Funny/interesting pictures, events and stories

[Redguard_Master]

That's just strange.

[Arch-Mage Matt]

So, the weirdest thing just happened. I was going to The Tiber Septim Hotel with Claude Maric, as soon as I enter there's a Heretic Watchman inside that tries to attack me, then Augusta Calida pull out an iron mace and attcks the heretic who then just walks out.

That is because the Tiber Septim Hotel is the safe zone... meaning that anything that falls through the floors added by a mod (official or not) will wind up there, so it doesn't dissapear.

[hyperdai]

shadowmere pushed me off dive rock -_-

[Redguard_Master]

Maybe she thought since you keep pushing the adoring fan off she was next?

[hyperdai]

Maybe she thought since you keep pushing the adoring fan off she was next?

aww never! i luvs her!

[Biotechnic]

And all of a sudden, I had the greatest idea ever...

And then I had another!

Spoiler:

The joke is that I'm wearing the Arch-Mage robes.

[Redguard_Master]

I was at the inn of ill omen when I heard bows and yelling. The Morang tong assassin from mehrune's razor comes up absolutely peppered with arrows. Oh by the way I know he heads there. Then some legion forresters come running down the road and our assassin took one of em down. The some inn residents came out and I decided to put down the assassin before he killed them. I wondered a few things? First is why does the legion have dudes who aside from this their jobs seems to be annoying deer? I also wondered why when the assassin fought with a dagger did he have the amulet of axes? But I did take the amulet and switched it in and my amulet of swords out. Figured since their reflect damage is the same and my sword is above 100 base might as well have the blunt bonus.

[Argonanza]

I was doing the Bow of Extrication quest and that Mage guy you steal it from was chasing me through the landscape.(couldnt kill him cause im in mages guild).but all of the sudden he decides to go hunt some deer.
He runs around killing deer and yelling stuff like WHY WONT U DIE? and this is the part where you bleed to death!
and then he is finished of by a big arse bear

[scribbane]

I was travelling through the wilderness somewhere, and saw a forester. He comes running in my direction with his bow drawn. I immediately crouch, and know that he doesn't see me. He is chasing a deer, and yells "For the Emperor!". Similar to argonanza, but I still found it amusing that he blamed the death of the emperor on deer.

[Redguard_Master]

Why exactly does the legion have the forest guys anyway? Seems like an odd duty ,"Johnsonus! Forget the whole Oblivion invasion. I need you to go out to the woods and kill every deer you can find!" I don't get it.

[Drethelis]

I super apologize for not posting anything cool lately regarding this. I really should.

[H8Ball]

Hi, folks,

As anyone familiar with me on this forum knows, I'm always game to jump in on a laugh-a-minute opportunity. Here are three screenshots from the "Marksman" series in my Oblivion "photo album":-

How to stop a cat coughing up hairballs...
Need a light? Oh, sorry, I see you've quit smoking already...
The Ogre who failed his circus audition because he didn't practice his act...

Note 1: All images are 1360x768 (16:9 widescreen), since I use my 32" LCD HD TV as my monitor.
Note 2: Custom mini-HUD is courtesy of the Darnified UI v1.3.2 mod, an absolute must-have which does away with the horrible "large" Xbox interface!
Note 3: NO thumbnails because a. I don't want to spoil the surprises and b. many thumbnails contain just as much data as one large image, which makes forum pages display slowly for users without Broadband.

I love taking screenshots of Oblivion's beautiful scenery, especially sunrises and sunsets (which are truly awesome with the Beaming Sunglare mod). And I can't resist capturing those you'll-never-believe-it or just downright hilarious fall-off-your-chair moments. The Bow is my all-time favourite giggle-inducer, since I get a LOT of fun from examining corpses after battles to see where my arrows have penetrated!

I'll never forget the time I dismounted from my horse to battle a Marauder Archer, only to find three arrows stuck in my saddle, perfectly lined up side by side! The old Darts joke immediately sprang to mind, "Ooooooooone Hundred and Eighty!" Unfortunately, the battle took so long that the arrows faded away and I missed a glorious chance for an awesome screenshot. OUCH! I've since configured Bashed Patch (comes with Wrye Bash mod manager) to increase the arrow litter count from 15 to 100 and the time till they fade away from 90 seconds to 10 minutes. Gives me the opportunity to feather enemies like pincushions and plenty of time to examine the corpses and position them for screenshots!

