Like Deandra's, but different, because this thread is about conflict, and resolving it. Verbally, or physically. I am not suggesting physically, but admit that it is sometimes more fun, and sometimes has to be done. (Hey! That rhymes!). Answer the following questions on your conflict, and post them up, or if you want to keep it private, PM me them. I will do my best to find a way out of it how you would like:
1. You against who? (How many people and small descriptions of them.)
2. What is it about? (Just a main idea here, fewer words the better.)
3. What did they do wrong? (Go off as much as you want here.)
4. What did you do wrong? (Don't be shy, this is the most important.)
5. Do you have anyone that is with you? (Names, descriptions, etc.)
6. Pick a stage of conflict from below.
7. Are things verbal or physical at the moment?
8. If they are verbal, are they seemingly about to get physical?
9. If you two (or more) saw eachother for a brief moment, what would happen?
10.If you two saw eachother for an extended amount of time, what would happen?
11. List the options (Listed under Resolution options) in the way you would want them, one being the best. Use the letter for each option
Stages of Conflict:
Spoiler:
No conflict
Stage one- is where people have some sort of disagreement, but can quickly resolved if the combatants work together to have mutual understanding on others point of view etc, and work on a objective manner to find a solution, that both are happy with. But if they don't find a way to resolve the issue, then it escalates.
Stage two- is where either party feels wronged, and may compete with each other, and ignore the other persons point of view or goal, despite them both wanting the same thing, but steadfastly refuse to work together, causing the a further escalation of conflict
Stage three- is where they feel that its pointless in talking or working with the other, and its here that they can resort to name calling, undermining each others work and so forth, maybe even making snide remarks about the others work or appearance etc. Its here that either party if not both may have a deterioration in their physical & mental heath.
Stage four- is where that if things have got so bad, that they may become intimidating, threatening and aggressive, even dragging colleagues or friends into the fray.
Resolution Options
Spoiler:
a. Talking Face to Face
Avoid additional misunderstandings by discussing the situation in person.
b. Expressing Emotion
Give both sides time to express feelings calmly. If you're too emotional to speak clearly, write down two or three key points for your combatant to read in an attempt to help her understand your point of view.
c. Admiting It
Force yourself to find just one point in the other side's argument that you agree with. The acknowledgement may be enough to start an open and less hostile dialogue.
d. Compromising
Take the high road and let go of something you want to help resolve the conflict. Realize that you may need to abandon your original plan or desires just to reach a peaceful resolution.
e. Injecting Humor
Defuse a tense situation with a joke or a humorous anecdote that may allow the other party to understand your side of the disagreement. Avoid jokes that might offend or belittle your opponent, and be prepared for your attempt at humor to fall flat.
f. Agree to Disagree
When neither side will budge, negotiate a solution that allows you to agree that neither side "won," and put the issue aside. If you're unable to forgive and forget as the days pass, you may need to revisit the issue to prevent additional damage to your relationship.
g. Asking for Help
I do not suggest the following, but there is always the option
h. Embarassing the other Party
Shutting the enemy up, quickly, by doing things that will most likely get you in trouble.
i. Talking Fist to Fist
Sometimes, rarely, there is no other choice than to duke it out.
j. Becoming Passive
When a conflict is just to overwhelming, and there is no other way, it is important to know when to just quit.
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:02 pm
by the Savage Hippie
So you are going to suggest to people that they behave violently towards other people?
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:06 pm
by Imp
imperialkhajiit wrote:I got this idea from hereI am not suggesting physically
I believe I have said this multiple times in this.
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:36 pm
by the Savage Hippie
I am not suggesting physically, but admit that it is sometimes more fun, and sometimes has to be done.
Sounds to me like you are encouraging people to act violently towards others.
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:42 pm
by Imp
Where? I am not encouraging it, I am saying that sometimes there is really no other way out of it. Someone isn't going to brutally hit you and you aren't going to say, "Please stop, you are hurting me and my feelings." IF physical contact ever comes up, this is what I go by:
Step 1- Walk away
Step 2- Run if he follows
Step 3- Go into a trusted group if he starts running, even if it is a group of people you don't know, or teachers if you.
Step 4- If there is nobody around, try blocking strikes
Step 5- If he keeps attacking, punch back a few times
Step 6- If he keeps attacking, severly injur him.
I have and never will encourage violence.
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:47 pm
by the Savage Hippie
Okay. I think this is fine now, but I was a bit skeptical at first, well, lol. You are assuming that the bully is a he, feminist!
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:48 pm
by Imp
Yeah, I realized that when I posted it.
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:52 pm
by Đ¢eatime
the Savage Hippie wrote:Okay. I think this is fine now, but I was a bit skeptical at first, well, lol. You are assuming that the bully is a he, feminist!
Don't you mean sexist?
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 1:53 pm
by Avron the S'wit
Okay, let's take the gender discussion elsewhere and leave Impy's thread to Impy!
I think we can even put this to use here on the forums, so good idea. Let's see how it goes.
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:04 pm
by Dean
EDIT: Deleted
*Nevermind, I'm not in the mood to argue*
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:06 pm
by the Savage Hippie
Mrs T wrote:
the Savage Hippie wrote:Okay. I think this is fine now, but I was a bit skeptical at first, well, lol. You are assuming that the bully is a he, feminist!
Don't you mean sexist?
