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Which Advert Gets Your Vote?
Poll ended at Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:07 am
ZeRoc 20%  20%  [ 3 ]
VirtualWeasel 13%  13%  [ 2 ]
ElGreg 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Frost Mage 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Zephyr 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Thelastdovah 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Console Wedding 20%  20%  [ 3 ]
BetaB17 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
dzio 47%  47%  [ 7 ]
Total votes : 15
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:45 pm 
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Novice
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2012 3:10 pm
Posts: 78
ES Games: Morrowind (Bloodmoon, tribunal), Oblivion, Skyrim (+ HF, DB, DG)
Platform: PC, PS3
UESPoints: 0
Please be gentle :)
Here it goes:

Spoiler:
Jarl Elisif the Fair presents the first annual
Tamriel’s got Talent
Wow the judges with your unique and amazing talent
Win your bodyweight in shiny sparkling gold or become Master Entertainer at the Blue Palace
Send your registration form to Erikur with your name, age and talent.
See you in Castle Dour’s courtyard at the Summer solstice.


Your esteemed judges,
Giraud Gemane , General Tullius, Arngeir

Please note that talents involving any activity listed below are not allowed. Your registration will not be accepted.
- maiming
- stealing
- killing
- Stormcloak propaganda
- lollygagging


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:50 pm 
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Grand Master
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Posts: 2578
Location: USA
ES Games: All of them!
Platform: PC
Status: Still a s'wit.
UESPoints: 5
Haha, I love it, ElGreg! Although maybe that's my Elisif love talking. :heart:

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Huzzah!

"[...] for the lives of gods are not what mortals think and matters that weigh only years to mortals weigh on gods forever."
The Tribunal Temple, Nerevar at Red Mountain

Find the S'wit:
ESO PC-NA: @Avron | Legends: nosoundcomes


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:08 am 
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Grand Master
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Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:35 pm
Posts: 2694
ES Games: Arena, Daggerfall, Morrowind, (PC), Oblivion, Skyrim (360)
Platform: Xbox 360, PC
Status: Pulling UltraRares
Other Profiles: GT: The Frosty Mage, Steam: Frost Mage, Skype: frostmage79x
UESPoints: 0
I should write one!

Hidden:
Come join us for the party of a lifetime at Summitmist Manor, for a night of fun and excitement!

Featuring games, wine tasting, and our large selection of fresh-from-the-orchard apples, picked locally on The Gold Road, be sure not to miss this last-in-your-lifetime chance at partying the night away in our royal estate.

We ask that you consider bringing your own ales and brews to share with your fellow party-goers, but please, no magically-enhanced beverages, thank you.

As for house rules, those are all up to you, except for a strict ban on weaponry of course: Wouldn't want anyone getting hurt now would we!

RSVP for more information.

And remember, YOLOEPBRT! (you only live once excluding possibly being reanimated as a thrall)

:mrgreen:

I debated so hard on whether or not to include an unoriginal, "It's to die for", line in there.

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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:09 am 
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Grand Master
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Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:21 am
Posts: 2578
Location: USA
ES Games: All of them!
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Status: Still a s'wit.
UESPoints: 5
Pretty sure YOLOEPBRT is going to somehow make its way into my vocabulary...against my will. :lol:

Great addition, Frosty!

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Huzzah!

"[...] for the lives of gods are not what mortals think and matters that weigh only years to mortals weigh on gods forever."
The Tribunal Temple, Nerevar at Red Mountain

Find the S'wit:
ESO PC-NA: @Avron | Legends: nosoundcomes


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:00 pm 
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Journeyman
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Joined: Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:26 pm
Posts: 302
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ES Games: Skyrim: DG, HF, DB
Platform: PC
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Here goes nothing.

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Hiring Notice


In preparation for upcoming social and networking events, we are seeking a new bar attendant for work at the Thalmor Embassy, among the most important establishments in Skyrim.

We require:
    Excellent interpersonal skills
    Accountability
    Prudence in serving patrons
    Ability to work under varying levels of supervision
    Minimum of one year’s relevant experience in a recognized establishment

We strongly prefer:
    Sympathy with the Aldmeri Dominion

All applicants should send a letter of interest – along with letters of recommendation from at least two Empire-favoring Jarls – directly to the Embassy. Those who can attest to all of the above qualifications may also state salary requirements.

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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 11:21 pm 
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Grand Master
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Posts: 2578
Location: USA
ES Games: All of them!
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Status: Still a s'wit.
UESPoints: 5
I like the "strongly preferred" section of that ad. :lol:

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Huzzah!

