What's Yours weirdest NPC conversation?

[K Candyman]

Hi peepz,

So I was playing on my new character a Bosmer named Hirr, and I just came back from the Barrow and retrieved the dragon stone for Farengar. then Ireleth comes running in talking about the dragon.
When you come to Jarl Bulgruuf the guard is there, and Ireleth tells him to tell about the dragon.

Guard: Oh, That's Right... and than he continues with the story.

the way he says it, is like he almost forgot about it.
But WTF DUDE!!??? like you foget about a dragon hunting your ass down! this is one of the most silly and weird conversation between NPC's in game.

What your weirdest conversation you've overheard?or participated in?:P

Candyman

[Yaije]

Stumbled upon what I thought was a necromancer at an altar...

Forgot I wasn't sneaking, they weren't hostile, and said "Do you enjoy my work?" as a regiment of skeltons manifested around them....

not sure what caused them to appear in my game, haven't ran into them again and it must be something from a random mod (i don't really know anymore).. but i gtfo'd cause liek hell was my lvl 4 thief going to try and go toe to toe or bow with bunch of skeletons and a possibly soon to be irate wizard.

[Finn Wolfshorn]

That's from Interesting NPCs. She doesn't get hostile unless you attack her or the skeletons, and you can have the most fascinating conversation about necromantic art with her... not the art of necromancy, but necromantic Art, get it?

OT: One of my weirdest conversations (but also strangely fitting) was Serana saying "Wow, this is gorgeous! I'm so glad to be here with you"... while looking at a Forsworn sacrificial altar strewn with bloody body parts.

[K Candyman]

haha Serena seems to have a very special interpetaion of beauty than Creepy, and jet magnificent.

[BetaB17]

Is it safe to say every conversation with Cicero about is considered weirder than the average?

I will say, I laughed when I was near Tova Shatter-Shield and Cicero just felt it necessary to comment..
"Oohhh... Cicero's heard about the Butcher. Interesting knifework. Just... Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab! And then... Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab!"
Way to just make things even harder on a grieving mother, I thought you were suppose to be a jester though I will be honest, the commentary that Cicero and Serana give at the same time do make my rather dull moments quiet lively.. then annoying.. =___=

[K Candyman]

haah indeed indeed! but i think Cicero's enthousiasm over killing is the reason he is fit for the DB:P

[Crusader's Amour]

OT: One of my weirdest conversations (but also strangely fitting) was Serana saying "Wow, this is gorgeous! I'm so glad to be here with you"... while looking at a Forsworn sacrificial altar strewn with bloody body parts.

Old habits die hard.

Speaking of Serana, I love how at the end of Dawnguard on the Dawnguard side, you tell Harkon "your kind is a blight on this world" with Serana standing right there.

[perylousdemon]

That's from Interesting NPCs. She doesn't get hostile unless you attack her or the skeletons, and you can have the most fascinating conversation about necromantic art with her... not the art of necromancy, but necromantic Art, get it?

...Why haven't I downloaded this mod?! I just watched the trailer, and I'm hooked! Thanks a lot, Finn!

On-topic: this conversation between Haelga and Bolli nearly made me fall out of my chair.

Spoiler:

Bolli: "Haelga, we need to stop seeing each other."
Healga: "Oh, Bolli you silly man. You weren't saying that when you were licking that honey off my..."
Bolli: "Haelga! That's just it. I can't keep up with you. Your Dibellan techniques... they're exhausting."
Haelga: "Is it really me, or is it your wife? You need to make a choice Bolli. The honey or her."

[Dohva.]

^^ WHOA. The things my characters miss because they're too busy trying to start trouble in the taverns.

My strangest NPC conversation happened when my assassin and Serana were getting to know one another. Felina had on Mara's amulet (the fat poser) and out of curiosity, asked Serana what she thought of marriage. Because Felina is already married, Serana chewed her out and said she wouldn't be held responsible for breaking apart a marriage.

Hold on, pony! That's not what she was getting at!

[TheHipsterWoodElf]

Speaking of Serana, I love how at the end of Dawnguard on the Dawnguard side, you tell Harkon "your kind is a blight on this world" with Serana standing right there.

I had my character select that option and hoped that Serana knew I meant the evil vampires are a blight, not the good ones.
I think the funniest conversation I found was the one Farengar has with Odahviing when the latter is caught in the dragon trap. Death wish much, Farengar?

[Labyr]

I once had a no-voice conversation with a random NPC that went like this:

Them: You smell!
*dialogue option* Why don't people like me?
Them: You smell!

