Family and Relationship happenings thread

[Aarah]

Aww, congrats, Dohva! He sounds like a little (big!) cutie! I hope you have fun being his cool auntie.

[Musicman247]

I have a daughter, and she is the most amazing, beautiful thing in the world.

[ProphetDragon]

Congratulations.

[MetaCthulhu]

Congrats man.

[leroybrown]

Congrats! May your family have a long healthy and happy life!

[ProphetDragon]

I really need to make a confession extremely quick.

Just to tell others, I am in a love triangle between a girl who for my early years was my older sister Ferrous (she's 19) and my girlfriend Serena (16). My best friend Aegon is a fourth wheel and he and my sister have been very close to each other.

I almost went away from my words and honor. I almost lost my virginity to Ferrous and we had been dating for the last few weeks. Serena seemed to know from the beginning. When she asked me I broke down like an open dam on her, finally apologising to her for what I did. It seems that women have God-gifted abilities.

To my surprise, she forgave me. It feels bad if your girlfriend scolds you for cheating on her but feels worse if she forgives you. It seemed as if she knew how to annoy me.

"Oh Seraph, you need not to feel ashamed. I would have done the same. What you should do now is keep on dating her, fret not for I don't mind. Keep the date going but stay within limits, be slow and steady and after a brief time of wait. Leave her." - She said to me.

Only one girl knows the problem of another, and it is really beneficial to have one so kind. Poor Aegon has no idea we were dating. I wonder how angry he will be when he finds out. Serena's right, I already have a zing of my own age and preference.

[Aarah]

Moved conversation from GD to this thread

I need to do something to stop my little brother's bullying. Three of my friends are always bullied by him. You know when you become an ultimate champion? When you bully a 17 year old being 11 years old yourself. It is news in our home.

"A 17 year old boy is being bullied by an 11 year old kid."

Remember my best friend Aegon, whom I mentioned a few days ago. He is one of my brother's daily targets. Unfortunately there is no escape.

Sometimes bullying is a manifestation of a person's internal pain. I'd talk to your brother and try to find out what's really going on in his life.

Really? You want to consult an 11 year old kid? There's nothing wrong with my little brother, he's just extremely strong and equally intelligent, just like me.

If you come to me then you'll see my best friend (16 years old) cry like a 5 year old before my baby brother.

Look at what he said!:

I'm a champion.

If you don't think your brother is expressing any internal anguish, like Weasel said, then what do you believe his reasons for bullying your friends are?
Trying to be 'cool', trying to fit in with older boys, etc?

I'm sure your brother has more going on than being 'just extremely strong and intelligent'. Outward appearances can mask all sorts of inner emotions.
Or perhaps, like you say, he has no turmoils, and he's just being a horrible kid.
Either way, as his big bro, you could have a chat with him, as bullying can seriously make people's lives a misery and what he's doing is unacceptable.

[ProphetDragon]

It's just because of possession of extreme power. It's just that my best friend is very small in size and easy to be picked on and so the kid teases him. I can't give the kid the same treatment because if I do then hell start to cry.

I've never been bullied ever and neither has my brother. This is why I can't say if you consider this bullying.

[Aarah]

Whatever label you give it, if your brother is constantly causing your friend upset then it's wrong.
There's nothing strong and intelligent about someone picking on someone else, just because that person is smaller or less dominant. In fact, I'd say it is the exact opposite.

[leroybrown]

A lot of people bully others because it's just fun. It's not a nice thing I know, but I think it's just a simple fact.

I'm sure this problem will continue.

[The SheoDovah]

As someone who was bullied a lot at secondary(Think it's High School in America), I can say that bullying is devestating and can rob someone of all their self esteem, not value themselves. Before i was bullied, I focused on work and being smart. I wasn't confident but I think if I hadn't been bullied, I would have grown my confidence. Bullying pretty much destroyed me as a person. No self esteem, no confidence and my education suffered as a result of it. They made me think that not focusing on work was cool and that I had to change myself. Fortunately, I dropped out of it at the end of year 10(due to reasons not related to bullying but rather not say) and from the age of 16, I have literally rebuilt my life. Got friends, got a lot of confidence and self esteem. Bullies ruined my teenage years and made school something I truly dreaded.

This is coming from someone who was bullied every year during the 5 years he was at secondary school. It was fortunate that the situation that prevented me from continuing school came up when it did as I had given up on trying to learn and was resigned to spending the rest of my years at school being bullied.

I don't know if this will help but I felt that if I posted this, this will help to see what effect bullying has on people.

[ProphetDragon]

It's not that simple either and it often makes us laugh. I mean this is how it normally goes:-

We two are just talking and I use the name 'Aegon' for my friend.

"Oh! So is it true 'Aegon'?" The kid just stands behind my friend who somehow is scared to look behind. He is already very scared and my brother just uses wordplay and my friend freaks out. He starts to tremble and call me for help, "Seraph, help me."

