Family and Relationship happenings thread

[ProphetDragon]

I can't remove her, she lives beside our house and still babysits my little brother. So you suggest that I should ask her to stop being sexual towards me?

Anyways, tomorrow morning after school my parents are going out again and so she will be at my place again. This time I'll try to reject her, let's see how this goes.

I'll update in 14-15 hours. Talos guide us.

[ProphetDragon]

Just a few minutes ago I and Aegon (I did mention him before, he is my best friend/brother) came back from school, my little brother's gone to tuition and so I am here with Aegon. She was here a few minutes ago but she is gone now.

She apologized to me saying "I'm sorry Seraph, I just love you - you are a stepping stone between my brother and my boyfriend. I won't be creeping behind you anymore". Though I am not fully convinced she has stopped but I feel that what I said to her yesterday worked.

I guess you guys were right, and she realized that I am as smart as her. Though I think, had this relation been appropriate if it had been say 5 years later? (I'd be 21 and she over 24).

[ZeRoc]

I'm not sure how much value my input would have, since I have only been in the older person position, though the girl was way more experienced than I. (As a 21 year old, I had never held a girl's hand before, while she may as well have been Ramona from Scott Pilgrim when she was only 18.) It really does come down to comfort levels. As others have said, if you aren't entirely comfortable with where the relationship is going, don't go with it. I would say that, as time goes on, the age differences aren't as important. It seems a lot less weird for a 23 and 20 year old to be going out compared to a 16 and 19, or even an 18 and 21 is kind of borderline on creep-o-meter.

And what's more, don't obsess about this too much. Back in the day I had a pretty major crush on my best friend, who was just a couple months younger than me, and that turned into an obsession that pretty much consumed my Junior and Senior years in high school. (I've since been diagnosed with a form of OCD.) Many on the forums undoubtedly remember the Friend-girl episode of this thread. Thankfully things with her have been glossed over and we are both fine with being just friends.

[ProphetDragon]

It seems she's over her desire for me, and a good thing too. Though she still likes to call me 'cute' and 'hot' and even kiss me. Let's hope it doesn't start again.

Can't believe all this 2 page long fuss was because I couldn't my sister not to fall in love with me.

[Baloth-Kul]

So, one of our chihuahuas is blind in one eye, and seems to have a janked up spine or legs or something along those lines. (She's walking sideways and yelps with pain when picked up, sometimes.) Been ailing for awhile. Unless it's some sort of disease she's suffering from, we're expecting it was something stupid one of my brothers did, or the youngest of my nieces. My niece is 6 years old, so it's understandable for her to not fess up to an accident, but my brothers are nearing 30 years old. If one of them is honestly hiding having injured our dog (whether himself or his own dog), they [&@%!] disgust me.

Even with this incident aside, it's clear to me that I much prefer family chosen vs family born into. Blood is rather meaningless.

[ZeRoc]

Well, hey, you know what they say,"the blood of battle is thicker than the water of the womb"... or something like that.

[Unionhack]

Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

[Crawldragon]

I've been thinking about that phrase a lot, "you don't get to choose your family." You get to choose a part of it, don't you? If you are in a relationship you adopt a part of your family via your partner, especially if you get married. I would never replace the family I currently have, but I would certainly choose to adopt the family of a partner as my own.

I don't think my boyfriend's family really like me, though. I've [&@%!] some things up in the past and now they aren't my biggest fans in the world. Hopefully I'll be able to repair that over time, but you never get a second chance at a first impression. Lesson learned.

[ProphetDragon]

The affair seems to be increasing again, shehas again increased what she used to. It feels weird, am I so irresistible?

Even stranger question, why am I liking this? Why do I want her to continue?

[ZeRoc]

My guess? A mixture of forbidden fruit because of the age thing, plus how humans are typically wired to enjoy someone of their preffered genders affection. Especially if you like the individual doing so. I don't have experience with someone I didn't like doing that, so I can't say too much. Ultimately, age thing aside, if it makes you uncomfortable, make sure that this is clear to her. People often forget that a woman can be the abuser or that men aren't always wanting a go. (So to speak, even if it ain't that far yet.) Just be careful if she tries to take things beyond where you want to go.

[BetaB17]

As ZeRoc said, ppl are wired to be influenced by the attention. It makes you feel good, attractive, needed, and even some times wanted. It doesn't matter if there is an age gap, cultural/ideological difference, a pre-existing commitment, or even a lack of mutual attraction..

Sometimes, just feeling lusted after is enough.. especially for those not accustomed to it. Be they an average high schooler living in the shadow of popularity whom unknowingly caught someone's fancy >_> or a 40+ wife whom just had a young man try and flirt at the local market. Whether you reciprocate the feelings back or not, you feel complimented, empowered, and hell just down right good

Mind ya.. There is a BIG difference between feeling flustered.. And feeling awkward and uncomfortable.(I.e highschool admirer turned creepy stalker or random flirt turned public perv)

I hope that helps supplement the explanation behind why that reaction occurs and is very much natural

[ProphetDragon]

My sister knows me very well (since birth). She's not willing to do anything beyond my comfortability. Even her strangest attempt was comfortable to me. Then since there's no uncomfortable condition, should I let her continue?

The only problem so far is ft that she is 19 and I'm 16. I'm asking you people because firstly you're all io older than me and have met many such incidents. Secondly because you don't know me or my friends thus unaffected by her treatment of me.

