Unintentional giggles

[mamba12]

Exploring a nordic ruin the other day and got ahead of Serana somehow. Slaughtered a bunch of Draugr in one of the throne rooms. When she caught up, she gave that "Oh wow, this is gorgeous. I'm glad you're here with me" line.

I KILLED ALL THESE THINGS FOR YOU SERANA! FOR YOU!

[H8Ball]

Yeah. I've had that too. Folks in Skyrim aren't much into thanking you for saving their lives time and time again, are they? More often than not, they just stand around, walk away or resume their business as if you're not there. Makes me wonder why I bother. Oh well, I can always fall back on the old "Customer Service" way of thinking... 'I'll give MYSELF the warm glow by feeling happy to have helped you anyway. If you can't thank me and make it a warmER glow, at least I'm WARMer than you.' Always see the positive side. That's the key.

[Dohva.]

Customer service, eh? I suppose that is one way to look at it.

Hilarious: last night, Felina took Onmund to Alftand to get the ES. While fighting a Dwarven Centurion, Onmund taunts it "You're not quite good enough, are you?" The Centurion strikes Onmund hard and he then yells "Mercy! No more I yield!"

Hmmm....you were just big and tough a moment ago. It was rather comical. Of course, Felina had to finish off the Centurion and then when she healed Onmund he says it wasn't necessary. Whatever man.

[CreeperX]

Yeah. I've had that too. Folks in Skyrim aren't much into thanking you for saving their lives time and time again, are they? [...]

Indeed. Yakov saved his College buddies from a dragon for the... I don't even know how many times but MANY, and the last time J'zargo decided to thank him by saying "Khajiit wishes you to go away. You have done us too much harm." I wanted to punch him. They still freaking blame Yakov for Brelyna's death although it wasn't even a friendly fire incident. She got herself killed by falmer.

Anyways... Yesterday my other character got blown up by an enemy mage who then calmly looks down at my burning body and asks: "Need something?"
The other day got FUS-RO-DA'ed by a Deathlord and then one-shotted by an arrow before even getting on my feet. Got two rag doll effects in a row.
Dying is sometimes so fun at this game.

[H8Ball]

Talsgar the Wanderer (a Bard): "Ah, smell that fresh air. Truly, this is a good place to play a song."

His standard greeting, delivered just inside the Solitude city gate after I helped Ulfric Stormcloak (yes, I joined the Stormcloaks) to win the final battle for Solitude.

I just burst out laughing. "FRESH air, you say? Half the city's on fire and the air's SO thick with black smoke I can barely see 20 yards. What planet are YOU from, mate?"

[Alarra]

Serana's necromancy has had me giggling - if something dies, she resurrects it. Usually it makes sense, like a fallen bandit or bear or something we can use on our side in a fight, but when she resurrects a chicken, I have to wonder what she expects to do with that. And then there's a quest in Falkreath where you have to locate a missing hunting party, and it turns out that all but one are dead. He wants revenge on the Spriggans that have killed his two friends, and so you go inside to help... and that's where Serana promptly, tactlessly reanimates one of his dead friends. It was so wrong and hilarious.

[Evil-i]

It seems the NPC body models are hollow, and the area where the legs come together at the crotch is a, ummm....hole. I once placed a naked dead Orc Bandit on top of Alvor's forge, and the Orc came down in that kneeling spread-legged posture. Apparently, the light emitted by the glowing forge entered the body at that messy crotch hole, and the Orc's open eyes and mouth wound up glowing from within. With his Orcish jagged teeth, he wound up looking like a jack-o-lantern.

[Airos]

So, Delvin Mallory had an interesting job for me...

(minor Dragonborn DLC spoilers)

Spoiler:

While I know that it's just randomly generated, I can't help but wonder if this is some sort of test. "Think you're a good enough thief to steal from an ex-guild member?"

[Pilaf The Defiler]

LOL brotherly love.

