Unintentional giggles

[Mattbott]

"you'll be easier to loot when you're dead" as he flees

and for pure evil joy,

chain lightning stormcloaks in the big civil war battles, four or five at a time blasted in all directions. They couldn't spawn quickly enough

oh, and talking to the companion after a fight and we both have ice spikes and arrows sticking out of us at awkward angles

[Dohva.]

In doing a trial run of how my assassin's family would like living at Breezehome, the complaints from the kids about the other kids in town being mean was hilarious. But the best line came from Alesan who said: "Lars is such a milkdrinker. He can't even stand up to a girl!" That [&@%!] had me laughing so hard! That's my kid, the big tough one.

So yea, ok kids, Whiterun isn't going to work after all.

[p-sto]

I wonder if they programmed the kids to complain if you move too much.

[Evil-i]

When married Murcurio exlaims "...I call them treasures"

Just tooo happy!

On that note, I just love when Belethor talks about buying your family members, if they were for sale. His enthusiasm just cracks me up!

I love that line from Belethor, especially when he checks himself, trails off and feels obligated to explain "...that's...that's a little joke...um yeah...so..." It has to be one of the best-delivered lines in the game. There's a feeling of personality behind it, rather than mere script reading.

On a related note, I also enjoy the Whiterun guards' advice to check out Belethor's store. "Sleazy little man, but he has good stock." I can't explain why, but it always makes me smile.

People have mentioned mudcrabs. For some reason, they have a "sneak detection" range which rivals that of giants and mammoths. I can't tell you how many times I've cowered in the bushes, scanning the landscape for whatever has detected me, only to find it's been some lowly mudcrab, sifting dirt 200 yards away.

[H8Ball]

One of the recent Skyrim patches (post v1.5), or the Unofficial Skyrim Patch (currently v1.2.4), has finally fixed Barbas the dog's screwy following behaviour. He's no longer obsessed with trying to push me off a cliff by sticking his wet nose up my bottom.

I found out recently that Grabbing and carrying an owned item away DOESN'T count as stealing it, no matter HOW far away you carry it. It only counts as Stealing if you TAKE it, i.e. put it IN your Inventory, and are SEEN taking it. So I did a bit of experimenting with Grabbing a piece of meat from the meat vendor's stall in Whiterun, carrying it behind the Alchemist's shop where I was out of line of sight of everyone, dropping it THEN taking it, and ALL without bothering to Sneak. It worked! No one even reacted! So the meat vendor is now running a totally empty stall, and STILL extolling the virtues of his "invisible" wares. The biggest laugh was when I Grabbed a piece of Beef and, as I carried it away without paying, he said, "Have you tried the Venison? It's delicious!" I said to myself, "Ooh! Have you got any on display? I'll TAKE it!"

[ZackyZombify]

Finding horses standing idly by over dead corpses like they're waiting for them to revive. And did the pc always pet his horse when you let the game idle? I just noticed it now for the first time

[H8Ball]

Your horse will often behave like a "pointer dog", trotting up to a corpse and standing over it in case you can't see the corpse for the grass. The funniest example of this for me was killing a Bear, then watching my horse trot up, stand for a moment, then put it's head down and start calmly "grazing" in the Bear's butt crack! Certainly cracked ME up, I can tell you!

[Alnevar Odai]

Your horse will often behave like a "pointer dog", trotting up to a corpse and standing over it in case you can't see the corpse for the grass. The funniest example of this for me was killing a Bear, then watching my horse trot up, stand for a moment, then put it's head down and start calmly "grazing" in the Bear's butt crack! Certainly cracked ME up, I can tell you!

I think its awesome when it kills someone and continues "punching" it when its on the ground. ROFLMFAO

[Imperfect Three]

Finding horses standing idly by over dead corpses like they're waiting for them to revive. And did the pc always pet his horse when you let the game idle? I just noticed it now for the first time

I never noticed the petting animation, guess I have to go idle near my horse now.. If Bethesda added that I wonder what other idle animations are available?

[ZackyZombify]

I was on the horse at the time >.> just to clear things up

[JVElEven]

Once had a falmer I shot down from very far away end up in a perfect sneak position, so when I crouched down, its stance mirrored my own. That was gold.

Also, Colette Marence's panicked insistance that she is needed.

[CreeperX]

Suddenly remembered this:

Asul, as a recently turned vampire, tried to troll Ancano but got trolled himself instead (damn you fire weakness).
J'zargo walks over his burning body and remarks: "I'll find whoever did this."
For some reason I totally lost it.

[Riothamus]

In doing a trial run of how my assassin's family would like living at Breezehome, the complaints from the kids about the other kids in town being mean was hilarious. But the best line came from Alesan who said: "Lars is such a milkdrinker. He can't even stand up to a girl!" That [&@%!] had me laughing so hard! That's my kid, the big tough one.

So yea, ok kids, Whiterun isn't going to work after all.

I was hoping for more fantasy with my in-game children. I told Sophie to go to bed last night and she said okay...then went into her room and played with her doll.

"[&@%!]," I exclaimed "This is just like real life"

[Dohva.]

I was hoping for more fantasy with my in-game children. I told Sophie to go to bed last night and she said okay...then went into her room and played with her doll.

"[&@%!]," I exclaimed "This is just like real life"

I know. The worst is when they talk back and its too late into the evening to send them off for chores.

Edit: thought of something hilarious that happened to my elf once. She was fighting a cave full of bandits and cast the candlelight spell shortly before being taken down by a Redguard lady bandit. As Sylmirie's dead body lay on the ground, the Redguard stepped over it and casually said about the candlelight spell: "Oh, look at the display of color!" It was pretty amusing.