"[...] for the lives of gods are not what mortals think and matters that weigh only years to mortals weigh on gods forever."
The Tribunal Temple, Nerevar at Red Mountain

Find the S'wit:
ESO PC-NA: @Avron | Legends: nosoundcomes


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 9:55 am 
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Lord of the Shivering Isles
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Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 9:15 am
Posts: 1622
ES Games: Oblivion:GOTY, Skyrim:Legendary edition
Platform: PS3.
Status: Beta now owns my Liver.
UESPoints: 12
Spoiler:
Sweetroll Thief execution tomorrow!
By Hjor Lollygagger

The infamous Sweetroll Thief has finally been caught. The Dragonborn caught her trying to steal his Sweetroll in his lakeside house in Falkreath a few days ago and the High Queen has ordered her to be executed. The Thief has been terrorising Skyrim for years but she made the mistake of stealing from the Dragonborn. We can reveal that the Thief is a Dunmer called Avron the S'wit but was she sent by the filthy Thalmor to terrorise us? We at the Talos Times asked the Dragonborn and he refused to comment, stating that he has some unfinished bussiness with the Thalmor, the dragons, the falmer and generally the worst things we have to offer. The execution is scheduled for tomorrow at high noon in Solitude. Sweetrolls are provided and free Black Briar mead for everyone.

Disclaimer:We are not responsible for any lollygagging, drunkeness, Musical Imperials, Thalmor hunting,arrows to the knee,arrows to the head, maces to the head, swords to the head, dragon attacks, Dragonborn attacks, Skeever attacks, Rabbit attacks, Falmer attacks, mudcrabs,bandits,lying Khajiit,trolls,vampires, werewolves and sweetrolls being stolen.

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RANDOM SILLY STATEMENT AS SIGNATURE!
Praise Sheogorath!


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:05 pm 
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Grand Master
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Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:21 am
Posts: 2578
Location: USA
ES Games: All of them!
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Status: Still a s'wit.
UESPoints: 5
Sweetroll thief? why, that sounds so...heeeeey. :wat:

That made me laugh, TLD!

_________________
Huzzah!

"[...] for the lives of gods are not what mortals think and matters that weigh only years to mortals weigh on gods forever."
The Tribunal Temple, Nerevar at Red Mountain

Find the S'wit:
ESO PC-NA: @Avron | Legends: nosoundcomes


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:29 pm 
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Lord of the Shivering Isles
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Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2012 9:15 am
Posts: 1622
ES Games: Oblivion:GOTY, Skyrim:Legendary edition
Platform: PS3.
Status: Beta now owns my Liver.
UESPoints: 12
I'm surprised that no-one beat me to it. Think I may stand a good chance of wearing the purple coins.

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RANDOM SILLY STATEMENT AS SIGNATURE!
Praise Sheogorath!


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 9:45 pm 
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Apprentice
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Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 5:42 pm
Posts: 185
Location: Iowa
ES Games: Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim
Platform: PC
UESPoints: 0
Let's pretend it's not out of character for Calcelmo to invite just anybody into his Dwemer Museum, because I made an exhibition pamphlet for it.

...I probably spent too much time on this. Full size under the spoiler:
Spoiler:
Image


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2013 12:02 am 
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World Class Eejít
World Class Eejít
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Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2013 4:13 pm
Posts: 1435
Location: Top of the world!
ES Games: Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim
Platform: Xbox
Status: Naughty Cake Boi
Other Profiles: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
UESPoints: 14
I think I may try one.. :mrgreen:

Not a Spoiler:
Image

~Why Walk When You Can Ride?!~

Grown tired of getting lost on your way to the next town? Those old legs not quite like they use to? Afraid of the local wildlife hunting you down? Well look no further than to the skies my friend!
Yes indeed! We bring to you the luxury that only a Silt Strider can bring! Not just any run of the mill adventurer can pull off a faster means of travel. Trust us, we've checked!

While they may not be that prettiest, these giant arthropods stand at a surprising 60 feet! Fear of heights? No worries, we guarantee your safety by Azura's name!
All across Vvardenfell we provide an elaborate system of travel for all your needs be it trade, civilian, or luxury! We certainly tell no lies!
No other competitor can compete with us! Over land, water, and even loading screens, nothing will stop us from getting you to where you need!


~Worried that an ash storm may brew or a cliff racer may swoop by?~
We have finely hollowed a compartment from it's hardy shell. It is from their that our caravaner can directly manipulate the fellow via exposed organs and tissues.. Eww right?
Not at all my friends! And don't worry, it doesn't hurt them one bit.. In fact, they absolutely love it! Why else would they be howling so loud?
As for the cliff racers.. we're currently working on that. Hired a man by the name of Jiub. We're sure he'll get the job done...