[Airos]

Started a new character a couple days ago. Just got around to doing Dragon Rising. After I did the optional "use your shout", I went back to Whiterun to talk to the Jarl. Waiting for me at the town gate was the courier, with a letter from "a friend". Apparently I made quite a stir at the Western Watchtower when I used my shout.

[Dohva.]

I've grown rather fond of resurrecting vampire bodies, they say the funniest things. While in Dimhollow Crypt, my assassin looted everything off a vampire she killed then resurrected her. So she had a naked zombified vampire following her around saying the craziest things about how her last kill tasted so good, or how all she could think about was blood. But just the way these vampires talk is funny enough, especially when they go into battle.

For all you necromancers out there, try it. Its so nutty.

[BunBun299]

I find vampires have a habit of kidnapping my wife, who happens to be one of the best warriors in the game, Mjoll the Lioness. Infact, the first time they did this, she was right in the middle of Fort Dawnguard, which as anyone around here knows is packed with vampire hunters, in broad daylight, while she was packing a Dragonbone Battleaxe and Daedric Armor. And I had only just turned my back to speak to Florenteus for him to give me the bad news. Batman would be impressed by the level of stealth these vampires pulled off.

Its happened several times since. Sometimes while she's at home minding the kids, sometimes while she's with me. It happened again today. I've been abusing a bit of game mechanics I learned of Youtube to remove her default Banded Iron Armor. In addition to making her wear other outfits, I find it also lightens her load a bit, so she can haul more gear like she boasts. When I dismissed her last, she hadn't respawned her armor yet, so was walking around the house in her medieval skivvies. It still hadn't respawned by the time the vampires kidnapped her today. So when I rescued her from a Reaver stronghold on Solstheim, she was still in her underwear.

[Hawthorn]

Talsgar the Wanderer (a Bard): "Ah, smell that fresh air. Truly, this is a good place to play a song."

His standard greeting, delivered just inside the Solitude city gate after I helped Ulfric Stormcloak (yes, I joined the Stormcloaks) to win the final battle for Solitude.

I just burst out laughing. "FRESH air, you say? Half the city's on fire and the air's SO thick with black smoke I can barely see 20 yards. What planet are YOU from, mate?"

That man is a TRUE NORD.

I got a friendly public service announcement from the Fugitive whilst wandering in the Pale. I heard wolves howling nearby so I raised my hands (armed with fire spells), only to be surprised by this fellow creeping up behind me to say, "Careful with that fire, you'll burn the whole place down!" then promptly creep away again. Nothing about a weapon, and I'm pretty sure he said "Have a nice day" as he left. Remember kids, only YOU can prevent tundra fires!

[Evil-i]

Remember kids, only YOU can prevent tundra fires!

What we need now is a mod that puts ranger-style Stetsons on bears.

[Hawthorn]

Remember kids, only YOU can prevent tundra fires!

What we need now is a mod that puts ranger-style Stetsons on bears.

Speaking of bears, there was a snow bear that spawned on the road just outside Winterhold in my latest game. I watched an Imperial Legion patrol approaching and thought that this could be interesting. The bear took them all out in less than 30 seconds, Stormcloak prisoner and all. They all went down like bowling pins. And then that wandering Dunmer who is looking to join the Legion showed up. Oops! Somebody should really take care of that bear...

[H8Ball]

I take screenshots of my "giggle moments". Did I mention I once spotted the cast of "All Creatures Great and Small" in Skyrim? That's right, the old TV drama/comedy series about vets.

Want the proof? Here it is... Screenshot

Left: James Herriot (the vet) saying "Yes! I can feel the head! Pass the birthing gel, Tristan!"
Right: Tristan Farnon (the assistant) rummaging in the vet's bag and saying "Oh no! I forgot to pack it again!"
Middle: Siegfried Farnon (the boss) saying "Er, James. I just noticed it has large antlers. That means it's MALE!"