Hope you find the screenies as hilarious as I do!

[Drethelis]

Hi, folks,

As anyone familiar with me on this forum knows, I'm always game to jump in on a laugh-a-minute opportunity. Here are three screenshots from the "Marksman" series in my Oblivion "photo album":-

How to stop a cat coughing up hairballs...
Need a light? Oh, sorry, I see you've quit smoking already...
The Ogre who failed his circus audition because he didn't practice his act...

Note 1: All images are 1360x768 (16:9 widescreen), since I use my 32" LCD HD TV as my monitor.
Note 2: Custom mini-HUD is courtesy of the Darnified UI v1.3.2 mod, an absolute must-have which does away with the horrible "large" Xbox interface!
Note 3: NO thumbnails because a. I don't want to spoil the surprises and b. many thumbnails contain just as much data as one large image, which makes forum pages display slowly for users without Broadband.

I love taking screenshots of Oblivion's beautiful scenery, especially sunrises and sunsets (which are truly awesome with the Beaming Sunglare mod). And I can't resist capturing those you'll-never-believe-it or just downright hilarious fall-off-your-chair moments. The Bow is my all-time favourite giggle-inducer, since I get a LOT of fun from examining corpses after battles to see where my arrows have penetrated!

I'll never forget the time I dismounted from my horse to battle a Marauder Archer, only to find three arrows stuck in my saddle, perfectly lined up side by side! The old Darts joke immediately sprang to mind, "Ooooooooone Hundred and Eighty!" Unfortunately, the battle took so long that the arrows faded away and I missed a glorious chance for an awesome screenshot. OUCH! I've since configured Bashed Patch (comes with Wrye Bash mod manager) to increase the arrow litter count from 15 to 100 and the time till they fade away from 90 seconds to 10 minutes. Gives me the opportunity to feather enemies like pincushions and plenty of time to examine the corpses and position them for screenshots!

Hope you find the screenies as hilarious as I do!

Cool stuff, but if you really want to impress some people try thinking outside the box. (Using other ideas than mildly humorous arrow penetration wounds on fallen enemies.)

[H8Ball]

Mildly humorous? I was cracking up and so were my friends and family!

I'm well aware that arrow shots are ten a penny and we've seen them all before, so I try to "liven" them up a bit. The humour is supposed to come from the captions (i.e. what I was thinking at the time) when read in context with the otherwise boring pictures. Maybe these will tickle your funny bone into action?

The first of my new "Jokes" series of deliberately-set-up shots (you requested "out of the box", so here it is)...

You just can't get the staff nowadays...

And another two from the "Marksman" series...

Safety awareness in the workplace...
The problem with outdoor photography is...

The second one is the nearest I could get to capturing the unusual random AI "glitch" that followed. I sat watching in stunned silence as he continued up and OVER, so I missed the opportunity for a second (even better) screenshot! I'd quicksaved about 10 seconds before taking the first screenshot but, no matter how many times I reloaded, the "glitch" just wouldn't repeat itself.

The Sheep "Dog": Outside Skingrad, at the Grateful Pass Stables, I've several times watched as the same sheep (a Ram) dashes up to the city gate then stands there as if waiting to be let in. Someone's pet, maybe? It once dashed right under my horse between its back and front legs! By the time I realised what was happening, the moment was over, so I didn't get a screenshot...

[Drethelis]

Mildly humorous? I was cracking up and so were my friends and family!

I'm well aware that arrow shots are ten a penny and we've seen them all before, so I try to "liven" them up a bit. The humour is supposed to come from the captions (i.e. what I was thinking at the time) when read in context with the otherwise boring pictures. Maybe these will tickle your funny bone into action?

The first of my new "Jokes" series of deliberately-set-up shots (you requested "out of the box", so here it is)...

You just can't get the staff nowadays...

And another two from the "Marksman" series...

Safety awareness in the workplace...
The problem with outdoor photography is...


The second one is the nearest I could get to capturing the unusual random AI "glitch" that followed. I sat watching in stunned silence as he continued up and OVER, so I missed the opportunity for a second (even better) screenshot! I'd quicksaved about 10 seconds before taking the first screenshot but, no matter how many times I reloaded, the "glitch" just wouldn't repeat itself.