[ZeRoc]

I'm gonna have to ask, just for clarification purposes, she's not actually your sister, right? Like, you call her that because she's like a sister to you, yeah?

If you're comfortable with what she's doing, just make sure to not let her go beyond that. And as a general rule, if you don't reciprocate the feelings she has for you, be it lust or actual caring, let her know. You wouldn't want to lead her on, though she could be the one playing the games at this point. Some girls like seeing a guy get flustered just to boost their own ego, but obviously I don't know this girl well enough to say either way.

[Velvet LeChance]

dlt

[Kerr]

I have to add to what other people have said, do not let it go any further. You're still a minor, she isn't. No matter what you might think (for reasons MARS and Velvet have already gotten into) it would be an unhealthy relationship and a bad idea.

[Dohva.]

The affair seems to be increasing again, shehas again increased what she used to. It feels weird, am I so irresistible?

Even stranger question, why am I liking this? Why do I want her to continue?

Please, don't take the following statement to be any insult to you but...she just wants easy prey. Period. A 19 yr old woman is perfectly, perfectly capable of finding boytoys outside of a 16 yr old. This gal sounds like she wants a fun lay for a few weeks or months then BOOM, she's on to someone else. You know what the aftermath will be?

You confused. You dumped. You wondering why she was trying so hard to get in your pants then she moves on to someone else.

She lacks respect for herself. If she's known you since birth, knows you have a gf, knows the age gap (lots of space in maturity levels, too) then she absolutely doesn't give two craps about you or herself. No value for her person or yours.

Send her flying. Tell her NO, that you will not be toyed with like that. Maybe it doesn't bother you because it's amusing. But 10-20 years down the road you'll look back and be upset at her for sexually molesting you. Because that's what she's doing. Maybe someone touched her when she was young. Serious.

[MetaCthulhu]

I have to add to what other people have said, do not let it go any further. You're still a minor, she isn't. No matter what you might think (for reasons MARS and Velvet have already gotten into) it would be an unhealthy relationship and a bad idea.

My dad actually married his first wife when she was 16 (her parents had to sign). That marriage didn't work out, but I think that had to do more with her being certifiably insane (There's literally paperwork) than her young age at the outset.

Send her flying. Tell her NO, that you will not be toyed with like that. Maybe it doesn't bother you because it's amusing. But 10-20 years down the road you'll look back and be upset at her for sexually molesting you. Because that's what she's doing. Maybe someone touched her when she was young. Serious.

Okay, as bad and stupid as this "relationship" actually is, I'm pretty sure they're both over the age of consent (I believe he lives in India. Not sure though) so saying it's molestation is a bit of a stretch. What I'm definitely sure of is that assuming people were sexually abused based on second-hand information from the internet is not right.

ProphetDragon: You already have a girlfriend. Part of being in a relationship is being faithful, and throwing that away for a fling with an older girl is stupid. To quote Kerr, "do not let it go any further".

[MARS]

We've all given our personal opinions and advice on the matter. Very much of it, in fact. Everyone's eagerness to help is appreciated, but we've decided that this topic has run its course for now. Please don't discuss it further, and let Prophet digest all the information given to him. Prophet is free to ask you further questions via PM, but please do not send him unsolicited advice. Thank you.

[ProphetDragon]

Thanks a lot friends, you have helped me a lot. I'll see what I can do. Thanks.

[BetaB17]

From GD: How does it feel to have two individuals sway for your attention? Talking purely from experience here, it's like a hit across the face. Not as bad as being thrown over a fence, mind ya.. But I still prefer the times when I'm neither dumbfounded nor ignorant while trapped within a minefield or between two sharp points.. Can I not just be one the sidelines or take the fence then?

Female friend is over to hang out and go swimming, turn your back and don't look while she changes to a swimsuit underneath for modesty's sake --> get slapped

A different female friend later finds out said 1st friend likes me(unbeknownst to me) --> get slapped just cause

Lesson learned, do nothing wrong and you'll still get slapped. Why can't things ever be simple? ;-;

'Damned if you do. Dammed if you dont'

Why can't I just be tossed over a fence Tsundere style? Is that too much to ask D: (At least then I was asking for it!)

[Baloth-Kul]

^-Unclear if simile of getting slapped transitioned into literally getting slapped-. Uh, if anyone -is- actually hitting you for not doing or saying the right thing, they're an [&@%!].

Be decisive. If you have zero interest in either of them, tell them. If you want to try things out with one of them, tell them. If you're uncertain, tell them. It'll be easier on all of you in the long run. And people either respect being up front with them, or if they don't...well, they're an [&@%!].

[Dohva.]

LOL Beta, Beta, Beta. Two girls fighting over you? Aye, you handsome devil!

[ProphetDragon]

LOL Beta, Beta, Beta. Two girls fighting over you? Aye, you handsome devil!

Same for me. One is 19.5 and the other 16.5, I'm 16.

[BetaB17]

@Baloth: 6 years too late to change any of that It's old news. Though to be perfectly honest, The first instance was a good 'wake up call' for someone so thick in head, the 2nd was just uncalled for

@Dohva: Handsome? I don't know so much about that. Charming and charismatic? I can't argue with that.

Tho still, at no point do I consider it lucky to have more than one suitor to be aware of(It's happened at least twice more. Just my luck right)

[Dohva.]

Our first nephew was born two days ago, weighing in at a whopping 9 lbs! Omg, he's so adorable (little ginger baby). Eeek!