Elder scrolls perfectionist disorder

[xGoldenrose]

Hi....I don't know if anyone still plays Oblivion or not, but regardless I just want to explain an issues for me regarding Oblivion (Well, Elder Scrolls in general). No...Not a glitch, but like a personal problem (lol?)

Lets just say, I have a severe case of ESPD (Elder scrolls perfectionist disorder)

Ok, for example I start a new game.
1) If the rats or goblins attack me before I block, I get annoyed
2) If I shoot an arrow and miss, I get annoyed
3) If I cast a spell and miss my target, I get annoyed

overall, If I do a mistake its an immediate turn off that makes me wanna start a new game. Because of this, I have probably made over 10000 accounts, only 2 being truly successfull....(Embarrasing lol)
However, if I do play for a while I forget about it..

As a result, the only account I've gotten far with was this imperial warrior (I know, mediorce AF), that got to level 38. However......I forgot to back up and when I only had a save and when I thought of creating a new game, THE NEW SAVE GAME OVERWROTE THAT SAVE FILE (*slow clap*)

ALSOO, I have this serious roleplaying problems..

For example, I play as a good hero. However, after playing awhile I become evil (LOL). Not really a problem, but it justs shows how i suck d at rp
(When I was playing that warrior imperial, I was trying to be that ''Good hero character''' if you know what I mean. However, I ended up being getting to silencer in db, killed like 10 innocent people (For quest reasons), and finished all the daedric shrine quests (10/10 roleplaying..)

Can anyone relate to this? Or am I insane..
Yeah, probably insane

[Tingz0r]

I strongly suggest you go see a doctor about obsessive compulsive disorder. I get a little peeved when I fail to keep NPCs alive or when I don't complete a quest as perfect as it can be, but what I just read is a little disturbing.

[Golden Sinner]

Welcome to the forum!

I've played one character for over 700 hours at max difficulty and he's never died, so I guess that makes me some level of a perfectionist.

Your problem seems to be that you want your beginning level character to play like a really capable player. You have to work to get that. I don't start at the beginning because I've done the tutorial. I have a start point that I don't save over where I can begin a new character at the exit to the sewer. I then go grind up a character that I want to play for 20 hours or so. After you have invested that much time, you won't want to lose him/her. Your character ultimately does really well (perfect) depending on how well you think things out and execute. So teach yourself to do that to a level of perfection while you are grinding.

If you want to explore a good character who goes bad, the game actually has a way to erase all of your character's infamy later. I started the above character as a brute who won Arena champion before becoming a hero. Good luck!

[legoless]

I mostly contain my perfectionist streak to the tutorial dungeon. After that it becomes far too much effort.

[Crawldragon]

Trying to roleplay a perfect character is a contradiction People aren't perfect; not even if they're lizard men from Scape Ore Swamp. Really interesting characters from legend and fiction are not perfect. Even Superman isn't really a perfect character. The decisions you make should be allowed to influence your character and help them grow, not cause you to sharply tug on their leash and go back to the starting point.

If you're frustrated that you don't manage to block on time or you miss an arrow, that's fine. Use it as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes rather than letting yourself dwell on it. If your character deviates from The One True Path, that's growth and character development to be encouraged rather than squashed. What you're describing is extremely unhealthy and self-destructive behavior. You're expecting godlike abilities from a mortal, limited human being: of your character and, as an extension, yourself. If you get really frustrated just take a deep breath, remind yourself it's only a video game, and either push through or take a break. If your characters have any strength whatsoever, they would do the same. If you made it up to level 38 without dying once, that's a great accomplishment, and you can continue to be great regardless of your mistakes if you allow yourself to be.

Getting away from roleplaying for a second, I have a high score on my favorite pinball machine for over five million points. That was not easy to do. I haven't been able to come close to that since. I have the capability to wipe my locally-stored high scores table and simply start anew, but I'm not going to do that, because that high score represents a standard for me to strive toward. Rather than expecting myself to be perfect every time, I expect myself to always push forward toward perfection, because you can't learn from your mistakes and grow stronger if you immediately brand yourself a failure and ragequit because of them.

I know I'll never be perfect; I may not even be the best on Earth. But no one can torture me more effectively than I can myself, because I have twenty-five years, one week, six days, fourteen hours, and twenty-nine minutes of practice. I will always have that voice in my head reminding me of past mistakes. That voice can go [&@%!] itself. What I've done in the past is not immaterial, but what I can do about it now to learn from it and repair any damages is what really matters.

Give your characters a chance, man. They might impress you. And they should, because they came from you And you'll be awesome someday if you put your mind to it.

[ParanoidAndroid]

Can relate to the OP, although to a lesser degree. TLDR: you should play other games.

What helped for me was playing through Skyrim (or Morrowind) for about 100 hours. After that completing Witcher 3, which took me over 300 hours because I finished every quest.

After that, I missed the first person mode of Oblivion, the way you can hoard and store everything you find in various houses and the guild quests which are missing in the Witcher and less fleshed out in TES6. This rekindled my interest in Oblivion.

[ZeRoc]

Dang, Crawl, I can relate whole heartedly, though replace Pinball with Star Fox 64 (or I think it was called Lylat Wars in UK). I am a perfectionist, much like the OP. In Skyrim I can fly through Bleak Falls Barrow, knowing every bit of treasure worth nabbing, knowing that I can kill the restless draugr just past where Arvel dies by tricking him into the gate. I've done the same countless times to other draugr by shooting the pressure plate with arrows. I was basically the same in Oblivion, and in Morrowind I have a set schedule of how to do every quest in Seyda Neen most efficiently, and feel frustrated when something throws off my groove.

So yeah, while the OP maaaay be a bit crazy, he's certainly not the only one.

[Imbalance]

Psh! If I launch the game and the disk drive doesn't make the right noise I have to start all over.

[Dave Allen]

Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick worked reload

[SeaGtGruff]

Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick broke reload
Lockpick worked reload

I can definitely relate to that!

[Squalor]

Me too !
If there's junk in da trunk reload dat funk.

Also, when I level I want to see three +5's No +2 or +3 but JUST three +5's

[CyD]

While I can't relate to your experience now, I remember acting like you as I was much younger.
When playing platform-games I was trying to get the perfect playthrough and constantly resetting when hitted/missed a single optional or so.
I think it has to do with control, maybe we try to get perfection in videogames cause it's not possible outside of them, similar to people building miniatures.
Another thing I remember is playing the start of some games (like Cap.1 in the Secret of Monkey Island) over and over, instead of playing the game to the end. This also has to do with control but there may be also fear of change: when you finish a great game you feel somehow empty, so you just don't and keep playing the beginning, cause it's your comfort-zone.
Do you ever finish your favourite games? I barely do.