Great quotes

Dogmantra · Post by **Dogmantra** » Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:04 am

Blue the Thief wrote:Xkcd

You Fiend! I'm telling Randall!

You did forget my favourite xkcd strips, so here they are

Teinaava · Post by **Teinaava** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 2:10 am

A conversation between Dr. Weird and Steve from Aqua Teen Hunger Force:

Dr. Weird: Gentlemen, chop off my head with such velocity, that my blood will rocket through my neck and propel my lifeless body all the way to Phoenix!

Steve: Wow...heh...what's in Phoenix?

Dr. Weird: Why it's your mama, Steve! Get the axe!

Blue the Thief · Post by **Blue the Thief** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 2:17 am

Dogmantra wrote:
Blue the Thief wrote:Xkcd
You Fiend! I'm telling Randall!

You did forget my favourite xkcd strips, so here they are

I only like the wikipedia one of those 3

Blue the Thief · Post by **Blue the Thief** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 4:01 am

"and now to take a shot in the psychological dark"

From this comic

Kestral · Post by **Kestral** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 6:54 am

Blue the Thief wrote:"and now to take a shot in the psychological dark"

From this comic

They have many a great quote in those comics...

(Read it all)

Blue the Thief · Post by **Blue the Thief** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 8:06 am

almost all of the comics have a great line

KJR1012 · Post by **KJR1012** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 12:16 pm

"I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstockings, I mean, what would the children look like?"

--Pinky

The Most Unholy · Post by **The Most Unholy** » Thu Nov 27, 2008 10:48 pm

Well, a few ones from history,

When the Persians came to the Spartans demanding soil and water as a sign of surrender, they threw them down a well and suggested they "Dig it out for yourselves."

Then, at the time of Phillip II of Macedon, he sent a message to the Spartans saying: "If I win this war, you will be slaves forever." This provoked the one word response from the ephors, "If."

After an Athenian accused the Spartan Plistoanax of being ignorant, he agreed by saying, "What you say is true, we have learned none of your evil ways."

Then, quite simply, one of my favorites of all time: "Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you." His reply: "You lose."

Тeatime · Post by **Тeatime** » Fri Nov 28, 2008 1:47 pm

A few quotes from V for Vendetta, a masterpiece.

V: I can assure you I mean you no harm.
Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey Hammond: Oh. Right.
V: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
[carves V into poster on wall]
V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
[giggles]
V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
Evey Hammond: Are you like a crazy person?
V: I am quite sure they will say so.

V: A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.

V: People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

satan_n_stuff · Post by **satan_n_stuff** » Fri Nov 28, 2008 1:59 pm

This one's from No-one lives forever 2
From a guardpost in Siberia.

“To: All Personnel

Addendum 90/C-4 of the Personal Hygiene & Fitness Manual (volume 7, page 3,483) stipulates a daily ration of 18 cigarettes per soldier. Exceeding this allowance is punishable by death, unless the cigarettes are stolen (which is punishable by torture and death) or given freely by a comrade (punishable by torture but not by death). Failure to meet the 18 cigarette quota is also punishable by death.

You are being watched.”

And from NOLF 1:

“I have posted photographs of agents Lawrie and Archer on the bulletin board. Study them carefully. If you fail to recognize the subjects, I'll assume something is wrong with your eyes and remove them for you. - D.V.”

Dark Spark · Post by **Dark Spark** » Fri Nov 28, 2008 5:29 pm

KJR1012 wrote:"I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstockings, I mean, what would the children look like?"

--Pinky

"I think so, Brain, but it's a miracle that this one grew back!" (clutches his foot)

The King · Post by **The King** » Fri Nov 28, 2008 7:05 pm

Vargon wrote:"Life is merely a sexually-transmitted disease which ultimately results in death." My maths teacher says that, but he probably got it from someone else.

A tad gloomy.

Wolf · Post by **Wolf** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:40 am

I did say that I was only going to be on for yesterday, but while I was reading my PMs I came across a thread that I have been waiting for for some time. I believe my posting will be limited here.

"Often times the best gifts are also the worst curses. Pain is a terrible thing to have inflicted upon someone, but it teaches one how to appreciate the absence of it. There are, however, those of us to which the lesson came too late. We are able to appreciate the concept of absence, but we will never again be able to feel such relief."

