Your favorite quotes from other users.

[MARS]

Running is usually pretty quick.

[Pilaf The Defiler]

By God, I got mad the other day. I bought a burger from the little self serve kiosk at work under the premise it was a "bacon addicts burger". I get it microwaved and what do I find? Communist false roundbacon. I weep for our future.

just stop

Life is fleeting. I'll be done soon enough. But for those who dislike my observations - eighty years of hell is guaranteed. And I'll sleep like a baby each and every night.

[Wolfborn]

I'm starting a weeks holiday from work as of today so that's nice. Now I have more hours in the morning to stare blankly at the ceiling as the existential dread sets in.

[VirtualWeasel]

By God, I got mad the other day. I bought a burger from the little self serve kiosk at work under the premise it was a "bacon addicts burger". I get it microwaved and what do I find? Communist false roundbacon. I weep for our future.

just stop

Life is fleeting. I'll be done soon enough. But for those who dislike my observations - eighty years of hell is guaranteed. And I'll sleep like a baby each and every night.

And deeper into the crests of madness you will fall. Surely, we will greet each other in hell, toting equally plentiful but unequally delicious baskets of cured meats.

[ZeRoc]

:

[@AlphaAbsol]: finally joined this guild xD
[@Fullerton]: You're here!
[@F-Lambda]: welcome
[@AlphaAbsol]yup
[@Rubinato]: we've been waiting for you
[@AlphaAbsol]: have you? xD
[@ZeRoc]:*spins around, petting a cat in his lap*
[@Fullerton]: Suddenly, the welcoming smiles have a sinister glow to them
[@AlphaAbsol]: Oh dear
[@Fullerton]: Many hands reach forward...
[@ZeRoc]: Wait, is this not the one we were... um... never mind.
[@AlphaAbsol]:am I being sacrificed?
[@AlphaAbsol]: is this normal for new recuits? xD
[@F-Lambda]:not anymore
[@AlphaAbsol]: oh good
[@ZeRoc]: HR has been on our backs about that...
[@Fullerton]: Yeah, I've never seen the point of "human" relations
[@F-Lambda]: not what I meant; him specifically not anymore
[@FAdamsXII]:Yeah, you toss a few people into a volcano and they get all [&@%!]
[@AlphaAbsol]:HR can be annoying
[@FAdamsXII]:No sense of humor whatsoever

[BetaB17]

Yes. Skyrim isn't actually out, people still think rage comics and image macro memes are funny, and Bill Cosby is considered respectable

GG

[Wolfborn]

Please, I have enough problem as is, I don't need demons from the 90s singing a song about me through a haunted cassette tape.

[MARS]

Favorite Mars quotes, go.

"Quick! He's alseep! Let's all break into his place and bake Bundt cakes    set up his toys in a defensive line around his bed    break open the Ninth Seal and set loose the Eater of Worlds!    watch The Craft— I've got the DVD and some long-suppressed memories of the 1990's!    steal stuff?"

[BetaB17]

That's a good looking car you've got there.
And I see it matches your font colour.

Hidden:

yo listen up here's the story
about a little guy that lives in a blue world
and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue
like him, inside and outside
blue, his house with the blue little window
and a blue corvette
and everything is blue for him
and himself
and everybody around
'cause he ain't got nobody to listen
I'M BLUE DA BA DEE DA BA DAA

Bless you VW, just bless you and your blueness

[Velvet LeChance]

This is art.

Hidden:

In a remarkable turn of events, the Stormcloaks have decided that the civil war probably isn't going to be solved with a series of minor skirmishes over fortresses and instead have decided to hold a referendum on whether Skyrim should secede from the Empire. Ulfric Stormcloak led the Vote Leave campaign, known for its tagline 'We Want Our Province Back' to a victory of 52% of the votes.

This has sent shockwaves across the whole of Tamriel. In the midst of plummeting currency values and trade, and a huge spike in civil unrest, Jarl Ulfric has said it's all fine because we have our province back.

Jarl Ulfric will remain a fringe figure though, as Jarl Rogdgdgulf the Adequate of Solitude has accepted the mantle of High King of Skyrim. Rogdgdgulf in fact campaigned for Skyrim to remain in the Empire but then became High King because no-one else wanted to, before having a sudden change of heart and telling the Empire exactly where it could shove its White-Gold Concordat.

A Forsworn leader said that there was going to be a second independence referendum for the Reach, adding that he hoped the people of the Reach didn't balls it up and choose the wrong answer this time.

