Hungry Thieves Guild

[Butterknife]

Hi. I'm new to the forum. Was reading through one of the pages when I came across the "snak" joke, and just made me think of a fun sidequest mod.

After becoming the Grey Fox, Amusei tells you about his former life of independent thievery. He tells you about a small guild of rogue bandits known as the Hungry Thieves. He marks a location on your map of Bravil.

So you travel to Bravil and ask one of the beggars about the Hungry Thieves. They tell you they think something's going on under the skooma den, and you might want to try looking near there.

Searching the lower residence of the skooma den, you find a trap door leading into a half furnished cave. This is the base of operations for the Hungry Thieves Guild. An Argonian named Snak pulls a knife on you, and asks what you're doing here. If you're not wearing the Cowl of Nocturnal, he'll try to kill you.
If you were smart and came to him as the Grey Fox, he'll only think you're a dishonorable thief, but thinks you might have what it takes to be one of the greats. (funny, since you just stole an elder scroll from the imperial palace, and gained the cowl of nocturnal)
He asks you if you want to try your hand at "real" thievery. If you say no, he'll say something along the lines of "Thought so. Worthless guildie." Don't worry, you can always come back and get the quest.
If you agree, he'll tell you to go rob the Bravil Castle. He wants you to take the cake, literally, by stealing a special Sweet Cake named "Countess's Delight".
There's a time limit on stealing this delicious pastry, as if you wait too long, the countess will devour your mission objective. Don't worry, it respawns once a week, and stays in the dining area for three hours.
Now, what three hours will it be there, you might be asking? Well, if the beggars don't know, you might have to ask someone else in the castle. Ask the wrong person though, and the guards might decide it's time to step up the pastry security.
To make things even harder (assuming, like me, you can't pay off your bounty as the Gray Fox, so every freakin' guard wants you dead), you're not allowed to take off the Cowl of Nocturnal after you start the quest, or you'll lose whatever bonus Snak was going to give you. (A piece of cake with very nice restoritive abilities that can be duplicated in the enchanted chest in the mage's guild).

The next quest involves stealing a very impressive wheel of cheese from our favorite Ayleid artifact collector Umbacano. If Umbacano's dead, that's fine tool The wheel of cheese is on the first floor. If the guard is gone, stealing the cheese is easy. If the guard is there, it's still easy. What's hard is what happens next. The cheese is so odoriferous, that every guard you walk by will instantly notice you're in the possession of some freshly stolen not-so-fresh dairy product. You're allowed to remove your cowl for this quest, but it doesn't matter. You're still going to be hunted by every guard you pass by. Stealing the cheese instantly raises your bounty to 10000s. Even the beggars will want to turn you in. You'd better get back to Bravil quick, and under cover of night. Unfortunately, all the exits out of town are blocked. Cheese has a nice way of blocking passages, don't it? So you're going to have to make your way out through the sewers. Zombies and bandits and mudcrabs, OH MY! And guards chasing behind you.
Better have some fortify speed/chameleon/paralyze spells.

When you turn in the cheese, Snak will take care of your bounty, and the guards won't realize your stench of swiss. You'll come out with a nice reward too: a few cheese sandwiches (that cannot be duplicated with the enchanted chest) that can mysteriously chameleon you for 100% for ten minutes. Congrats on earning the invisible sandwich.

As for other quests... I dunno. I'll figure 'em out later. I'm seriously considering learning how to create a quest line, just so I could make that.

[Butterknife]

ooh! Maybe he'll send you on a quest to steal food from a plane of oblivion? Maybe steal a daedra's sweet tarts?

[Butterknife]

For your third quest, Snak sends you after a less appetizing meal: Maggot Infested Venison. Well, you knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, what with all the stupid people of Tamriel leaving their food out all the time. But wait, what's that? The only place to find it is on a zombified deer? WTF?! Where are you going to find one of those?
Snak tells you he can smell it on your clothes. Where've you been? The sewer? Oh, right. Last mission. He tells you there must have been a necromancer down in the sewers who had a thing for freshly arisen deer. And for some reason, our famished argonian friend wants this fouled flesh.