- A local to the forums

n0va · Post by **n0va** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 6:45 am

"Hunger is the great equalizer."

It's true.

Dogmantra · Post by **Dogmantra** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 9:25 am

It had to be said:

"But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake"

"That was the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero."

"If you love it so much, why don't you marry it?"

"I invited all your friends, your best friend, the weighted companion cube couldn't come, because you murdered him."

"It says right here on your file 'Unlikable: Liked by no-one'"

All from GLaDOS

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:51 pm

The King wrote:
Vargon wrote:"Life is merely a sexually-transmitted disease which ultimately results in death." My maths teacher says that, but he probably got it from someone else.

A tad gloomy.

i like it

here are some blackadder quotes:

"Ah, Blackadder. Started talking to yourself, I see."
"Yes...it's the only way I can be assured of intelligent conversation."
- Melchett and Edmund

As a reward, Baldrick, take a short holiday...did you enjoy it?
- Edmund

"Madam, without you, life was like a broken pencil...pointless."
- EB to Queen

Queen: [smiles, a bit turned on] Oh, Edmund... I do love it when you get cross. Sometimes I think about having you executed just to see the expression on your face...

PR: I die. I hope men will say of me that I did duty by my country.
B: I think that's pretty unlikely sir. If I was you I'd try for
something a bit more realistic.
- The Prince's dying words to Baldrick

"Is there any particular area you'd like us to go for? We can aim anywhere..."
"...Well, in that case...just above the top of my head might be a good spot..."
- EB to firing squad

"I think I'll write my tombstone - Here lies Edmund Blackadder, and he's bloody annoyed."
- Edmund

i know there are much more and better ones than these, but it will do for now

r · Post by r » Sat Nov 29, 2008 2:09 pm

"I have a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel" <- best Blackadder quote.

Caz · Post by **Caz** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 2:13 pm

"Baldrick, You wouldn't know a cunning plan if it painted itself purple and danced on top of a mandolin singing 'cunning plans are here again'" (Blackadder)

Тeatime · Post by **Тeatime** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 2:23 pm

"It felt glorious. It felt horrific. It was torture and bliss, living and dying all at once."

"Rather shut up the person than the door." < Said by my philosophy teacher after he made a group of people outside our classroom go completely silent.

"I couldn't find my calculator, I did find my sandwich though." < Economics teacher this time XD

Guy No. 2 · Post by **Guy No. 2** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:01 pm

The Dark Knight wrote:Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Not sure if this one has been said but I'm pretty sure it hasn't from my little skim over the other pages.

Dogmantra · Post by **Dogmantra** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:22 pm

I can't remember who it's from, but it's from a generally sub-par sitcom... this was a real gem though:

"It may shock you to know that every word in your book has been published before! Perhaps you've read..." *unveils book* "The DICTIONARY!"

The King · Post by **The King** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:39 pm

Dogmantra wrote:I can't remember who it's from, but it's from a generally sub-par sitcom... this was a real gem though:

"It may shock you to know that every word in your book has been published before! Perhaps you've read..." *unveils book* "The DICTIONARY!"

Good one!!!

r · Post by r » Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:49 pm

"You really are as thick as some clot that's been left out to become so clotted that it couldn't be un-clotted even with an electrified un-clotting machine, aren't you?" - Blackadder again.

"Smell my cheese, you mother!" - Alan Partridge

More from the latter...

Alan - "I was reading the book of Genesis the other day and I've got to say, that bloody snake! Grr!"
Gordon - "So you wouldn't have been prone to temptation then, Alan?"
Alan - "No, I think I'd be more pre-occupied with the fact that I was encountering a talking snake, I think whether or not I wanted an apple would be irrelevant"

Sheepbiter · Post by **Sheepbiter** » Sun Nov 30, 2008 2:20 am

"3 Cheers for Binary,, 001!!!! 001!! 001!!!!!" me in the middle of a crowded internet Cafe.

The Edgy Redguard · Post by **The Edgy Redguard** » Sun Nov 30, 2008 4:49 am

Conversation from Battlefield: Bad Company

Sweetwater: Wouldn't it be easier to do it the other way?

Haggard: Let's split into teams and do it seperatly.

Sgt Redford: Or, i could shoot you both and do it with Marlowe

Sweetwater: Uhh, i like your first way the best...