Family and Relationship happenings thread

[Musicman247]

Aw man, congratulations! And good luck. If you can take care of all of us juvenile forumgoers, I'm sure you'll make a fine parent!

@Rook: No, don't you remember? He's doing the one-letter-off-his-own-name thing. It's a good thing Stove is a unisex name!

Actually, Mrs. Musicman says its name is going to be Weven.

[Kerr]

Late, I know, but congrats on the baby.

[Dohva.]

I'm expecting a child in June. Life is changing forever.

It's definitely a good change, though. Except privacy...what's that again?

I'm super happy for you guys. Do you know what sex yet? Or is it still too early?

[Musicman247]

I'm expecting a child in June. Life is changing forever.

It's definitely a good change, though. Except privacy...what's that again?

I'm super happy for you guys. Do you know what sex yet? Or is it still too early?

We will know on Feb. 11. Have an appointment with a sonogram specialist!

[Norva]

My girlfriend of over 8 years (and friends for a while before that too), about half of that living together, left me a couple months ago for her "just a" friend, and is now likely going to move half way across the country to live with him despite only meeting him in person back in December. I feel totally wrecked right now, and it doesn't help that she is trying to force me to pay the rest of the lease of the apartment we lived in. I feel just totally gutted. She's the only real relationship I have ever had, since meeting in high school. I was never in doubt she was the one. It's an awful feeling.

I am not really asking for advice, just ranting and letting it out. It's been a painful few months for me and this is the icing on the :censored: cake.

[Rezalon]

There was something here, but I removed it for reasons.

[MARS]

Hate to say it, but yeah. You're 18. I've had that feeling at 16, then had it again at 18, and then again at 19, until I realized that I'm personally better off on my own. Without the perspective of age, you really can't imagine how long, and how abrupt life can be. It could be that your relationship, in whatever form, endures until you both die, but in my experience; not the case. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try it out. In regards to doing that, don't say "you're the love of my life," under any circumstances. This isn't a philosophical thing, I can just 100% guarantee you that that will not work out in any direction.

Ask if she wants to spend some time together, go on dates, see how things are, remember to communicate and make your feelings clear to each other. That way things are a lot more easy and pleasant. Personal advice is to use the word "love" sparingly, if at all. Getting yourself caught up in a maelstrom of whats and ifs just because of a definition the human hivemind likes to give to the concept is just going to make everybody have a harder time.

[all_freed]

Well it's not unheard of of people to get attached to someone for years even decades. It just doesn't seem pragmatic and it sounds like part of you knows it too. I hope you're not only want to move to Aussie cause of her. And breaking up with people cause they're not her means you'll never get a partner if you don't get her. It's tough say and even tougher to hear but she's right when she said a long distance relationship can be detrimental.nlook what it has done.

I say with with the best of intention and based on what you told us but you must learn to love yourself first by making money to live a decent life. Then you just got to find a stable relationship, that's where years of dating comes in. it's easy to fall in love with someone and have a cozy picture in your head but if one or both find out too late that they can't stand living with each other then things get problematic.

Oh and no rush. You still got many decades to go so finding a gf or bf isnt the top priority.

[Baloth-Kul]

Protip for life; when someone you care about is in a bad place, and is raring for a fight with you...refuse to give them one. Defuse it. Okay X, I know you're in a bad place right now, but I'm going to advise you; walk away. I will sit here and listen to whatever you have to say, but know that you shouldn't. Not because I'm refusing to listen or that I don't want to hear it, but because I don't want you to say something you'll regret. We're friends, and you know I respect you highly. I'm not angry. Go get yourself out of your funk. We'll hug it out tomorrow.

Refuse to give them a fight, because if you lash out too, you'll just hurt eachother and your relationship. But if it's a recurring thing, and they aren't seeking help for any issues they might have and refuse to compromise, stand up for yourself. Friends are not punching bags.

[BetaB17]

Welp, seems like I'm making plans for a movie date some time this week

At 3 I got a mesage from an old friend(& unofficial lil sis) wanting to talk n all that. 6 hours later.. she confessed, after 7 years of knowing each other, she still has a rush on me Hehe.. well.. That was a shocker. I mean, early on we both 'secretly' had crushes on one another, hence Big bro/lil sis relationship. But I never thought it lasted this long

So yep.. movies, dinner(by yours truly), some time this week(or next)

[Kerr]

So I came out to my mam as transgender/genderfluid tonight and it went really well. Way better than I though it would. I didn't think it would go kick me out of the house bad but I expected things to go way worse. Problems might arise in the future, we'll see, but her only real concern was that I'd be discriminated against, face prejudice, etc. Which yeah, that will happen.

I know my dad's going to take it poorly but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, I have a much better relationship with my mam than my dad anyway. For now I'm pretty happy because I was really anxious about doing this and it went better than I could have expected.

