Unintentional giggles

[Br3admax]

She has modded Elven armor. The whole set came from a mod.

[H8Ball]

What armour is that?

Er, it's a BASKET! Ideal if enemies are into *ahem* kicking your butt.

I'm using the Better Horses mod which has an option to make my horse retreat to a safe distance from a battle. But it occasionally ends up in some unusual places. Here's where it ended up while I was busy battling the Troll you can see at the top of the steps. Screenshot

What made me giggle was the way it was looking at me as if to say "I don't care if you put the Troll there to frighten me into coming down. I'm on strike until Bethesda get around to fixing me so you can ride me LIKE a horse, not like a bus with NO reverse gear!" What made me giggle even harder was that Homer's "Spider Pig" song from the Simpson's Movie immediately started running through my mind. So I invented some new lyrics... "Spider Horse. Spider Horse. Skyrim's version of a bus, of course. Up a mountain, off a cliff. Dodgy steering makes you end up a stiff. Watch out, for the Spider Horse."

[Mauin]

Armor doesn't generally try to murder you when you wear it. I'm assuming that basket was sentient and had a curious hatred for Vampires.

Anyway, I had a rather amusing coincidence earlier after I fast traveled to Dawnstar.
Everybody immediately ran inside, and since there were no Dragons around, I assumed it was the result of Arthmoor's When Vampires Attack mod. So I was running through Dawnstar until I eventually found the dead body of a Vampire's Thrall with a guard standing over him.

Nothing odd there, right?
I arrived at the entrance to Dawnstar just in time to witness a second Vampire's Thrall attack. He went after my Horse, so I killed him.
Now I was just wondering where the heck the Vampire was. Considering there is a spawn point just outside Dawnstar, I went over there... And found the already dead corpse of a Master Vampire laying beside none other than the Aspiring Mage. He was still focusing on reanimating the Wolf, so I decided to show him a thing or two about Conjuration and reanimated it for him.

He gave me the staff willingly enough, but apparently didn't like the fact that I reanimated his wolf for him. The man kept telling me to go away while the wolf was still animated.

I can't help but wonder what happened to the Vampire.

[Cowboy Ram]

I always got a chuckle out of Lydia, we would just come out of a cave and she would say "Oh look a cave".

[ConsoleWedding]

I entered the Bee and Barb for the first time again recently, and after Maramal finished his teetotaler speech he started doing the "waving arms while holding a tankard" drunk dance and kept it up the whole time he was telling me how to get married. Make up your mind, dude.

[Trelares]

On my paladin/crusader character I spoke to Serana after the Dawnguard Questline and persuaded her to get ride of vampirism. It is although quite funny that this option is rather pointless, everytime we go out she wears her hood, make comments about the sun and so on.

[Dohva.]

I entered the Bee and Barb for the first time again recently, and after Maramal finished his teetotaler speech he started doing the "waving arms while holding a tankard" drunk dance and kept it up the whole time he was telling me how to get married. Make up your mind, dude.

Why are all the priests of Mara big fakers? Erandur! *Ahem*

[Pilaf The Defiler]

Bought a carriage ride to Whiterun from my mansion. Went to climb in back and my Riekling was already up there.

[H8Ball]

For some strange reason, soon after I restored the Gildergreen Tree in Whiterun, a mad purple-robed woman turned up outside the city and apparently started training her dog...

"Sit. Sit! I said SIT, you flea-bitten mongrel!" Screenshot
"Stand. Stand! I said STAND, not shower me with fleas!" Screenshot

I can only imagine that IF she ever trains it to sit and stand, the next step will be to train it to "water" the tree on command.

[Evil-i]

For some strange reason, soon after I restored the Gildergreen Tree in Whiterun, a mad purple-robed woman turned up outside the city and apparently started training her dog...

Just like real life. The world is full of loopy women who own pets. In fact, the internet was created by crazy women for the sole purpose of posting pictures of cats.

[Mucro]

So I have a good night's sleep at the Winking Skeever, and I wake up to Corpulus in my room.