Thus starts your quest, "Go to Hell, deer."

Make your way back to the sewer, figure out where the entrance to this necromancer's lair is, and silently and so-forth sneak your stealthy self down there (yay alliterations!). You find yourself in a blue-fog ensconced crypt full of dead-yet-prancing venison. But careful now, these aren't your average deer. No, they're zombies, dear. Cold and mindless flesh-hungry rampaging deer. And once you kill them, they get back up again (tagged essential). Crap. It'd probably be in your best interests not to tangle with these creepy crawlies. Sneak your way through the sewer-crypt-deer-farm and creep up behind the butcher-mancer. Whenever he's awake, he's at his butcher's table. He's also tagged essential, and twenty levels above you, so don't even think about using your handy-dandy 6x damage bonus on him. Wait until he goes to bed and search the drawer on his table. Find his butcher-mancy notes, and read up on undead venison.

It seems this rare necrotic meat is a delicacy with certain daedra, and can fetch a hefty price in certain plains of oblivion. Freshly bleeding yet rotting venison seems to be a favorite of Sithis himself. How strange.
It also mentions that the only way to harvest this meat is by using a butchers knife blessed by Sithis himself.

Well crap, where are you going to find one of those? Luckily, there's a slab of the maggoty meat sitting right there on the table. This is just too easy.
Snatch the goods and make a run for it. Take it back to Snak, and he'll lick his chops like the greedy scaly garbage disposal he is.
He gives you 2000s and the promise of "there's more where that came from, but for now I've got a new task, if you think you've got the radishes for it."

You reply "I've got ebony sigil stones, bait breath. Bring it on."

More coming later. I've got a neat story worked out from here.

[Butterknife]

Quest numbah 4. "You Lying Pig"

This next quest is pretty straightforward. Snak wants you to steal some bacon. Bacon? Yesssss. Bacon.
But no, not just any boar will do. Snak wants the leanest bacon in all Tamriel. You're going to have to go to the Arena. Remember porkchop? Well, we're thieves, not crazies. That pig would tear up anybody who set foot in it's cage. So we're going to go for his twin sister, Ms Piggy. Now, we're thieves, not butchers, as stated in the last quest. So we're probably going to have to get someone else to kill Ms. Piggy for us. If you kill The pig yourself, you'll skip to the next step in the quest line, but it'll be a lot harder for you to squirm your way out.
There's a fresh recruit in the bloodworks; an orc pitdog by the name Kurm gro-Mofrug, who's a little dim in the attic, if you get my drift. Trick him into thinking he's been ordered by the Blademaster to serve up some bacon to the Arena champion. This is made even easier if you yourself are the Arena champion, since you won't have to raise his disposition.
Once Kurm gro-Mofrug kills Ms Piggy, loot the bacon off her, and make your way to the exit. But wait, the Blademaster heard squeals and wants to know what's up. He immediately sees that his favorite Pig is dead, and decides to blame you. You now have four options. Follow the dialog which gives you some interesting lies to spout, raise his disposition, or one of two options after stuttering through the dialog at which point he'll end the conversation and attack you. You can then either cast a charm spell on him to magically raise his disposition, or fight back. If you fight back, however, everyone in the bloodworks will instantly try to kill you. If you kill anyone durring this quest, Snak will tell you how crappy you are at thievery, and no longer give you any more quests. So, I wouldn't recommend doing that.
Lie your way out of the situation, or raise your disposition with him up to 90 (his disposition drops 2 per second, so you'd better be quick about it), and then make your way back to Snak. He'll set the lean bacon aside for now, comment how champion pork is to die for, and swiftly send you on your next mission.

[Butterknife]

Quest 5, "Berry Creative Thievery"
Snak sends you to the imperial palace. He wants you to steal a special fruit the monks have been developing, called an "Akaviri Sun Berry". He only needs one. So, you're going to have to retrace your steps, but without all your fancy shmancy gear the previous gray fox gave you.

