Funny School Stories

[unokitsune]

I never went to Prom.

I did but never with anyone. Guys would break up with me before.

[Dark Lord Cam]

I wouldn't have been able to get a date anyway. So it doesn't really bother me too much.

[Arch-Mage Matt]

School is one of those words that loose meaning when said over and over.

School. School. What a ridiculous word. Shchoool.

Should I post a funny story? Um, well, when I was in grade school, I asked my art teacher how my drawing project was coming along. She just looked at it and said "Eh. Can't change it now." Thus the world would never see Matt the Artist.

[AddictedtoMorrowind]

Then there was the time our Chemistry teacher blew apart his arm while fusing Hydrogen and Oxygen in a glass flask. Remember kids, ALWAYS use a plastic graduated cylinder when the reaction involves rapidly expanding gases!

Wait, wut?

[Will Zurmacht]

I don't get why brides wear white dresses as it symbolizes purity. Most women who marry today haven't been virgins since their teen years.

Does purity have to mean virginity? I mean that's just inexperience. A more relevant kind of married purity would be fidelity. By the way, do you like Kate Middleton's white dress?

--

While we're on the subject of clothes in school, one of my profs told us how he wore a jacket and tie to work early in his career, and was accused by other faculty of wearing an "authoritarian costume."

Stay classy, politically correct tasteless hippie academia.

[Avron the S'wit]

Story two: My high school was a private, Catholic school, so we had to have so many hours of community service to graduate. One of the projects I decided to do was to help paint the whole pool area of a local YMCA - you know, with marine life and what not.

Okay, let me break this down for you:
pool + one very clumsy Avron + paints + silly people ... I'm sure I don't have to tell you how I spent the latter half of that night. But I did get some great, psychedelic pants out of it!

[Gideon Dragontongue]

My high school is a private Catholic school.

Hmmm...

[Dark Lord Cam]

I went to a private all boys catholic school. It was boring.

[Avron the S'wit]

All I know about Catholic school is that it made it really, really hard for me to figure out what to wear when I didn't have a uniform every day...

And, fun fact, to this day I still will change my outfit 12 times because I can't figure out what looks "right." Which is another funny story, because I totally was late for my first day of university because of this.

[Dark Lord Cam]

I've never cared about what I wear. I'll likely show up to my first class in college wearing jeans and a generic T-shirt. Oh, and an overcoat.

[Musicman247]

Wore a plain white t-shirt and khaki pants to my first day of college. Ah, memories.

[Sav]

During Wood Shop, i was using a belt sander to smooth out this crack in a boat i was making. I didn't realize that the piece of the boat i was sanding was about to break off. The piece of wood breaks off, goes flying, and ends up almost hitting the teacher's face. I spent the rest of the day looking for it, only to find it had landed in a sink in the back of the room.

[The Raven]

School is one of those words that loose meaning when said over and over.

School. School. What a ridiculous word. Shchoool.

Should I post a funny story? Um, well, when I was in grade school, I asked my art teacher how my drawing project was coming along. She just looked at it and said "Eh. Can't change it now." Thus the world would never see Matt the Artist.

And so you became a jew-hating dictator. Archdolf Mittler.

[Arch-Mage Matt]

I'm just barely intelligent enough to understand the reference. +1

[the Savage Hippie]

Once I had to be at school at 8 AM monday morning... I arrived at 12 PM wednesday

[DorostheConqueror]

Back when I was in highschool, one of the SAs and four cheerleaders were busted and expelled for filming "child [&@%!]" in one of our dorm's basements. I dunno if that's funny or not, but I laughed when I found out.

Also, two kids were indicted by the feds for allegedly operating a South American cocaine smuggling branch out of the basement of one of our administrative buildings (I guess they said they were involved in a "foreign exchange club" or something), and then there was that time a Mafia don's son got expelled days before graduation for failing his finals and generally being an ass. They had to call in some out of state SWAT teams to police the graduation ceremony, after receiving a record number of bomb and shooting threats.

[TiberSeptimsGrandma]

One day during a test I got up and did that mime thing where you go behind a table and it looks like you're going downstairs.

My algebra teacher was giving me attitude so told her some ish about how she was an incredibly terrible teacher and how she looked like a crack head.

I told my psychology teacher that we shouldn't create synthetic life to send out to search for ET, because "the Quarians did it and look what happened to them". The few people that understood it laughed SO hard.

My woodshop teacher had us write short stories in class one day (go figure, he was a nut), so I copied Alice in Wonderland to the letter, and some other kid got a 0 for writing about a "magic tree".

And I got a 60 on a vocab test so I FUS RO DAHed my teacher. THAT was fun.

[Dark Lord Cam]

But... that's not at all what the Quarians did. /nerd

[TiberSeptimsGrandma]

But... the Geth..

[Arch-Mage Matt]

The Quarians created Geth as housemaids, not to search for other life. /outnerded

[yodah]

We just had a drug search today. Basically involves a hour and a half lockdown of the entire school, while the police come in and let some dogs loose. Three seniors got busted and expelled, about two months before their graduation. ...Idiots.

[TiberSeptimsGrandma]

I didn't mean to search for life, I meant creating synthetic life that could eventually rebel! I know my Mass Effect.

[unokitsune]

I'm not sure what caused it but one year 1 girl got mad at another girl ((possibly boy issues)) and decided to tie a used tampon to the second girl's locker.

[The Loner]

6th grade, one class had a sub. The previous classes claimed she was insane. We could smell the vodka on her. She screamed don't [&@%!] lie to me so we sent one girl for help (for whom the teacher chased for 20 seconds). By the way she could barely walk. She started to talk about monkeys and then the principal called 911 so the ambulance could take her away for alcohol poisoning (which she died from). Best Grandparents day ever. For the record, her last name was Martini.

[ZeRoc]

Once in my English class last year a girl sat down in a desk, and the chair broke. The substitute, who is probably 70, said completely deadpan, "well, maybe you shouldn't be so fat." Cue shock from everyone in the class. (save me who was about to laugh his head off, and the girl wasn't even fat.)