~Rather travel alone?~
Yeah, we can understand that. People can be jerks, it's always nice to have some alone time..
That is why we have our chief enchanter Tarhiel is working on a way to really make things all the more better!
We've been experimenting with personal scrolls that just will bring a whole new meaning to travel! We're really excited!
Last week he said he's almost perfected it, went out to test it.. haven't heard from him since.. He's probably fine..

But worry not! We aim for your convenience, and never at the knee!
So till dawn and dusk we'll stand by and service we. Till that day comes, we can still enjoy our beloved Silt Striders!
Now if we're talking about dragons.. consider us out of business.. Luckily they don't exist..


~Haven't quiet made the deal yet, well wait till you hear this!~
We have personally been a favorite of none else than the Nerevarine! Even the Great Houses admit to how grand our service is!
Only a S'wit would be foolish enough to pass up on such a thing! We're trying to be a business here people..

It goes without saying, we plan on spending our travels with you for another era or two! From what we can see, we're going to have a pretty successful future.
Some furry N'wah with a weird hat said all our profits are going to erupt like never before, and we believe him!
Granted if something bad was going to happen, you can count on us to be the first to hear!
What's the worst that could happen?


~Silt Striders Industries~
With but a small fee, we can glide you forth to your home beyond!
We will take care of all your needs and never more will you worry on your travels!


Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any theft, misplaced children, fall injuries, being mauled to death, stolen sweet rolls, cannibalism, illegal trafficking, lollygagging, mind control, trolls, god killing, mudcrab memes, support for Thalmor, insanity, stealing of souls, poor table manners, or any unusual side effects.
Simply we just don't care, just give us money.


Ad's provided by Silt Strider Industries

_________________
"I Seek Truth, Not For Power, But For Understanding"
~Former Steward of The Queen's Sweetrolls~
~Proud Disciple in the ways of Believe~
~Forever a UESP user~
[?]


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 8:43 am 
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Champion
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Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2011 5:49 pm
Posts: 882
Location: Poland
ES Games: Daggerfall, Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim
Platform: PC
UESPoints: 0
I know I'm a bit late, but the vote is not up yet, so I hope I can still enter. ;)
Here's my dragon attack PSA:

Hidden:
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Rule #137: Always waste time when you don't have any.


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 11:08 am 
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Mod On Leave
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Posts: 2876
Location: Your dreams
ES Games: Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim
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Other Profiles: Gamertag: MightyGo0dLeadr
UESPoints: 15
Alright! That's it! No more entries! Here are your finalist!


_________________


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:29 pm 
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Warder
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Status: Recently acquired Skyrim for the PC!
UESPoints: 0
Musicman247 wrote:
It's been six days. I haven't even finished the planning stage of my entry. ;)

:roll: Uh-huh.

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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:30 pm 
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And I still haven't!!!! >_>

I was planning on making an advertisement for knee armour, but I figured I already have colored coins. Maybe I'll make it just for fun.

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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:40 pm 
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Warder
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Musicman247 wrote:
And I still haven't!!!! >_>

I was planning on making an advertisement for knee armour, but I figured I already have colored coins. Maybe I'll make it just for fun.

Sounds like a funny idea and I wouldn't mind seeing it. :P

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Unionhack wrote:
Your religion does not make you better than other people.


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:40 pm 
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Lord of the Shivering Isles
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UESPoints: 12
It's too late Musicman. Unless you change the rules and risk being accused of being corrupt. ;) Will be interesting to see who wins this month. Will be very surprised if I win. May have to apologise to Her S'wittiness if i do win for using her to win the comp as i've heard she is a very very petty person.

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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:41 pm 
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UESPoints: 15
If I made it, it wouldn't be added to the entries.

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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:45 pm 
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Master
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Congratulations to Dzio.

Though my vote went to Console Weddings entry. :wink:

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''I HAVE ARRIVED , AND I'M FABULOUS''


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:48 pm 
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Champion
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So did mine. ;)

Also - wooooooooo! :D Thanks for voting for me guys, I had a lot of fun with this entry (even if I had to do it all in Paint).

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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 7:06 pm 
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Apprentice
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ES Games: Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim
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Aww, guys. :)

Congrats!


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 Post subject: Re: Competition of the Month - August Edition!
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2013 8:38 pm 
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Mod On Leave
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Posts: 2876
Location: Your dreams
ES Games: Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim
Platform: Xbox, PC, STD
Status: Smurfin'
Other Profiles: Gamertag: MightyGo0dLeadr
UESPoints: 15
Looks like it's official! Congratulations to dzio, the winner of this month's competition! Enjoy your purple coins. Everyone had great entries, so give yourselves a pat on the back as well!

We'll be back in a day or so with the next CotM! Stay tuned!

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