[H8Ball]

Yeah, casting a Candlelight spell sometimes causes NPC's to say "Look at the pretty colours!" That's colourS (PLURAL). This makes me giggle because they're both wrong and right at the same time. The Candlelight spell gives off WHITE light, which is ONE colour, but white is the presence of ALL colours in the spectrum! Wow. Considering it's a "medieval" world (where NO-ONE has invented lenses or prisms, except the Dwemer), the average citizen's knowledge of optical physics is pretty highly advanced, isn't it?

[Tobias]

There was one time where I had to kill a vampire that was hiding in Marketh and I ended up luring him out into the swamp by telling him that there was "something" I had to show him (silly vampire).

I stopped once we were far enough from the village to do the job. He caught up and said "Well, what is it?" when my character went into a kill-animation where she whipped around and decapitated him.

I also had a time where I was in the mountains and was attacked by a cultist. I ended up decapitating him and had the head rolling down hill in front of me for a good two minutes.

[Jet]

I use my crossbow everywhere and I have serana with me. When it goes to a killcam, most of the time she does a power attack right before my bolt hits whatever it is I'm fighting and I'm like "too slow byatch!".

[Tobias]

Just had a fight against a Blood Dragon on the bridge to Windhelm. I reduced it to the barest sliver of health using crossbow bolts, only to have it fly off and land at the far side of the bridge, near the stables. I started running towards it, only to see someone's horse rush in and kick it to death with a single shot.

Too bad no one would sell me the dragon killing horse...

[H8Ball]

I Sneaked all the way to the top of Autumnwatch Tower and whacked the sleeping Dragon ONCE with Dragonbane (35 points extra damage to Dragons, and 6x damage bonus due to the Sneak perk for One Handed weapons). The SINGLE hit took ALL of its Health, and its death animation was spectacularly illogical and funny. The ALREADY DEAD Dragon immediately took off and, after about 20 seconds of circling to line up for an approach, crash-landed and slid to a stop in a furrow of earth at the base of the tower!

Of course, my zany sense of humour kicked in immediately, picturing a passenger jet on the runway ready to take off... "This is a recorded message from your autopilot. Thank you for flying Dovah Arlines. Unfortunately, the only pilot on board has just died, and procedure dicates that this aircraft attempts a computer-controlled emergency crash landing at the nearest airport. Please fasten your seat belts, stow all tray tables in the upright position and assume the crash position. Commencing take-off run."

[Ark]

Not long after reading this thread I fired up Skyrim for a little while to play my new character, which is kind of a 'stop and smell the roses' build to take some time with and see the sights. So I'm about to go fight the first dragon during Dragon Rising and instead of just charging out the gate to the Western Watchtower I stood by the gate with the rest of the guards and listened to Irileth.

So I'm standing in the back of this gaggle of guards listening to Irileth go all General Patton, when one of the guards turns to me and says:

"We are so dead."

Laughed so loud I woke up the dog. Hands down the funniest of many funny Skyrim moments for me, just because it was so unexpected, and so completely human given the moment and the circumstances. Stuff like that in a game is worth the price of admission right there...

[ConsoleWedding]

Stuff that made me laugh:

Eola, one bad eye and smeared with dirt: "And you thought I was just a pretty face!"

Malthyr Elenil, after giving me an ale in the cornerclub: "This doesn't mean we're engaged or anything!" It's also funnier that Stephen Russell says it because sometimes he has no, uh, indoor voice.

Speaking of which, the way Enthir YELLS some of his lines, as well as every time he says, "I'm all ears!" I know that's a general line that characters voiced by Russell have, but I laugh when Enthir says it because, you know. Elves. Ears.

And the really irritated way that Saffir insists, "I just want to go home and read!!"

[Hawthorn]

More Skyrim-meets-real-life humour: My female Nord was relaxing one evening in the Bannered Mare when Sigurd walked in and sat down opposite her. He spent the best part of an hour staring at her and repeating "I work for Belethor at the general goods store. Come by Belethor's shop in the marketplace!" over and over. It felt like a bad night out being chatted up by some boring guy who can't stop talking about his job, lol. And he didn't even offer to buy me a mead!

[soda popinski]

More Skyrim-meets-real-life humour: My female Nord was relaxing one evening in the Bannered Mare when Sigurd walked in and sat down opposite her. He spent the best part of an hour staring at her and repeating "I work for Belethor at the general goods store. Come by Belethor's shop in the marketplace!" over and over. It felt like a bad night out being chatted up by some boring guy who can't stop talking about his job, lol. And he didn't even offer to buy me a mead!

He's probably one of those guys that is sick of mead, and thinks about the stupid bees and their stupid honey 24/7

[Hawthorn]

More Skyrim-meets-real-life humour: My female Nord was relaxing one evening in the Bannered Mare when Sigurd walked in and sat down opposite her. He spent the best part of an hour staring at her and repeating "I work for Belethor at the general goods store. Come by Belethor's shop in the marketplace!" over and over. It felt like a bad night out being chatted up by some boring guy who can't stop talking about his job, lol. And he didn't even offer to buy me a mead!

He's probably one of those guys that is sick of mead, and thinks about the stupid bees and their stupid honey 24/7

He might've ordered us some wine but probably felt too embarrassed to ask the bar for a "cocktail". A bit rough around the edges is the Bannered Mare!

[H8Ball]

Try creating a male character who's as thin as a fencepost and has the ugliest possible face, then dress in Beggars rags and go to Falkreath roleplaying a starving down-and-out "begging" for a date. There's a certain female Nord who will STILL say in that R-rolling Nordic accent, "A handsome man in Falkreath?" Shows how LOW her standards are, dunnit?