The Sheep "Dog": Outside Skingrad, at the Grateful Pass Stables, I've several times watched as the same sheep (a Ram) dashes up to the city gate then stands there as if waiting to be let in. Someone's pet, maybe? It once dashed right under my horse between its back and front legs! By the time I realised what was happening, the moment was over, so I didn't get a screenshot...

They're pretty cool looking. The first one made me chuckle a bit. The second two not so much, guess I just don't have a sense of good marksmanship

If you'd like to see some of my antics, check out the Armand Christophe vs. Cheese and Glarthir's Worst Nightmare threads. True genius in action, if you ask me ;D

[H8Ball]

Only a chuckle? How about this screenshot, taken in Derelict Mine not far East of Skingrad?

Sharptooth Goblins at their weekly Alcoholics Anonymous meeting

I think the poor little guys are getting depressed because, at Level 35, I'm visiting JUST to use 'em as practice dummies.

[Redguard_Master]

I love those drink themselves to death goblins. Saved me the time.

[H8Ball]

Wondering how the Goblins got IN the barrel? Well, I LIFTED them in, courtesy of the Realistic Forces mod. This allows you to lift/carry most corpses (by the thigh) and even throw them around! My favourite mini-game now is corpse-piling & posing, so I'll upload more screenshots as I come up with zany ideas.

Here are the two earlier screenshots I took (in sequence) while attempting to "pose" the Goblins. I wasn't satisfied with the results, but I've added captions and uploaded them anyway:-

1. Now THAT's a party trick!
2. Behave or you'll BOTH be thrown out!

And I just couldn't resist this one from yesterday... Odd how I'm TRYING to create deliberate "set-ups" and the game goes and generates a spontaneous one for me! I fast travel to a Daedric shrine while on horseback, and I'm suddenly...

Praying my horse will stop... (spot the pun)

Note: As you can see, I'm using the MD Saddlebags mod. Also, the high-res textures are courtesy of Qarl's Texture Pack III Redimized (QTP3R), with Redimized meaning Reduced & Optimized top suit 512Mb video cards (full-blown QTP3 requires a 1Gb PCI-E card but mine is a 512Mb AGP 8x Geforce 7900GS). I just installed QTP3R a few days ago, along with Improved Trees & Flora (ITF). The difference is truly amazing, with Oblivion now looking near photo-realistic and for only 2~3fps loss!

Am I the only one posting screenshot links here? Come on folks, let's see some funnies!

[AnnaMolly]

Started a new character over my first that got.. erm.. man-glitched from Vampirism. So I'm redoing the Recommendation quest, and while looking for Adrienne in Skingrad's Mages Guild, I watched a man come out of his room, go into the room next door and lay down with another man. Not out of the ordinary these days, but it made me giggle a bit.

[KrisCrash]

The random corpse positions never fail to amuse me.
What is this Xivilai doing?
http://kriscrash.dk/art/2010/jun/xivilai.jpg

[Veck]

I was messing around with physics, and I threw a pumpkin at Betto Plottius when he was in the middle of a conversation. Just as it hit him, he did that really stupid line where they shout "No!!!" at the top of their voice when someone tells them a Bosmer fell down the stairs and broke his leg or something. I throw the pumpkin at him again, and he shouts that "Snowman" line at me. So then I slipped on 100% chameleon, Shadowrend'd him and the guards ran round his body staring at the pumpkin. I doubt anyone else finds it funny bit I was cracking up. Shows the funny things that you get from randomly doing strange things.

[Redguard_Master]

Well wouldn't you be confused? "How did a pumpkin kill him?" Another guard asks, "Hey anyone else ever wonder how we can eat an entire 5 pound pumpkin in one bite?"

[H8Ball]

Here are a few more things that might tickle your funny bones:-

More of my screenshots...

Honestly, KEEP the arrow, I have plenty!
When an adventurer's job gets boring...

And some results of Googling for [oblivion +humour]...

A great cartoon.

A series of Youtube videos, showing what CAN be achieved with the TES Construction Set when you have WAY too much spare time on your hands. Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3 and Episode 3 Remake.

Have fun!

[undead182]

walked into anvil and cloned myself 5 times, then set a bounty of 10K on each clone. guard then proceded to run up to the clones, draw weapons, then walk away. they wouldnt attack... so i then went up to a clone and sliced at one and then a massive battle ensued with 5 of my clones vs all the guards...

EDIT: also has anyone else every thought that if you look at the map of cyrodill it looks like a dragons head?

[Redguard_Master]

A little bit now that you mention it.