Your favourite Skyrim quotes?

[i-m-so-ghett0]

I used to be the best soldier in the Stormcloak army. Then I took a sword through the chest.

Mai'q was soul trapped once. You should think about that once in a while.

[LiaeTwiler]

"The blind shall see! The lame shall walk! THE SHORT SHALL TALL!"
Oh wait, wrong game.

Aah...
Yeah, all I can think of is "I am sworn to carry your burdens..." in Lydia's snarky and exasperated voice.

[enyamerT]

I used to be an adventurer like you...

Spoiler:

But then I settled down, started a family.

Threw me for such a loop.

Where is that?

Annekke Crag-Jumper, I believe.

Here's one:

"Looking for my husband? Try the Jarl's backside. That's usually where he stuffs himself these days." - Ahlam, wife of Nazeem

[Qwackie]

"I have so many wonderful pictures of you dead in my mind right now."

Random Dunmer to my Racist Nord in Windhelm.

[fritzromanov]

Why, it has to be Farengar Secret-Fire's 'Come to Dragonsreach to discuss the hostilities like the other "great warriors?"'

No, I've come to use your Arcane Enchanter. Again. Like the 3,646 times I previously did.

[Swampy]

Here you stand, talking to a still grieving widow. Why? Am I that interesting? Or perhaps there are other things on your mind."

[Pilaf The Defiler]

ALL TOGETHER NOW

"I used to be an adventurer like you, then i took an arrow in the knee."

You seen those warriors from Hammefell?

They've got curved swords.

CURVED! SWORDS!

[GordonDogKing]

Just heard these two tonight.

One of the old warrior/patriarchs of Whiterun said to my PC, after catching me in a botched sneak attempt--
"(sigh) You're a bad sneak. You're not creeping up on anybody like that."

My follower, Illia, after stepping on a shock rune--
"Ha! like the bite of a flea"

[Narzul]

"Well, you see, as it turns out, I had a pet skeever when I was a boy. And he used to wink."
".. as good a reason as any, I suppose."
"I thought so."

Made me laugh out loud.

[Jagged]

The thing I love most about Mjoll is her sense of timing. I know its random chance but when she lets out a huge sigh after a long and boring speech from Ulfric I can't help but chuckle.

[Daroska]

"There's no glory in war. It's just something they tell soldiers so they'll risk their lives."

"They call me a war hero. I'm no hero, I'm just a soldier who didn't want to die."

Both from Brunwulf Free-Winter, whom I think should be the Jarl of Windhelm, even if I happen to serve the Stormcloaks.

[AdmiralRandom]

"We got a nickname for anyone who trifles with us guards here in Windhelm ... Suicide." Windhelm guard

"A stamina Potion maybe? Very popular with young men." Frida

[toast123]

my race is an orc and i was in a fist fight with a breton i think, then someone yelled out "my moneys on the big one"

[Mefris Elmek]

"Aw, must oil mother soon, get all the hard to reach places."
"...Cicero is hungry...need a sweetroll...or a carrot..."
"Let's kill someone."
"If it's any comfort, I do feel slightly bad about Veezara. Stupid lizard got in my way! But please tell me that hulking sheepdog has bled to death."
"Fall, damn you!"
"For someone called the Listener, you do an awful lot of shouting!"
"I saw a dwarf! I did, I did! Cicero saw a dwarf! There--oh, no... sorry, mhm, no dwarf."
-Cicero

"Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!"
"You are the best Septim that's ever ruled. Well, except for that Martin fellow, but he turned into a dragon god, and that's hardly sporting..."
"Was it Molag? No, no... Little Tim, the toymaker's son? The ghost of King Lysandus? Or was it... Yes! Stanley, that talking grapefruit from Passwall"
"Now you. You can call me Ann Marie. But only if you're partial to being flayed alive and having an angry immortal skip rope with your entrails. I'f not... Then call me Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Charmed."
"Ooh, ooh, what kind of message? A song? a summons? Wait, i know! A death threat written on the back of an Argonian concubine? Those are my favorite."
"You know, you remind me of myself at a young age. All I cared about was riding narwhales and sleeping in honeycombs and drinking babies' tears..."
"And as for you, my little mortal minion... Feel free to keep the Wabbajack. As a symbol of my... Oh, just take the damn thing."
-Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness


"Too much magic can be dangerous. M'aiq once had two spells and burned his sweetroll."
"I saw a mudcrab the other day. Horrible creatures!"
"M'aiq does not understand what is so impressive about shouting. M'aiq can shout whenever he wants."
"Dragons were never gone. They were just invisible, and very very quiet."
"Nords' armor has lots of fur. This sometimes makes M'aiq nervous."
"Some say Alduin is Akatosh. Some say M'aiq is a Liar. Don't you believe either of those things."
"M'aiq's father was also called M'aiq. As was M'aiq's father's father. At least, that's what his father said."
-M'aiq the Liar

[SithisIsMyCopilot]

"A worker gets out of line? I get him back in line." the smelter overseer in Markarth.

All of Nazir's little puns, as well as his thoughts on Cicero & the night mother.

The guards response to the mace of Molag Bal.

Anything the imperials with Balthiers voice actor say. Ditto Delvin Mallory.

[Dark Spark]

my race is an orc and i was in a fist fight with a breton i think, then someone yelled out "my moneys on the big one"

Radiant AI response from bystanders to a confrontation. Any kind of confrontation, it seems.

[Gideon Dragontongue]

Everything that M'aiq says is golden. There are some others that have made me laugh, but I can't think of them right now.

[Will Zurmacht]

“Any last requests before I send you to… to wherever you people go when you die.” - Big T

[SpikeSpeigel]

"Looking for my husband? Try the Jarl's backside. That's usually where he stuffs himself these days." - Ahlam, wife of Nazeem

Never got the double entrendre til just now! LMFAO!

Also, my signature. From the butcher in Markarth.

[Leisure Pirate]

"Congratulations, you killed an emaciated beggar in cold blood, surely you are an opponent to be feared"
-Nazir

"You DARE FIGHT a DUNmer!?"
-a Dunmer

"My wife is dead, DEAD "
-Asgeir Snow-Shod

"Snitch or double cross and I'll kill you I mean it "
-Fugitive