My brother never even touches them but yet they all are so afraid of him and his cute stare. Often times he runs and hides behind me.

My friend 'Aegon' for his part is 5'3" and 43 kg. (16 years old and older than me). My brother on the other hand is soon to be 12 and is 5' and 47 kg. My friend is easy to be picked on and gets easily scared. This is why my brother always teases him.

Sad.

[Aarah]

What do you feel that you should do?

[ProphetDragon]

What do you feel that you should do?

I don't know for sooth but I would do nothing.

He (Aegon) is my friend, he might be sure to always count on me and hide behind me for protection, but he must learn that we will not be together forever. He's my best friend and this is why I care for him and want good for him. If he cannot handle a child four years younger than him then he will have no chance of handling himself in college.

I will let him be so that he deals with my brother on his own. And besides, it's hilarious to see it.

[The SheoDovah]

Age doesn't matter with bullies. Some kids can be vicious bullies and bullies like to pick out their targets. If you are different, they will target you. Age doesn't matter. It is worth speaking to your parents about it. Bullying is never funny and whilst it may seem funny, think abut what the victim feels. It may erode their self esteem, confidence etc.. If you think you can talk to him about it, do so. He may not even realise the effect it is having on your friend.

[ProphetDragon]

Me - Little brother, stop picking on him. You know he's a cry baby.
Him - or else what?
Me - I'll tell mommy.
Him - MOMMY, Seraph's scolding me. *runs and hugs mom*

I don't think it's bullying either, it's just a quick wordplay and intimidation. I'll tell my friend to "be a man".

[The SheoDovah]

Me - Little brother, stop picking on him. You know he's a cry baby.
Him - or else what?
Me - I'll tell mommy.
Him - MOMMY, Seraph's scolding me. *runs and hugs mom*

I don't think it's bullying either, it's just a quick wordplay and intimidation. I'll tell my friend to "be a man".

To me, that comes off as bullying. Intimidation is always used by bullies when trying to get something they want and everyone is different. Some are more senstive then others and bullies like to pick on the more sensitive ones.

[ProphetDragon]

Yep that's right and a 16 year old being such a cry baby is not really good is it?

Aegon - Seraph, save me from your brother.
Me - you scare and this is why he scares you.

So embarrassing for a 16 year old to do so.

[The SheoDovah]

There could be other reasons to why he gets upset easily. He could have been bullied other times, could be having other issues and your brother constantly bullying him may be pushing the boundary. As someone that had no self esteem and no confidence at 16, I would have been very easy to upset. Just could be anything that is a factor into why your friend gets upset easily and he may need you to stand up for him. Your brother may back off or not but seeing you stick up for him could raise his spirits.

[ProphetDragon]

That's possible, because he is very small in size and is very weak for his age. All I know is that he hides behind me because he knows I am stronger and I've been his best friend for many years. He was never bullied as long as I was with him.

Do you think I should interfere and stop my brother's threatening?

P.S. I just asked him and he said that he had been bullied before. Honestly I can't say because I've never been bullied but he tells me that my brother is not like them.

[The SheoDovah]

Yes. Intervene. Bullying takes it's toll and your brother may view it as harmless fun but to your friend, it is another bully. By not intervening, it could harm your relationship with him.

[ProphetDragon]

I'm back and so far only one incident: slamming the pillow on the face. My brother as my friend says is 'not a bully but more of a troll, a cave troll'.

I really don't think it's that serious anything. All he does is shout Fus Ro Dah right beside our ears or hit on the head with a pillow or just stand behind. It's rather playing than bullying. Even my friend says that he only plays along because it's funny.

Only sometimes it gets too much and he runs and hides behind me then.

[ProphetDragon]

I don't really think I should do anything. After all it's only wordplay and handplay and power play.

[Dohva.]

I have one for you guys. Just need to rant a bit, I guess. I'm married to a really wonderful man who thinks I should be best friends with his best friend's wife. But she and I do not...NOT...click and we've been visiting at their house for a few days. I'm really trying and I do think she's really trying too, but some things cannot be forced, relationships being one of those things. I honestly don't think she likes me and never has. The reasons why are beyond me and I don't want to go into judgment.

So anyway, my husband and his bff have been off to play sports all day...and they left she and I together. She went out for exercise, I stayed in to write. Hours have passed since she's been home and she's in her room, and I'm in ours. It's really weird. We're all adults...in our 30s...and my husband seems to think that I'm not putting in enough effort. I'll have to work it out with him but honestly, I've tried all I could with this lady and she's seriously not receptive to me. I kinda...don't care anymore. Stopped trying. I've accepted the way things are and yes, it makes me sad because she's a lovely person, but [&@%!] it. I don't need to be anyone's doormat either.

[Aarah]

If you've both tried all you can then there's no point you both sitting in a room together, exchanging awkward pleasantries, if you just don't get on with each other.
As long as you and her are both comfortable with being separate when alone then I don't see the harm. Better than spending hours hating it or continually trying to force something to happen unnaturally.