Unintentional giggles

[Knows-Many-Secrets]

Knows-Many-Secrets was wandering outside Windstad Manor looking for his housekarl who had yet again wandered off. Suddenly he heard a roar and looked up. DRAGON! There was a dragon in the sky! No worries though, this was normal. He conjured a couple flame atronachs and readied himself for a magical duel with a dragon. Then suddenly a SECOND dragon flew by streaming fire on him and his flaming ladies! So Secrets starts to get worried. Two ancient dragons are a pretty decent threat even for him! But it didn't stop there. A third dragon touched down, this one revered!

So Secrets calls his pal Odahviing and begins in an epic battle. The argonian archmage and his dragon red dragon companion battling three dragons at once! Fire and ice flew threw the air in all directions, dremoras and atronachs were conjured and destroyed every other minute! But in the end, with only a small bit of health left, Knows-Many-Secrets stood over his last dragon enemy. The dragon's tail having caught him by surprise. He held up his hand to heal, and then POP.

An arrow struck Secrets right in the throat. Killed him instantly.

After killing three dragons at once a stray arrow from a bandit kills the arch mage. I laughed so hard.

[Ganit]

I was playing earlier near Winterhold when I was attacked by three bandits. They may have been from the Immersive Patrols mod. But, anyway, I killed two out of the three and started on the third. Two hits in and he was 80% dead; that's when he decided to run, screaming "Death is overrated!" He ran, right off a cliff into a crevice.

My other experience of the day definitely came from Immersive Patrols. I was going into Felglow Keep in order to procure some books for the College, but as I arrived, I realized the exterior had already been cleared by a platoon of Stormcloak soldiers. Passing by, I got all the usual, generic dialog: "If you know any true sons and daughters, send them to Windhelm." That stuff. Eventually, I passed a male Stormcloak who told me he couldn't wait to face his next Imperial. It was at that exact moment, arrows from an Imperial patrol began to rain on his companions. I politely walked into Felglow, thinking "Be careful what you ask for."

[MrC]

Fast-traveling to Markarth with Serana, and then watching her make a bee-line for the marketplace butcher right after he announced, "Bloodiest beef in the Reach."

Yum! Be right back, hero.

[tornadokirby]

Launching ice spikes at female bandits (or any generic enemies for that matter) and seeing that the killing blow was *somewhere* between the legs. I can't help it...this makes me crack up every time.

I also started a new character and entered Whiterun for the first time. As soon as a I enter, Severio Pelagia drops out of the sky, LANDS ON HIS HIT *with* the landing animation, and takes no damage. Superman, I guess...

Also...those couriers. I thought they only appeared in outside areas, but one spawned behind me in my HOUSE, gave me a letter of inheritance for someone I killed maybe 1 MINUTE ago, and then just walks out my front door. What are you, a ninja??

[ConsoleWedding]

I was in the mood to goof around, so I took off all my male Altmer's clothes in the Solitude marketplace and talked to people for the "your character is naked" dialogue. I got something even funnier when a guard saw my dingus and gave me the normal line:

"You can sell off that old junk at Bits and Pieces."

[Evil-i]

The pathetic little death moan of the Khajiiti Assassins makes me grin. It's the kind of sound a kindly grandmother would make upon discovering that she's accidentally over-browned the cookies she's been baking.

[He-Who-Likes-Pies]

Seeing a hunter run past me chasing a rabbit while screaming, "I'll rip your heart out!!!".

Performing any of the wrestling-related killcam moves never fail to make me laugh. One of these days, I'll make a Nord character based on Randy Savage.

"The Dragonborn ain't done with you Alduin, oh yeah. Alduin, comparatively speaking, oh yeah, you're just a snow flake in the Throat of the World and I am the whole Throat of the World, yeeeah."

[ConsoleWedding]

Unequipping Brenuin's skullcap to find he was hiding the large dreadlocks hairstyle in the hammerspace of that teeny tiny raggedy hat.

A Fugitive failing to escape from a Hunter because he didn't know how to hop over a knee-height fence.

Enthir strolling through the Hall of Attainment while Brelyna was practicing spells on me. He silently glances at us while walking out, not giving even a tenth of a crap that I was literally a dog at the moment.

[Arch-Mage Matt]

Unequipping Brenuin's skullcap to find he was hiding the large dreadlocks hairstyle in the hammerspace of that teeny tiny raggedy hat.

If we're talking about Whiterun hairstyles, then I should mention that the ranting priest Heimskr has a neckbeard. Seems just right for him.

[Pancake]

I had a good laugh when Neloth remarked how Hermaus Mora wanted a new way of skinning Horker from the Skaal.

[Felicia]

I got to see one of my favorite things in the whole game last night:

Spoiler:

the exchange between Delphine and her her subordinate after you bring Esbern back to Riverwood.

"The inn is yours! I'm probably never coming back here!"
"Well now. That's something to think about."

What??

[rpbraley868]

Walked into Riften for the first time in probably several in-game weeks. Was night time and i heard the shouts about the usual thief near the blacksmiths house, so i walked over to have a look. All of a sudden dozens (no joke) of arrows come flying in from multiple direction and hit the door frame, no thief in sight. So i walk inside of the house and the thief is just inside with a dozen arrows in his corpse. Poor guy didnt stand a chance.