[swifthunter101]

During the Dragon Rising quest.

Irileth: Who's ready to kill a dragon?
Guard 1: Yeah!
Guard 2: Let's go!
Guard 3: We're all screwed.

[K Candyman]

haha never heard that one in that when they munster near the gate?

I normally don't wait up and just run ahead

[CreeperX]

One that comes to my mind was with Rolf Stone-Fist, the racist jerk from Windhelm.
First my character Azazel, a Dunmer btw, beat him up. Then later he ran into Rolf again and the man was like "So good to see you again, friend!"
Okay, so I guess beating your ass up now suddenly means we are greatest friends.
Then, when the dialogue ended and Az decided to leave, Rolf suddenly shouted some racist bs like "Get the hell away from me you ****!"
... wut? Does that guy have some sort of identity disorder? Though he's not certainly the only one who acts like this in Skyrim =P.

Also, bandits have acted very slow on several occasions in my game. I come up to one, for some reason s/he isn't aggressive. I try to start a conversation and s/he greets me like "What is it?"
... and then s/he suddenly seem to actually realize what is going on and attacks me like normal.

[Mattbott]

Dovahkiin, blood splattered, dragging headless body of guard who has just learned not to annoy him, walks through Riverwood

child says "my mother says not to talk to strangers, but you look ok"

i spose being unkillable makes all of Skyrim's children a bit strange..

[VictoriaCullen]

Mine would have to been when I was sneaking through one of the Forsworn redoubts, I think I was doing the Dibella quest where you have to rescue the girl, I looted one of the chests and suddenly there's footsteps behind me. A Forsworn runs up to to me and says something along the lines of "oh, did you just find that lying around?" and then just runs off again without going hostile, leaving me crouched there thinking WTF.

I'm not even sure where they came from as I'd come in that way so everything should have been dead

[sinister]

Ha! Something similar happened to me. This one time, in Embershard mine, I was sneaking near a bandit working the forge. Then I open my inventory and drop a pickaxe that I picked up on accident. The bandit leaves his forge, picks the axe up, and tells me "You dropped this.", and gives me back the axe. He then went back to the forge like nothing happened.

[Sirocco]

I don't know whether it counts as weird, but the most infuriating conversation I ever had was with one of the blades. The guy comes to me saying he wont help me until I kill the greybeards dragon because of a stupid oath.
I mean the world is being destroyed by a dragon, and this ass choose his stupid oath over helping save the world?

[ElderSkillz]

You guys should pay a visit to Frorkmar Banner-torn in Dawnstar. That guy has the single longest line of dialog I've ever heard. if you aren't expecting it as you guys will be if you read this and go talk to him, then it really catches you off guard. He talks FOREVER.

[Mattbott]

the lady from the Azura shrine is my new companion. I was chopping wood in Solstheim and she was standing exactly on the wood block, so when i got the log to put on the block she was standing on my hand, and every time my axe raised and fell, she was rising up and down

and she was chatting away, which was strange

[K Candyman]

haha Matt I can picture it in my head XD

@VictoriaCullen did you choose the side of the forsworn in Markarth? because then the forsworn of one redoubt are friendly

[tatortodd22]

*High elf riding with Stormcloaks as prisoners going into Helgen.*

"Damn elves, I bet they had something to do with this!"
I'm right here, dude...

EDIT: This is one page long, but it might be my favorite thread.

[K Candyman]

haha that's the same thing as someont other than a Nord screams: Your kind has no place here!, when you're playing a Nord
What the hell this is my land! not yours freak!

I am glad you like it haha:P

[Dark Heart]

*High elf riding with Stormcloaks as prisoners going into Helgen.*

"Damn elves, I bet they had something to do with this!"
I'm right here, dude...

EDIT: This is one page long, but it might be my favorite thread.

It's worth noting that he's all fond of elven characters later, provided they choose to follow him out of Helgen. I've had to restart my Dunmer this weekend, and she got a lot of praise and an invitation to join the Stormcloaks from him once they were on the road to Riverwood.

Ralof sure is an odd bird...

[dozer1771]

I recently added Inconsequential NPCS. Part of the mod adds "ladies of the evening" to Riften. Uredal , my bosmer hunter, had just returned to town after many days in the wilds of the Rift and was seeking companionship. Following their encounter, She re-appeared partially glitched in to the barrel beside the gate to the Ratway. She looked at Uredal, And proceeded to glitch/jump up and down as he slowly backed away.
I started to giggle .

Spoiler:

Apparently elf juice is hard to get out