"Let me know if there's anything else you need."

[Pilaf The Defiler]

Corpus? The disease?

[Elenath]

I installed all the DLC yesterday for the first time, and ran into a rather amusing situation.

I had just wandered into Morthal, and someone came up to me and started talking about the current vampire problem and how I should join the Dawnguard, etc., etc. Halfway through, a pair of cultists came up and just stood there until I was finished talking to the first guy.

I had this mental image of a long queue forming, in which everybody waits patiently for the Dragonborn's attention. Until they reach the front, at which point they start shouting and attacking.

[PixiePayton]

The naked courier defiantly gets me every time. especially when I'm RPing a character and he approaches and I'm just like "uhhh....walk it off....." that and when you are trying to be all stealthy and you have a follower and they exclaim something really loud. like, why would you do that. Shut up. hahah.

[Dohva.]

Sylmirie, being the stuck up, rude Altmer that she is, has a soft spot for children and dogs. She and Onmund ran into a stray dog while out on their adventures, so she took him home to Lakeview Manor. The girls were complaining that they didn't have a dog, so she thought they would be happy to have one around. She releases the dog so he can hang out with the kids outside, then this happened:

Sofie: "Stupid dog."

Lucia: "Stupid dog."

Lydia walks over to him: "Stupid dog."

Rayya the housecarl walks by: "Stupid dog."

Really?! Why does everyone call the dogs stupid? Sylmirie went through all that trouble figuring out how to find another dog and now this? Anyway, the dog must have decided he had enough because he didn't stick around the property, he just went back to his old home. No one can blame him.

[Relik86]

*Carrying a dead vampire around Whiterun*

Mila Valentia: "Ugh! Dead Body!"
Belethor: "Be careful with that!"

[Evil-i]

Sylmirie, being the stuck up, rude Altmer that she is, has a soft spot for children and dogs. She and Onmund ran into a stray dog while out on their adventures, so she took him home to Lakeview Manor. The girls were complaining that they didn't have a dog, so she thought they would be happy to have one around. She releases the dog so he can hang out with the kids outside, then this happened:

Sofie: "Stupid dog."

Lucia: "Stupid dog."

Lydia walks over to him: "Stupid dog."

Rayya the housecarl walks by: "Stupid dog."

Really?! Why does everyone call the dogs stupid? Sylmirie went through all that trouble figuring out how to find another dog and now this? Anyway, the dog must have decided he had enough because he didn't stick around the property, he just went back to his old home. No one can blame him.

I always find it a bit sad and disturbing when I hear NPCs abusing their dogs like that. I've even heard Hunters call their canine hunting companions stupid. I don't know why Bethesda set things up this way. If they were trying to be funny, they certainly fell far short of the mark in this case. The only NPC I can think of who praises dogs is that kid in Riverwood who hangs around with Stump. But then again, this is the same kid who wants to disguise Stump as a Frostbite spider, possibly leading to the dog being killed by frightened townsfolk. Something tells me that pet owners at Bethesda are in the minority.

[Dohva.]

Its one of the few things about Skyrim that disturbs me. Which is why Meeko is rarely left at home unless Onmund is there.

[Mod-Loving Wood Elf]

I usually giggle (or sigh) a bit whenever a character I'm listening to is trying to convey really serious emotions, like seething rage or weeping sorrow. Because no matter what, they still keep their plain old, unbothered, potato-faces.

[fasteddie2121]

Getting killed by a baddie who then chastises me for not picking up my trash since dying causes me to drop my stuff. Extra funny points added if its an orc doing the scolding.

Hunters talking smack when they are chasing down mudcrabs or rabbits.

[H8Ball]

I save then, just for fun, change to Werewolf in FULL VIEW of everyone in Whiterun, claw half the population to shreds, make a run for the gate and into the hills, wait to change back, then return to Whiterun after about 2 minutes absence. What do I find? The OTHER half of the population stopping beside corpses and exclaiming "Oh, what happened here?" What happened? I HAPPENED! Didn't you ALL see me let my belly button fluff escape not TWO MINUTES AGO? And does ANYONE recognise the murderer wearing the, er, EXACT same clothing and face? Nope. You've ALL got the short term memory of a goldfish. Halfway around the bowl, life is a new experience again.