[Khali]

I always get a laugh from some of Lydia's dialog. We just spent a grueling afternoon clearing out a cave and checking every little cranny for loot. We walk out side and instantly she says, "Look, a cave!!! I wonder whats inside?" I'm not one for stereotypes but this girl should have been a blonde.

[dzio]

Okay, I posted it first in the glitches thread, but it's not really a glitch, so I moved it.

So I finally upgraded my computer and I'm able to play Skyrim now, which is great. I've seen some of the glitches everyone talks about, like backwards-flying dragons and mammoths dropping out of the sky, but the two things that really made me laugh so far were not actually glitches at all.

First one was somewhere between Windhelm and Riften. I was sneaking around to avoid some bears and collect the jazzbay grapes for a certain nirnroot farmer, when I ran into a group of hunters soaking in the hot springs. I was in the sneak mode when I looked straight at the lady lying on her back in her underwear, with her arms crossed under her head, the crosshairs pointing somewhere around her boobs, and she looked at me and said "Don't even think about it". That was just about perfect.

And the second one was when my Breton thief (saddly gone due to the corrupted save file) hacked a dragon to pieces, with the finishing move of her jumping on its back and stabbing it in the head. Then, when I absorbed the dragon soul and put away my weapons, a Dunmer thief ran up to me and tried to rob me. Sadly there was no dialogue option that said "You just saw me kill a dragon with two tiny knives. Think again.", so I killed him for offending me with his stupidity.

[Linkuya]

When someone is trash talking, but gets interrupted as I shout them off a mountain.

[mewmew34]

Skyrim is full of entertaining moments. The guard at the Whiterun watchtower who stops to tell me "it's been too long since we've had a good bandit raid" after finishing off some bandits. I feel like we're actually having a conversation!

Finishing moves on mudcrabs. Almost as good as the dramatic music you get when one charges you, claws of death raised high in the air. (Am I the only one who thinks mudcrabs are actually kind of cute? Why do they hate me so? Just because I'm Whiterun Hold's #1 exporter of mudcrab chitin is no excuse!)

The best one though has to be during a dragon attack in Dawnstar, where a random NPC was heard to remark "my money's on the big one!"

Mudcrabs are ADORABLE! But, I tend to like crustaceans in real life, too. I plan to get some hermit crabs as soon as I have the money. ^_^ My kid better adopt the mudcrab pet or I'm going to be sad.

It may have been meant to be funny, I dunno. But something that cracked me up today was when I encountered Rieklings for the first time on my new character. Lydia sees them and says "What are they, carnivorous rabbits?" Oh, and on my other character, I got a hilarious screenshot of some dead Rieklings. They fell dead onto each other in a very inappropriate pose. XD

I got to see one of my favorite things in the whole game last night:

Spoiler:

the exchange between Delphine and her her subordinate after you bring Esbern back to Riverwood.

"The inn is yours! I'm probably never coming back here!"
"Well now. That's something to think about."

What??

I love Orgnar. If you go into the inn before returning the Dragonstone at the beginning, the innkeeper isn't there so he tells you that "You can lay your head down on a table for as long as you like. I won't bother you." It's so cute. ^_^

[tatortodd22]

Oh no, we were so close!

Spoiler:

Nice. I've always found it amusing when someone dies right in front of you (in my particular case, Gerdur), and a courier runs up to you like 30 seconds later with an inheritance letter.

The Nords have learned a lot of bureaucratic skills from the Imperials. They've really stepped their game up, over the past few decades.

[Kavatch99]

I had one today. Apparently a Falkreath guard had just killed a Thalmor agent and was crouched down, inspecting his fallen enemy. Now, the Thalmor agent was lying facedown in the dirt and the guard's hand was hovering over the Thalmor agent's butt.

Not gonna lie, I chuckled at that.

[ConsoleWedding]

"Stay alert. Never know when those Stormcloak dogs might charge." <--Battle for Whiterun is going on behind him

[Zephyr]

When I cleared Swindler's Den with Kari, I used Domination (Better Vampires) on one of the Alik'r to gain an ally in the fight. After I got back to Whiterun, a courier came along. My Alik'r comrade had left me an inheritance, in the amount of 0 gold.

[JVElEven]

What a cheapskate.

[dozer1771]

Intentional, unintentional - I'm not really sure.

Dang near anything Neloth says sends me into a fit of giggles. He is far and away my favorite NPC.

Hey, I'm not your servant: "Obviously not, or you would have a cup of tea in your hands. I supposed you want to be asked nicely. Very well. Please, oh hero of Skyrim. Please find Varona. I shall be ever so grateful."

"Dead? Well that's annoying. How did she die?"

"Where is that lazy steward of mine? Varona! No, wait. She's dead. Drovas!".

"Wet, you say? I suppose... yes, I can see how that would have inverted the tether. Unfortunate. Couldn't you simply avoid water? No, no, that won't do. Can't have you forgo bathing... The ashlands can leave one a bit pungent and it's, eh, obvious you've been through them.”

That sounds a little too risky: "That's unfortunate. I'll have to use Talvas again, and he's a bit of a screamer. Although... maybe this could solve two problems..."

Great stuff!

[Jun Satou]

"Never should have come here"

Is that directed at me or are you thinking aloud?

[boltonbrowne]

Oh yes, Master Neloth....my new hero.

The man...or mer, is so up himself it's sublime.

I find myself locking my bedroom door at night now to keep out "Ignorant Meddlers".

[Ramoth The Golden]

Standing back and watching Shadowmere take down a dragon then a dragon priest. (priceless)