[Aarah]

Congrats, Kerr. That's great. Must be a huge relief for you, and must not have been easy.
Good luck with your Dad. Hope it goes better than you expect it to.

[BetaB17]

Good on you Kerr! Glad to know many of those worries were for naught

[ZeRoc]

I'm expecting a child in June. Life is changing forever.

Just rediscovering this thread, and this explains why MM hasn't been on lately. Congrats Steve!

My relationship status is single. Just got off a pretty toxic relationship, which is a great first real relationship, obviously. I'm doing alright, I was crushed pretty hard, and the next day is when I came back here. Fittingly enough, a couple days later, the friend-girl of old came for a visit. I'm totally over her in a romantic sense, but it's worth remembering that she was also my best friend back then. Helped ground myself after it all happened. Anyway, I missed y'all. UESP is a pretty good thing to go to on the rebound.

[MARS]

That's good stuff, Kerr. I hope things keep going swimmingly for you, everyone deserves a smooth coming out.

[ProphetDragon]

Yesterday I had to friendzone a 19 year old girl. Everyone feels awkward, had I been 19 and she 16, it would have been a different matter entirely.

EDIT: I just found out the meaning of friendzone.

[MARS]

Yeah, it would have been pedophilia. Which it also would have been in this case. Please don't date an adult when you're not an adult and vice versa.

[ProphetDragon]

But... how do I say that to her?

Wait a minute, who is it that got friendzoned if she is attracted to me?

[MARS]

At that point you don't really owe an explanation. "Sorry, I'm not comfortable with that because I'm much younger than you" should be enough. If she keeps prying, don't give in.

In this case, you were the one who friendzoned her, although the friendzone pretty much doesn't exist, and is just a word men have come up with to deal with the fact that not every girl in the world wants to date them.

[ProphetDragon]

The main problem is that she is taking me for granted. Earlier she would treat me like a kid marking me as 'cute' and 'adorable', only a few days ago it was that she kissed me on my lips. My mistake was that I did not resist.

[MARS]

You made no mistake. This is exactly why underage/adult relationships are inherently abusive; your ability to think critically and stay cool is undermined by the power imbalance the other person brings to the table. I'm glad you're able to see this before it's too late.

[Crawldragon]

Women totally don't complain when they get friendzoned. Only men do, for they are pigs. This is absolutely true and not sexist.

Why are you having trouble friendzoning this person? Is it because you're interested? If it is, then you need to accept that it will not work. The age gap can not be bridged while you are this young. This will not be easy for you, but it will save you a lot of trouble in the future, emotional as well as potentially legal.

Are they pressing the issue on you? Or are they behaving in a way that makes you uncomfortable? If so, you absolutely need to be direct. Tell them that you are not interested in them in that way. Make that clear. Under absolutely no circumstances should you imply that you might be interested in the future, even if you might be, because this might spur them on, and you do not want to put yourself in a situation where you're stuck in an uncomfortable relationship and they still think they have a chance with you. I have seen this happen. Remember to think about your own happiness. Remember that you have absolutely no obligation to reciprocate. You have got to trust me on this. If they continue to push it, which they might, you need to be prepared to close that door forever. If you need me to explain, ask me in PM.

[ProphetDragon]

She is a friend of our family and also much like an elder sister to me. I don't want to negatively affect my so-called older sister who has looked after me and my brother for so many years. It's like the babysitter falling in love with the kid.

[Crawldragon]

She is a friend of our family and also much like an elder sister to me. I don't want to negatively affect my so-called older sister who has looked after me and my brother for so many years. It's like the babysitter falling in love with the kid.

Friendships become complicated over time, but there is no need for you to accept behavior that makes you uncomfortable. If she is putting you in a situation like that, she is negatively affecting you. Keep that in mind. It's not your fault that you feel this way. If all she did was kiss you, telling her that you are uncomfortable should be sufficient; she may not necessarily even be romantically interested in you. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

Women totally don't complain when they get friendzoned. Only men do, for they are pigs. This is absolutely true and not sexist.

Don't recall when exactly I said that, but actually reading and understanding things hasn't been fashionable for a long long time, so whatever

I understood what you wrote perfectly clearly. What you wrote is that it is a word that men have come up with to deal with the fact that not every girl wants to date them. If the user base for this term has expanded since then, as you've just said, I fail to see why you felt the need to point that out. You could have said "the friendzone is not a thing" or "I don't like the word 'friendzone'" perfectly eloquently without using those gendered terms, and yet you did. Your wording also smacked as being inappropriately aggressive for a situation in which a male colleague was asking for advice in a difficult situation and I wasn't going to let you get away with that without calling you out.

While we're on the subject, I don't like your usage of the term "cishet." That's a word used to create boundaries between people which again you didn't need to use, and yet you did.

[Velvet LeChance]

dlt