To do this quest, you're also required to wear the Cowl of Nocturnal the entire time you're in the palace, as Snak doesn't want your theft to be able to trace back to him.
The sewers will also be locked off to you, at this time, save one special man-hole grate in the palace district. This grate will lead back to the guard's sleeping quarters, and you'll have to make your way back to the palace library. At the bottom of the stairs is a small potted plant with a few berries on it. Take one. As soon as you take one, a flood of guards comes in to crash your party. Your only dialog option is "Hide the berry."

You're immediately arrested. Wow. Sucks for you. The only things in your inventory are your Cowl, lock pick, and Akaviri Sun Berry. And unfortunately for you, there are five guards posted at your door. Hyronimus Lex even came to town, and is right in front of your cell door, gloating the whole time.
Boy this'll take some creative thinking to get out of. Then again, maybe it won't.
There is no bed roll. You cannot serve your sentence. You're going to have to figure out how to escape from prison.

Regardless, there's also a guard looking at the evidence locker at all times, so there's no possible way for you to get your gear back. Wow. That sucks.

Make your way back to Snak, and turn in the fruit of your labor. He'll give you back your gear, telling you he had one of his more competent thieves retrieve it for you.
Dang, maybe you aren't the thief you think you are.

[Butterknife]

Are you beginning to notice a food theme mixed with creative ways to play a thief? Good, 'cause it keeps up through the rest of the quest line.

After your last heist, if it can be called that, Snak tells you he's gained the last reagent. He's bootstrapped a home made portal into a certain plain of oblivion. He's fashioned the cheese, the cake, the bacon, and the berry, all which had supernatural qualities to it, (bacon has supernatural qualities? Of course it does!) and made a gate into Sithis' cooks' lair. Thus begins your quest: "Hell's Kitchen".

You're right. I designed this whole quest line just to use that title. You're going to appreciate it. Now appreciate it, dagnabbit!

He opens the gate, and in you go. You're going to use the corrupted venison you gathered earlier to trade Sithis' cook for a key. Snak's rather ambiguous about what the key goes to, but assures you it's worth risking your life. He tells you that gaining the attention of any of the daedra guards on your way to Hell's Kitchen will in fact assuredly get you pwnzord. (It's an argonian word. Trust me.) Each of the guards is an essential character, and five levels above you. It won't do you any good to try to kill them. Why would you though? You're a thief. Knives are for people who can't sneak as well as you. You'll also be silenced and naked when you enter Oblivion, so no sneaky work with invisibility or chameleon. You're gonna have to use your skills. Tough luck, homeboy.

Get to hell's cook, and trade him the fetid meat for the key, and you'll be instantly teleported back to Snak. Your stuff is returned as soon as you leave oblivion. Phwew. Thought I was going to make you retrace your steps, didn't you? I'm not that cruel.
While you were gone, Snak had his other thieves gather the materials for one final oblivion gate. Guess where you're going for your next quest. No, not Martha Stuart's house. Oblivion is scary enough.
Guess again.

[Butterknife]

I think I'm going to leave the rest of it blank. I know how I want it to end in my mind, but if this mod does get made, I want there to be an element of surprise to it. So, yeah. I'm not gonna reveal any more of the plot.

Tell me what you think? Good idea? Bad one? Stupid for stealing a joke? Well yeah, there is that. Sorry. But Ace said he felt honored.

So? Any comments? Suggestions? Any takers for how you think it's gonna end?

[Bear]

I love it! Who wouldn't want their character to be put into the game, in such a manner? I know I had a very small part in all this, but it is Ace's character we are talking about here, so he would have creative license on that IMO.

[Butterknife]

Maybe Snak has a pet Bear in the basement?

[ace62394]

Nah, it's ok. he sent me a pm, and i replyed telling him that i felt honored

[Bear]

I was the one to point out the misspelling. TS198 was the one who said he was a hungry thief. and it grew! I don't know about the bear in the basement but my argoinian theif "Sneeed", wouldn't mind a small part if the mod is actually made. Argonian thieves rule!

[Butterknife]

Well, what I posted was mostly just a colorful outline. Now I need to make an actual script. Figure out the cast, what new characters to make, how many extra guards I'll need.