Now that I'm Level 56 with Archery=100 and ALL Archery perks, I can Sneak up on a sleeping Dragon and one-shot kill it with my Daedric Bow (Exquisite) and Ebony Arrows for 3x damage while Hidden. This often results in the "already dead" Dragon taking off, circling around for an approach, then crash landing, sliding to a halt THEN finally going through it's death animation. Must be an "autopilot" malfunction.

It's always a giggle to watch the AI obviously "trying" to rub TWO brain cells together to get a spark when it only has ONE brain cell (or less) to work with.

[Dohva.]

So my elf upgraded her conjuration robes by purchasing a brand new set from Phinis. She sold him her old robes and was then naked. So he said: "At least put on a loin cloth. You're making me unseasonably warm."

Ha! Oh, goodness. Keep dreaming Phinis, she's too damn good for you.

[ConsoleWedding]

I howled with laughter when I sprinted into Enthir at the College of Winterhold just to annoy him and then watched him walk backwards out of his room and disappear around the corner. I don't know if I'm allowed to post gifs here, but it was a very "Homer Simpson oozing into the bushes" moment.

[H8Ball]

Sprinting at an NPC and bumping into them causes them to stagger. On recovering from the stagger, they handily REPEAT their last AI instruction. So a sprint-bump effectively makes the AI "remember" HOW to walk or use a door. This is a handy trick for solving the problem of NPC's standing around like village idiots who've had a major brain fart, and blocking progression of a quest to its next stage because the NPC hasn't arrived at their destination. I'm convinced that a major cause of a lot of random quest bugs is the AI randomly forgetting how to do simple things.

One of the ways this makes me giggle is when sprint-bumping an NPC to remind them HOW to use a door. Most often, they'll stagger, recover, walk around a bit then RE-approach the door and use it. But sometimes they'll disappear through the door head-first in mid-stagger instead. I find this hilarious when they also say "Hey, watch it!" but it's cut off mid-sentence, so sounds like "Hey, wha..." and I imagine they continue the sentence unheard on the other side of the door as they fall flat on their face, and the whole slapstick comedy sequence goes like this...

<bump>
"Hey, wha..."
<disappears head-first through door in mid-stagger, appears on other side, starts to fall over>
"...t a neat trick."
<thuds into floor face-first>
"OW! All hail Dovahkiin for bashing me to get my stupid brain working!"

[Pilaf The Defiler]

I save then, just for fun, change to Werewolf in FULL VIEW of everyone in Whiterun, claw half the population to shreds, make a run for the gate and into the hills, wait to change back, then return to Whiterun after about 2 minutes absence. What do I find? The OTHER half of the population stopping beside corpses and exclaiming "Oh, what happened here?" What happened? I HAPPENED! Didn't you ALL see me let my belly button fluff escape not TWO MINUTES AGO? And does ANYONE recognise the murderer wearing the, er, EXACT same clothing and face? Nope. You've ALL got the short term memory of a goldfish. Halfway around the bowl, life is a new experience again.

Now that I'm Level 56 with Archery=100 and ALL Archery perks, I can Sneak up on a sleeping Dragon and one-shot kill it with my Daedric Bow (Exquisite) and Ebony Arrows for 3x damage while Hidden. This often results in the "already dead" Dragon taking off, circling around for an approach, then crash landing, sliding to a halt THEN finally going through it's death animation. Must be an "autopilot" malfunction.

It's always a giggle to watch the AI obviously "trying" to rub TWO brain cells together to get a spark when it only has ONE brain cell (or less) to work with.

That happens a lot with Dragons when you're at a high enough level to drain their HP quickly. Apparently the devs didn't anticipate anyone overpowering them like that, so the coding they wrote for them doesn't account for the situation and spazzes.