[BunBun299]

I was tasked with hunting down a Traveling Pilgrim by the Dawnguard. Found him in Riften. As I suck at stealth with this character, I ducked into my home to order Vilkas to wait while I transformed into a werewolf to kill the monster. Well, no sooner do I order Vilkas to wait then I notice the subtitles are currently being spoken by the Traveling Pilgrim. The undead fiend had walked into Honeyside and was using my cooking pot like he owned the place. I knew Iona wouldn't care what happened, so I used my beast form. Ducked down stares to change, just to make sure the vampire didn't call the guards on me or anything. Vilkas and Iona had him dead before I could swing a claw at him.

Gotta love it when the targets are that cooperative.

[H8Ball]

Talking about Vilkas, I suffered a slight glitch with collision detection in Dustman's Cairn, during the quest Proving Honor. It didn't do any harm, just resulted in me repeatedly having to tell his brother Farkas, "Yes, I KNOW it makes an ideal giant groin protector. Perfect for preventing the Draugr kicking you in the love apples, and all that. But you've insisted on shuffling around wearing it for the past 10 minutes and it just makes you look silly." Screenshot

Oddly enough, soon after I took the screenshot and was about ready to start cursing the air blue with frustration, thinking he'd be wearing this "fashion accessory" for the rest of the game, he casually discarded it. Just goes to show that fads never last long.

[Hrolf Alfblod]

Was at Whitewatch Tower and a dragon appeared. Fought it with the guards stationed there. One of them delivers the killing blow, turns to me and asks, "What is it... dragons?"

[BunBun299]

Ok, I've been sent to hunt down some stupid vampires recently. One who wandered into my home of his own free will. 2 seperate ones who picked a fight with the Daedric Prince Sanguine. And now one decided to set up shop in a Silver Hand fortress. And they hate vampires as much as they hate Werewolves. I entered the place, and before I could get around the corner to engage the first pair of Silver Hand, I got the message that the vampire had been killed. Got through the place and found that Krev the Skinner and his goons had indeed cut him down. These guys really need to pick better places to hide, or I'll have to stop even pretending they're a threat.

[Pilaf The Defiler]

I'm trying to get my main Nord up to the level cap, so I've enchanted sets of robes, hoods and gloves to boost specific skills and magicka regeneration so I can casually walk through towns and cast spells to level up my magicka skills.

Anyway, I'm strolling through Whiterun towards the Alchemist's shop so I can mix some potions and buy some magicka refilling ones to make this process faster. I had my "hands up" to cast the Muffle spell as I entered the shop. Suddenly, my follower Ralis bursts through the back door of the shop, Ebony sword and shield out in a fighting stance. My Riekling followed wielding a Daedric longsword. I burst out laughing.

[Mauin]

Talking about Vilkas, I suffered a slight glitch with collision detection in Dustman's Cairn, during the quest Proving Honor. It didn't do any harm, just resulted in me repeatedly having to tell his brother Farkas, "Yes, I KNOW it makes an ideal giant groin protector. Perfect for preventing the Draugr kicking you in the love apples, and all that. But you've insisted on shuffling around wearing it for the past 10 minutes and it just makes you look silly." Screenshot

Oddly enough, soon after I took the screenshot and was about ready to start cursing the air blue with frustration, thinking he'd be wearing this "fashion accessory" for the rest of the game, he casually discarded it. Just goes to show that fads never last long.

Reminds me of the time I got a basket stuck to my character's back end.
The whole stealth thing tends to fail miserably when you've got a murderous basket stuck to your butt...
Every time I tried to move, the basket bashed up against me and wound up taking off a considerable amount of health. For a basket.
So Vulom was leaving trails of blood all over that house. I managed to get it off after some hopping around, but it certainly looked mighty silly while it was stuck to her.

[CBR JGWRR]

What armour is that?

[Pilaf The Defiler]

Looks like plain old Elven to me. The gauntlets might be Thalmor gloves.

[CBR JGWRR]

Looks like plain old Elven to me. The gauntlets might be Thalmor gloves.

Too dark in colour to be elven, but it's definitely similar...