And I'll need someone to reskin the deer. Figure out all the dialog options.

I dunno, should I use the advanced Thieves Tools mod? Or just keep it vanilla. I'm kind of leaning towards vanilla, mostly for the extra challenge.

I dunno. This is going to take a lot of thought. I'll try to write something up closer to the weekend. I've got my final projects and stuff for this semester due in a few weeks.
I'm a graphics design student. I'm *VERY* new to 3D work. I like to think of this as a big fun challenge.

May is looking like a pretty empty month right now, so I'll try to set myself up to knock out some work on it then.

[ace62394]

oh btw, if you put the mod on tessource.com or something, be sure to post a link to my profile here

[Codex]

Can't wait to try this mod. Snak and Sneeed sounds perfect for argonian thieves And be sure to let us know when it's done. Post it in the Oblivion forum, so everyboy will know about it. Feels like there are few who actually takes a look at the mod section. At least satan_n_stuff hasn't posted here yet. YET.

[ace62394]

oh, make sure that Snak is wearing elven with a glass helm, cause that's what i wear.

[Butterknife]

Your gear will probably change before the mod ever gets realized.

Although, I'll make a note of what the armor reward will look like.

[ace62394]

i came up with one

Once you come back to Tamriel, Snak tells you that someone in the Imperial City is making a new food in which he put squashed tomatos on a flat, flaky bread. Then, he puts cheese on it, and puts it in the oven. He claims you can put anything on it! Snak dosen't believe this, and makes you go get him a piece of it. Well, once you get to his house near the Imperial City, there are a couple of guards that order you to take off all weapons and armor before you go in because the "inventor" of the new "delicacy" is actually very, very, very, rich, and has ordered security! The guards also give you a silence self ability so that you can't use spells. So once you're in, the food will be in a display case that has a very hard lock. Once you take the food, you will get a 5000 coin bounty, and all the guards will come after you! So take it to Snak(he'll clear up your bounty) and your reward will be a lifetime supply of what he calls "pizza."

[ace62394]

...

[Bear]

I think I may have one.

Shomora, the cook at the "Three Sister's Lodge" in Leyawiin, is looking to join the Hungry Thieves guild. Snak is wondering exactly what she can bring to the table(tee hee) besides being a cook. She says that she has gotten wind of some info of the redguard Wilbur in Anvil who has been combining flour and corn to make tortillas, she needs to know how this combo is being made, with the promise of a reward. Snak sends you out to find out exactly what wilbur is doing. After some sneaking around you catch wilbur making a batch of these tortillas and you report the news back to Shomora. She says with this info she will make a delight worthy of the Hungry Thieves Guild, come back in 3 days time to find out what. In 3 days you go back and she hands you a plate of what she calls "Nachos". Nachos will give you the benefits of Fortify Agility, Reflect Damage, and Fire Shield. You report back to Snak and tell him Shomora will be happy to supply all the Hungry Thieves with these nachos in return for her membership. Snak agrees and gives you a level dependant amount of gold, And now nachos are available to all Hungry Thieves Guild members for a small price.

I have a little more detail(if need be) then what I'm able to post at the moment, but it is fairly minor. Just wanted to get this idea out first of all.

[lowbart]

Holy crap this sounds awesome. I love the zombie deer.

[Lunarsweets]

Wish mods were for xbox...

Although I really have to admit...that is a really really good idea I love it sooo much.

[Deandra]

Not only has Necromancy been banned from practice in the Mages Guild, but the Guild won't deal with anyone who openly uses it.

[lowbart]

Since this thread seems to have risen from the grave like one of Butterknife's zombified deer, has there been much progress on the actual mod? Any updates on the way?

[Butterknife]

nope. I've got school and a job now, and what little free time I have goes more towards other hobbies like yo-yoing and girls. Sorry. I haven't even played oblivion in two weeks. And not seriously for months.

If anybody wants to make this, feel free. I don't have the programming skills needed for something like this. The texturing I could handle, but I suck at 3D modeling and programming.

[Lunarsweets]

yo yoing ? God you must be real bored