Why were you in jail?

[DeadlyPerfume]

I made an Altmer character today. She's an assassin who thinks she's a Paladin. She was imprisoned for unlawful execution of a baker.

See, being a vampire-hunter, she was visiting Skingrad to investigate rumors that a certain count may or may not be partial to drinking human blood. On her way through the city streets, she stopped at the local tavern and traded rumors with the townsfolk. A (rather intoxicated) wood elf told her he kind of thought he saw a vampire in this one house, at some time, maybe.

With a sword in her hand and a song on her lips, she gallantly raced to the house the Bosmer had described and kicked down the door. Inside she found the vampire-- a menacing affront to all that is holy, wearing a fearsome chef's hat and brandishing a radish.

"Oblivion take you, evil-doer!" she cried, stabbing the monster through the heart with her righteous blade. Nirn having been made safer by her noble efforts, she took a sweetroll from the shelf and left. Later that same day, she was interrupted in her prayers at mass by an irate guard captain that insisted the man she killed was Salmo the Baker, who was in fact, not a vampire at all, just rather pasty and slightly wrinkled.

Off to the clink our misguided Protagonist went...vowing to kill her captors, steal a horse, and run away so that she might continue to do the good work of the Nine.

[Iamgoofball]

My guy accidentally let loose a spell that did fire damage 100 points in 20 feet for 2 seconds in the market district when there was a crowd of people in the middle of the district.

[ZombieMonkeyNZ]

Well, I kinda, you know, slipped and dropped my dagger into the whole population of Rivet City, then used the teleporter from Olympus.
Turns out that even though the guards were from another planet, they still know that someone committed a crime.



P.S. The Olympus teleporter is reference from a popular Fallout 3 Mod.

[shadow_of_sithis]

well i was buying stuff in the stores and i wanted to have a closer look, so i picked it up (not put in my inventory ) just picked it up. while i was looking at it the store owner started yelling "THIEF!THIEF!" and began attacking me, so i ran outside and next thing you know , i was frozen then i heard "STOP!you violated the law. pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. your stolen goods are now forfeit". then i was given a choice to either go to jail or pay, but i didnt have much money so i went to jail.

[zzfallens]

My Warrior Nord character was a Journeyman in the Fighters Guild somewhere in Skyrim. One time, while he was on a contract in Cyrodiil, he got too drunk in an inn. He punched a man in the face. This man happened to be Glenroy, the Blade. He was thrown in the Imperial Prison for 2 years, until The Emperor came through and freed him.

He now resides in Battlehorn castle

[Vendetta]

My latest character got in trouble for being a badass chick

[AeraDunmerMoon]

Aera Moon was a dunmer lass who was very dissatisfied with the religious opportunities that she had in Morrowind: Namely, the Tribunal and the Imperial Cult. After all, the Tribunal is a bunch of heathen traitors, and the gods of the Imperial Cult tended not to reply when one prayed to them. So after much journeying, into Cyrodiil even, she stumbled upon a shrine to Vaermina. Immediately, she took up with the Daedra, and began to do her bidding. Now, this wouldn't have been an issue, but she went back to her home town in Morrowind and tried to spread the worship of Vaermina. So the locals, being rather irritated with her, hid a few of their things and blamed her for stealing them. She was arrested, but not before she stabbed one of the people who set her up in the eye. After all, if she was going to jail, she might as well give a good reason for it.

[DerangedPickle]

I punched a guy.... in the face.... with a sword. 50 times.

[lord_mystery001]

The only back-stories ive ever made were for my previously mentioned char. FARFROMRIL, and my first char. (who was also my first TES experience, Lord_Mystery001, in Oblivion.)
Apparently i was a follower of the Mythic Dawn, (a bad one apparently) and started a fight with a few sleeper agents in Bravil..That explained why i was in jail, but the Imperial City Prison.....THAT was my lawyer. "I'm friends with the judge" he says. Apparently (there's that word again) the "Judge" had other plans for me.

All of this came to me on my first playthrough. It seemed the Mythic Dawn were all over me, and they killed me. After finding out who they were later ingame, I figured this was my logical reasoning for being in Bravil's jail aswell as the Imperial City Prison.

[Divine Julianos]

Killing several soldiers while being chased off a bridge. (no joke)

[Vermundr]

I was born in jail.

