm petitioning for an army of death drones (Dammit Aarah, I'm a Doctor!)

(Seriously tho.. you have no idea how it feels to be so bound and at the mercy of others... :< to know that your very voice can be silenced with a mere wire cut.. to know that your very image can vanish with a but a circuit blown. I am not a physical entity, and yet I must act like one to exist)

[Unionhack]

Nuh-uh. No vaporwave on my ship.

Oh, screw this, mutiny time.

I was trying not to be a pirate. I was trying. It seems my options are thinning.

Yeah, I'm afraid my service as a DJ and a lack of vaporwave on the ship are mutually exclusive.

We'll have our own ship! With blackjack, hookers, & vaporwave.

Edit: soooo why didn't we call it the U.E.S.S.P

[MARS]

Okay okay wait. What vaporwave. Blank Banshee is kind of tolerable. Mashups of Macintosh and Death Grips are pretty okay. Let's be specific.

[VirtualWeasel]

Mostly Blank Banshee and Esprit, maybe some Cybereality thrown in. I guess a little Macintosh too, though it's not really my thing.

[MARS]

How about a compromise. Two exclusive vaporwave nights a week, and potentially some ironic vaporwave remixes/mashups on other days along with everything else.

Just as a sidenote, if you do end up being pirates I'm assuming we're going to have trans-ship intercom-hacking DJ battles, and if you're not there I will be taking over the turntables. I know some really bad stuff.

[BetaB17]

@Union: Will fix name shortly and update the board

Also, if your gonna be pirates.. prepare to be blasted out of the (sky). No mercy fr vandals of the sorts. If you want to be scum of the (sea), do it down in our cargo bay under our name

[Unionhack]

As long as I get to pump some Macross 82-99 we're fine.

[VirtualWeasel]

How about a compromise. Two exclusive vaporwave nights a week, and potentially some ironic vaporwave remixes/mashups on other days along with everything else.

Just as a sidenote, if you do end up being pirates I'm assuming we're going to have trans-ship intercom-hacking DJ battles, and if you're not there I will be taking over the turntables. I know some really bad stuff.

Sounds good to me.