I know, we are not supposed to discuss this, and we are not going to, but I still will answer Mrs. T... I think both words would fit what I meant. Although, sexist was the word I was looking for, obviously
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:10 am
by Wolf
Oh, my... Factory-line counseling.
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:30 am
by DorostheConqueror
imperialkhajiit wrote:
imperialkhajiit wrote:I got this idea from hereI am not suggesting physically
I believe I have said this multiple times in this.
Well, that's no good. What if violence is the best option? You're needlessly limiting your advice here.
Where? I am not encouraging it, I am saying that sometimes there is really no other way out of it. Someone isn't going to brutally hit you and you aren't going to say, "Please stop, you are hurting me and my feelings." IF physical contact ever comes up, this is what I go by:
Step 1- Walk away
Step 2- Run if he follows
Step 3- Go into a trusted group if he starts running, even if it is a group of people you don't know, or teachers if you.
Step 4- If there is nobody around, try blocking strikes
Step 5- If he keeps attacking, punch back a few times
Step 6- If he keeps attacking, severly injur him.
I have and never will encourage violence.
This is absurd. You never walk away when you can run like hell right out the gate, and you don't let him get the first punches in. The moment you sense hostility, you either book it and don't look back, or (if you're bigger than him) you shoot for the takedown, full mount him, and give his face a few good pounds. If you're smaller or fatter than he is, then you grab the nearest heavy object and crack him over the head with it. Never ever try to be kung fu Gandhi and sit there expecting to "block strikes". You're just asking for trouble, especially since if someone's picking a fight with you, they're usually confident they can beat you up. And no offense, but if you need advice on conflict resolution, then they're probably right.
Oh, and forget teachers. Remember the Code of the Schoolyard. A beating lasts a minute, tops, but the cold stigma of being a tattletale lasts the rest of your childhood.
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:34 am
by Deandra
the Savage Hippie wrote:I think both words would fit what I meant.
It's ok, most people in fact seem to be just as confused about what feminism means.
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:40 am
by DorostheConqueror
Deandra wrote:
the Savage Hippie wrote:I think both words would fit what I meant.
It's ok, most people in fact seem to be just as confused about what feminism means.
Hell, most feminists seem to be confused about what feminism means.
Except Dworkin. She knows what it means. Unfortunately, for her it means hating men and hating sex and being a bitter fat old bag, so maybe she would have been better off getting mired in an ideological existential crisis.
(Le Festin de Babette? Oh, you clever, clever girl. Bulbs for you.)
Re: Conflict Resolution with Impy the Khajiit
Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 11:05 am
by Imp
DorostheConqueror wrote:
imperialkhajiit wrote:
imperialkhajiit wrote:I got this idea from hereI am not suggesting physically
I believe I have said this multiple times in this.
Well, that's no good. What if violence is the best option? You're needlessly limiting your advice here.
Where? I am not encouraging it, I am saying that sometimes there is really no other way out of it. Someone isn't going to brutally hit you and you aren't going to say, "Please stop, you are hurting me and my feelings." IF physical contact ever comes up, this is what I go by:
Step 1- Walk away
Step 2- Run if he follows
Step 3- Go into a trusted group if he starts running, even if it is a group of people you don't know, or teachers if you.
Step 4- If there is nobody around, try blocking strikes
Step 5- If he keeps attacking, punch back a few times
Step 6- If he keeps attacking, severly injur him.
I have and never will encourage violence.
This is absurd. You never walk away when you can run like hell right out the gate, and you don't let him get the first punches in. The moment you sense hostility, you either book it and don't look back, or (if you're bigger than him) you shoot for the takedown, full mount him, and give his face a few good pounds. If you're smaller or fatter than he is, then you grab the nearest heavy object and crack him over the head with it. Never ever try to be kung fu Gandhi and sit there expecting to "block strikes". You're just asking for trouble, especially since if someone's picking a fight with you, they're usually confident they can beat you up. And no offense, but if you need advice on conflict resolution, then they're probably right.
Sigh...
Correct! Sometimes violence is the best option. Though this its only truth when it is self defense. Have you heard the term,"verbal argument". Imagine discussing something angrily and someone like Doros throws a rock at you! Does anybody think that would turn out right, or resolve the conflict? Yes Doros, this its conflict resolution, not face pummeling rock throwing. By the way, have you ever thought of your surrounding? The place yOu are in? I doubt it. Why would you full out sprint when someone loOks at you funny. I would walk, obviously, because it its the best option. This order if events isn't for incapable fighters. I was not going to post that, but someone was questioning me. Somebody of my personal skill level can block strikes, unlike you expect to do.
Oh yeah, and once your spider senses "sense the hostility" and you throw a boulder at him, and somehow you were right, and he was going to attack you it would still be you who started the braw.
DorostheConqueror wrote:
imperialkhajiit wrote:
imperialkhajiit wrote:I got this idea from hereI am not suggesting physically
Oh, and forget teachers. Remember the Code of the Schoolyard. A beating lasts a minute, tops, but the cold stigma of being a tattletale lasts the rest of your childhood
Again, Doros, read more carefully, because you are right.
Never 'tattletale', all I said is if they are around, hope they see it.
Over all, this is talking about Conflict Resolution, not about gang fights to the death.
Can someone lock this? I think it officially hit one page of nonsense.