Meanwhile, back in Solitude, Jarl Rogdgdgulf has confirmed that the East Empire Company will keep their Solitude operation running, and therefore nothing bad will ever happen to anyone ever again. A spokesman for the East Empire Company denied reports that they have been receiving 'bungs' from the Jarl.

In Windhelm, a town with a large Dark Elf population, civil unrest is peaking as the Nords keep telling the Dark Elves to go back to Dark Elf land. A cataclysmic volcanic eruption in Morrowind caused by a shadowy figure known only by his codename of 'Greg Keyes' recently destroyed the province. This upset many people and was widely considered to be a bad move. Refugees arriving in Windhelm from Morrowind have found themselves being made to feel unwelcome. In a more civilised and educated town (Winterhold) an expert pointed out that you couldn't really blame the Dark Elves for a natural disaster, and that we should be offering them refuge rather than persecuting them, but no-one would listen to him.

A local Nord in Windhelm, Bjorn Bloodaxe Bjornsson, told us - "It's disgraceful, these Dark Elves coming over here, with their knowledge and their craftsmanship. I think they should go back to where they came from"

We asked a Dark Elf in Morrowind about this, who said - "It's like all the Argonians and Khajiit that come over here, with their skills, stealing all our jobs that we're too bone-idle to do ourselves. I think they should go back to where they came from"

We asked an Argonian about this, who said - "It's like the Imperials arriving in the Niben basin, with their civilisation and their technology. I think they should go back to where they came from"

We asked an Imperial about this, who said - "It's like the Elves coming over here from the Summerset Isle, with the basis for our entire language and culture. I think they should go back to where they came from"

We asked a High Elf about this, who said - "It's like when Akatosh first arrived in our mortal plane - our mortal plane - coming over here, creating everything that exists and leaving behind the oldest and grandest building in Tamriel for us to clear up. I think the Divines should go back to where they came from"

Meanwhile, the Bretons have opened up exit negotiations with Skyrim with the phrase "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

[BetaB17]

Bwahahahahahahah XD hold up hold up hold up, let me hold my ribs together before I bust a gut XD

[MARS]

The true Lord has no name, but He has many names: God, Allah, Yahweh, Brahma, Elohim, Spirit, Divinity, The Absolute, Science, Erú Illuvatar, Anár and many more. But all are one and same.

You forgot Susan Ivanova.

[BetaB17]

*mutters under breath about why circle skirts are still stylish*

[AKB]

Amazing! Truly worth all of the UESP Premium subscription money going into Aarah's account! I am not bitter in the least bitt!

[MetaCthulhu]

I've only done tree stuff so far. Maybe I'll give this Hunger Games business a rest and become a dendrologist instead.

It kind of makes sense, what with you being a toucan and all.

[Cassandra]

Nanza x Believe wasn't shot down... they died together.

Also, for the record, what scared me off was his refusal to bathe. Something about me not being his mother, so I just left.

I appreciate everything about this post.

[Aarah]

I like to think that receiving an explosive from an unknown sponsor is just another way of saying that someone is hiding and lobbing grenades at you.

[BetaB17]

Well I know you fellows can't help it but be awesome, and I can't help but want to shower you two in points. Interpret that as you wish

:

[Wolfborn]

Well, are you going to bake anything for UESP?

Well? I could bake up some [&@%!] to give, but I can't be bothered to even try

Glazed or Sugared?

Everyone knows if you're going to have [&@%!] they have to be glazed. And you have to eat them while they're hot so the glaze is still nice and drippy.

I go away for a couple of days and have to come back to talk of glazed, drippy [&@%!].

[Dirty Spaceman]

BL: More or less. The plan is for you to follow Philip's moves and sneak around, be careful not to make a sound.

[AKB]

Hey AKB, it's me.

Thank you for your constant reminders that you are you, MARs. I may become delusional otherwise and think it's not you, otherwise.

Idiot.

You're welcome.

By the way this message was written by MARS, and posted by MARS

- MARS

[Crawldragon]

Everyone knows if you're going to have [&@%!] they have to be glazed. And you have to eat them while they're hot so the glaze is still nice and drippy.

I'm torn between being happy that I got a quote in this thread and ashamed that this is the joke that finally did it, but I'm glad some of my fellow Krispy Kreme fans enjoyed this one, especially MARS.

[AKB]

Remember when Homestuck killed Egoraptor Johnson with a failed dance move
good times

[BetaB17]

When you randomly click on a profile and spot this in their status(You know who you are)

Reading Prequel (and it's all Beta's fault).

Mmmmmhm, you're damn right it is.

Btw, have I ever told you about Homestuck

[Crawldragon]

Prequel is better than Homestuck.

That's right, I said it.