Family and Relationship happenings thread

[Ediramadi]

I'm visiting my mother this Tuesday to celebrate my birthday with her. Sure, it was yesterday but she has been babysitting for friends of hers for the past week and neither of us have vehicles let alone driver's licenses. I hope she found some nice pants in my size as that would be the best gift I could receive right now. I want some nice blue jeans and some denim shorts more than any other kind of gift right now, except maybe new socks and a flannel shirt. I look forward to my time that I will be spending with her after I take two buses through four cities just to visit her in a podunk little valley town that happens to be the sister city of Puke, New Zealand.

[Frost Mage]

I didn't know how strong love could be. But I like it.

How long are you's actually going out for Frosty ? If you don't mind me asking.

We met around October or so of last year, and we've been sort of "officially" open about our true feelings for each other since about Christmas... But we have both liked each other since we met I found out... Too long to really get into detail here.

[Dan-Ru]

Seems I don't have "serious relationships" as such. Apparently I don't draw the right kind of women. I do however, get "Friends with benefits." Can't say I'm overly pleased about that, but it has it's moments... Usually in quiet areas of town at night.

[p-sto]

My wife had an exceptionally horrible day today. Spent the past 90 minutes talking about it. It's unfortunate to say she's gotten good at coping with things like this but I'm feeling the need to vent at the moment.

She was sexually abused as a child by a friend of her family starting at the age of 11. Three years ago she finally worked up the courage to tell her friends and family about what happened. She got quite a bit support from her loved ones, including the sister of the man who abused her. Her mother was not just unsupportive but abusive to the point of saying things such as, "you're a grown ass woman now, you can figure this out yourself". A month ago her mother actually had dinner with the man who abused her when she was visiting the Caribbean.

Today my wife had an appointment with her therapist, who was looking into her file from a previous therapist she had when she was 15 years old. According to the file her therapist at the time called her mother and informed her of the abuse since my wife was a minor at the time. Not only did the therapist give extensive details about what happened but she also made multiple follow up calls over the next couple years to see how things were going. Her mother consistently said that she was fine, despite periods of drug abuse, suicide attempts and other problems.

Thankfully when she heard what happened a month ago my wife finally decided cut ties with her mother. I'm at a complete loss at how to describe the feeling of disgust I have towards this woman.

[Dohva.]

That is so incredibly sad. Its a good thing she has you and other people in her life to love and support her. Mother not in the picture hurts your wife, I'm sure, but she's made the right decision backing away from such a toxic relationship. But you know what? This can only make your wife the stronger and she will one day make a really good mom because of it.

[Derp53]

That is so incredibly sad. Its a good thing she has you and other people in her life to love and support her. Mother not in the picture hurts your wife, I'm sure, but she's made the right decision backing away from such a toxic relationship. But you know what? This can only make your wife the stronger and she will one day make a really good mom because of it.

I didn't know what to say, but yeah, Dovahkiin sums it up, that's one less bad relationship to be worried about.

[Dohva.]

Love and patience, p-sto.

[p-sto]

Thank you. Now that the anger has subsided it's easier thinking about this. I find moments like these overwhelming because I try to imagine the pain that my wife suffered growing up and it seems incomprehensible. The flip side of this is the strength that she must have, to have endured those things and become the loving person that she is. I find this strength equally difficult to understand but it is inspiring to see.

[Eltee]

That's horrible, p-sto. I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said, but my thoughts are with her and with you.

[Hissien]

That is absolutely horrible Psto, I am truly sorry.

Well on a positive note, my mom and now sister know that I am gay. My mom did tell her boyfriend and be doesn't care. So I feel even better today, I feel a little betrayed that my mom told Craig, but at the end of the day, as long as she feels better then that is all that matters.

[p-sto]

Thank you everyone. My wife woke up this morning and seemed to be in a fairly good mood. Last night was the first time I've seen her express anger towards her mother instead of just feeling like crap over how she was treating her. It seems that the decision to distance herself is already helping.

Once again Hissien, I'm glad that everything worked out for you with telling your mom and your sister.

[Avron the S'wit]

It's natural for people to want to share important news like that with people they trust, Hissien, so I wouldn't be too surprised or hurt by your mother. She's supportive of you and that's what matters most.

And p-sto, that is tough to read but I think your wife made the right decision. My parents were horrible people who committed many atrocities to each other and their kids, and after several years of agony I decided to cut them out of my life. It was a very tough decision and it's difficult to know if it's the best one, but without their toxic and negative actions in my life, I really do feel so much better and free. People who are hurtful can really bring you down very easily. Sometimes it's better to remove yourself from that situation. There's no need to keep negativity in your life, no matter who is giving it to you. Family bonds don't make excuses for abuse or neglect, ever.

[Unionhack]

One of my friends, who had an abusive uncle, once told me that "Blood is thicker than water, but water tastes a hell of a lot better".

Familial ties don't excuse what her mother is doing. And it's good that she cut that off. Maybe her mom will see the light one day. Till then, you're in my thoughts. You as well, Hissien.

[p-sto]

The support from so many people on the forum is much appreciated. I've been of the opinion that my wife should have cut ties with her mother for some time now but I have no doubt that it was an exceptionally difficult decision for her to make. That being said, even with the situation being what is, when my wife told me this last night when she came home from work, my focus was on trying to supportive as opposed to expressing my full opinion of her mother. I'm grateful that I had the opportunity vent some of my contempt here.

[Dohva.]

I'm glad you feel better, p-sto and that your wife is strong.

[Frost Mage]

I'm so sorry to hear that, p-sto, no one should have to go through that... I'm glad to hear that things are getting better though.

[Frogmander]

p-sto, I have a feeling your wives abusive mother is simply seeking attention, I doubt she actually wanted to go out with the guy but just did it out of spite and for attention. Still quite rude though.

[ZeRoc]

Well, in the course of a month the two girls that I've been closest to have both moved away, one to Seattle, and Friend-girl has moved to Montana, so I don't foresee me posting about her very much in the near future. So now I can try to move onto other girls who hopefully won't give me a headache and heartache 8 times a week.

So overall life has actually gotten a lot easier.

[Frost Mage]

Old news but pretty much put me into an absolute state of bliss when I read it. We were talking about our feelings for each other pre-confessions.

Hidden:

[Goldbrand]

I have a girlfriend now, and things are looking good, we've been together 3 months and she hasn't royally [&@%!] me off or bored me to death!

[Hissien]

Straight men are no longer allowed to be attractive, cute or appealing in anyway, I'm sorry that is just how we must live to cut down on confusion. That is all.

[ZackyZombify]

Idk, I'm pretty hot. XD

[Hissien]

Hmm... When someone says that about themselves I am unsure what to think about it...

[Rose of Sithis]

Old news but pretty much put me into an absolute state of bliss when I read it. We were talking about our feelings for each other pre-confessions.

Hidden:

Does she know you're posting this? She'd probably be mad [&@%!] if she did. <_<

[Frost Mage]

Straight men are no longer allowed to be attractive, cute or appealing in anyway, I'm sorry that is just how we must live to cut down on confusion. That is all.

Having problems with determining sexual orientation, are we?

Old news but pretty much put me into an absolute state of bliss when I read it. We were talking about our feelings for each other pre-confessions.

Hidden:

Does she know you're posting this? She'd probably be mad [&@%!] if she did. <_<

Not commenting on this.