[merodoc]

Conspiracy to take over the world. See me and my khajiit friend are genetically altered humans which turned us into our current bestial form and anyway i was the brain behind the operation. anyway they sent me to the imperial prison though my pinky was to stupid they thought it had nothing to do with my plans thus left it out of the horrible ordeal of the imperial prison.

if you get the reference than you are awesome

[GenghisPF]

I was trying to sneak into the Imperial City Market District via sewers. I made a wrong turn and ended up in the cell you start in at the beginning of the game. Little do they know, there is a way to open the door from the other side. Oh well, at least I didn't stay there too long.

[MARS]

I'm the jailor. Now back to your cell criminal scum!

[ShadowHunterxD]

Ran around naked high on skooma round house kicking people like Chuck Norris

[AKB]

I'm the jailor. Now back to your cell criminal scum!

Yes sir... (Immediately leaves cell again through the secret passage they never bothered to close)

You aren't very good at your job, are you?

[MARS]

I'm the jailor. Now back to your cell criminal scum!

Yes sir... (Immediately leaves cell again through the secret passage they never bothered to close)

You aren't very good at your job, are you?

I don't get paid enough to bother with the emperor's escape route's. You'll be back to kill Dreth anyway. And then you'll meet my little friend

[AKB]

I'm the jailor. Now back to your cell criminal scum!

Yes sir... (Immediately leaves cell again through the secret passage they never bothered to close)

You aren't very good at your job, are you?

I don't get paid enough to bother with the emperor's escape route's. You'll be back to kill Dreth anyway. And then you'll meet my little friend

So the prison is employing wood elves now? How cute! What with their little guard uniforms, and their squeaky "Stop right there criminal scum!" I look forward to it! This might make escaping even easier actually, all I'll have to do now is say "Look the Grand Champion!" and loot everything that isn't nailed down while it is distracted. In fact I might have the time to go get a hammer and properly clear the place out. If anything I should be thanking you!

[MARS]

I meant my mace...

[AKB]

You befriended an inanimate object? Did the guards mental therapy package get canceled? See this is why you need to unionize, we thieves and murderers have our own guilds but what do you have?!? I suggest you and you fellow guards stage a protest outside of your bosses office right now while I escape again after stealing absolutely everything, heck even the walls mortar will go if I have the time. patiently wait for my next beating sir!

[0rimus]

Sol was in the midst of a skooma binge and was looking for some restore fatigue potions because he was feeling lethargic. But the shop owner of the Mystic Emporium was (as always) late. Munchies started to set in, so Sol opened a nearby barrel that had tongs, a ball of yarn, and an ancient withered orange in it. But apparently that orange belonged to someone.

Before Sol could decide weather to eat it a guard approached and said: "Stop right there criminal scum!"

But because he was so imbibed it sounded more like:

"I AM MEHRUNES DAGON!!!!"

So yeah. Arrested for petty theft, possession, and resisting arrest

[MARS]

You befriended an inanimate object? Did the guards mental therapy package get canceled? See this is why you need to unionize, we thieves and murderers have our own guilds but what do you have?!? I suggest you and you fellow guards stage a protest outside of your bosses office right now while I escape again after stealing absolutely everything, heck even the walls mortar will go if I have the time. patiently wait for my next beating sir!

It was a Scarface reference. But how could I expect a lowly criminal like you to have knowledge of such art?

[AKB]

Seriously, what's Scarface??? At first I was worried that you were applying real emotions and personality traits to inaminate objects, you befriended your mace after all. But now you are referencing things that don't exist? You are ill, just unlock my cell and I'll take you to the sewers to sell you into slavery, that would teach you to lock me up you dog!!! to the temple to be healed, you are sick. The first step to healing is unlocking my cell by the way. Seriously let me out, you put me in a cell with a necrophiliac, and let us just say that he has improvised weapons so that he can satisfy his "urges" as he calls them. Please?

[Dark Spark]

You befriended an inanimate object? Did the guards mental therapy package get canceled? See this is why you need to unionize, we thieves and murderers have our own guilds but what do you have?!? I suggest you and you fellow guards stage a protest outside of your bosses office right now while I escape again after stealing absolutely everything, heck even the walls mortar will go if I have the time. patiently wait for my next beating sir!

It was a Scarface reference. But how could I expect a lowly criminal like you to have knowledge of such art?

"Ya' touched Pete's piece. There something ya' don't want to do..."

"Forget about it? Ya' mean— rip it from my memory like a picture from a book? Picture of a small boy— kinda shy, with big ears who only wanted to be liked. And the laughing faces of his classmates, mocking him. Because he forgot to wear his pants to school! IS THAT WHATCHA MEAN!?"

[thepigclub]

I forgot to feed the previous occupant of my cell, Terrance. Poor chap, he was just skin and bones