Arrogant Bandits. ;)

Daemos Avetorii · Post by **Daemos Avetorii** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 12:39 pm

Black Weasel here, back with more hilarity. So basically I was wondering how you all feel about bandits being arrogant and saying... stuff.. So I made a poll.

mamba12 · Post by **mamba12** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 1:41 pm

Gotta be archery. Bandits are so weak i love killing them by shooting them in places that wouldn't be kill shots. No BOOM HEADSHOT here, more like, TWANG FOOTSHOT

strobacaxi · Post by **strobacaxi** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:10 pm

I love to revive them and kill them again. Sometimes if they really give me attitude and I'm in a bad mood I use dead thrall and kill them over and over and over and over again until they learn their lessons. It's funny to hear them say "thank you" or "free at last" when I kill them and then do an evil laugh and say "not yet you fool"

Red Guardian · Post by **Red Guardian** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:15 pm

When I find an annoying individual I always, after their death, place their corpse into a shameful position or throw the body at a place that no one will be able to find. Sometimes I put their corpses into fireplaces or throw them in lakes/rivers.

If I have a powerful Necromancer spell then I use it on them, too. But that's not a popular option.

talk page · Post by **legoless** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:20 pm

Where's the pacifist option?

Yaije · Post by **Yaije** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:37 pm

Go beast mode and induct them into the SANA with their first trip to the Aether.

Daemos Avetorii · Post by **Daemos Avetorii** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:50 pm

legoless wrote:Where's the pacifist option?

Sorry. I was not aware that there were any pacifistic skyrim players.. I guess that option would be calm them and walk away?

FortySeven · Post by **FortySeven** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:20 pm

I don't bother to talk to them. I like to find them, sneak up and slice their throats. I never tire of that cut scene. I will re-visit know bandit areas that I have previously cleaned, just so I can trigger the cut scene.

Evil-i · Post by **Evil-i** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 6:31 pm

'Festus III: "I don't have time for this."

Bandit: "Don't you walk away from me!"

5 seconds later: 'Festus III walks away from Bandit's looted corpse

Derp53 · Post by **Derp53** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:43 pm

I love it when a bandit using iron weapons and fur armor will threaten me when i'm wearing dragonbone armor and hefting a ebony shield and sword

Theificka · Post by **Theificka** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:46 pm

They never really get the chance to taunt me ;)

Dark Spark · Post by **Dark Spark** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:47 pm

I just wanted to share their fire for a spell. Big meanies.

Dohva. · Post by **Dohva.** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 10:21 pm

I like to toy with bandits. A little bit of fear spell goes a long way, then you hunt them down like the lowly cowards they are. So much fun slicing them or burning them while they scream in agony.

Will Zurmacht · Post by **Will Zurmacht** » Sat Aug 18, 2012 12:29 am

Offer them amnesty, forty acres, and a mule, in return for a promise to take up a peaceful life of farming, while paying a larger-than-average crop tax of 15% for five years to pay their debt to society.

Show up in the middle of the night with hold troops a few months later, clap them in irons and cart them off to the Markarth silver mines.

Dark Spark · Post by **Dark Spark** » Sat Aug 18, 2012 12:35 am

Will Zurmacht wrote:Offer them amnesty, forty acres, and a mule, in return for a promise take up a peaceful life of farming, while paying a larger-than-average crop tax of 15% for five years to pay their debt to society.

Show up in the middle of the night with hold troops a few months later, clap them in irons and cart them off to the Markarth silver mines.

That only invites the possibilty that they'll spit nine from the LeMat before they bleed out from an half-dozen .30 caliber lung shots.
I finished Red Dead Redemption. I rock.

Stormborn · Post by **Stormborn** » Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:54 pm

Dark Spark wrote:I just wanted to share their fire for a spell. Big meanies.

Strange I like to let bandits share my fireball.

TomDD · Post by **TomDD** » Sat Aug 18, 2012 8:54 pm

Well, funnily enough this was how I became a brain surgeon...

The Drunken Elf · Post by **The Drunken Elf** » Sun Aug 19, 2012 2:24 am

I like the cast calm and fus ro dah, haha. However, the Killing them after you reanimating them sounds very tempting.

Daemos Avetorii · Post by **Daemos Avetorii** » Sun Aug 19, 2012 3:17 am

TomDD wrote:Well, funnily enough this was how I became a brain surgeon...

yeah I just created other medical professions to link skills

Axe/Battleaxe: Amputating Specialist
Sword/Greatsword: Invasive Surgery Specialist
Mace/Hammer: already said
Fire: Cremator
Shock: Heart Attack Specialist
Frost: Cryo-Stasis specialist
Archery: Implant Specialist
Dagger: Probing specialist
Unarmed: Chirophractor

PhanttoM · Post by **PhanttoM** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 8:08 pm

The Black Weasel wrote:
legoless wrote:Where's the pacifist option?

Sorry. I was not aware that there were any pacifistic skyrim players.. I guess that option would be calm them and walk away?

I like to either;
• Walk up to them so they turn hostile, then start walking away while my permanent atronachs (flame- & frost thrall) deals with them.
• Same as above, but replace the atronachs with two dremora lords.

Like the pacifist way, the fun part is to do all of it while walking calmly.

Dark Spark · Post by **Dark Spark** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:31 am

TomDD wrote:Well, funnily enough this was how I became a brain surgeon...

Dark Spark Fun Fact #1: Brain surgeons do most of their work on the spinal column.

Dark Spark Fun Fact #2: So do I...

Nova · Post by **Nova** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 2:02 pm

Well, bandits and Thalmor don't differ much in arrogancy so I deal with them anyway I want. My favourite: Burn them, finish them off with a smack to the skull (with a mace or warhammer), raise them, Stabby McStab, and right before they are dead, Fus Ro Dah them somewhere (preferably off a cliff).

Dark Spark · Post by **Dark Spark** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:06 pm

There's no "Boil 'em. Mash 'em. Stick 'em in a stew..." option in the poll.
Many a Bosmer is disappointed.

Derp53 · Post by **Derp53** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:52 pm

Dark Spark wrote:There's no "Boil 'em. Mash 'em. Stick 'em in a stew..." option in the poll.
Many a Bosmer is disappointed.

only if the bandit was bosmer themselves, at least according to the lore

Hissien · Post by **Hissien** » Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:53 pm

I turn their bones to ash.

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