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I just heard a conversation t'day, which I found rather funny.

It was in Chorrol's Fighters Guild. The Figthers Guild Porter talked to the local leader, Vilena Donton. The conversation went like this:

FG porter: "I guess I could've been an adventure, but... I like sleeping in a bed." Vilena: "Ofcause."

Somehow, for a memeber of the Fighters guild, that seems out of place.
What about you? What's the funniest/strangest/best conversation you have ever overheard in Oblivion?

Two phrases I over-heard had me rolling in laughter:

The first one was some random NPC in Bruma that said something like:

"I'm old now and like staying up late reading trashy books."

The second one was the vampire in the Dark Brotherhood in Cheydinhal that said:

"The Count in Skingrad isn't all he seems. Let's just say I'm not the only one who enjoys his evenings"

first, i gotta tell ya i got crappy speakers, so it sounded like this:

"S**t down!"

but it was:

"sit down!"

Oh this was a small quest where i was kidnapped(does not appear in jornal quest)
and had to fight my way out with fists.........naked!

i have heard that one about the count. there is also the one about the orc member of the DB who had a pet. he petted it so hard that he broke it's neck!

That's hilarious.

From a female NPC: "I hear you really know how to move around in light armor."

They use to say so occationly, but only if you are at high enough level in the specific skill. You can also hear things like: "You have the eyes of a trained marksman" or "You have the hands of an illusjonist".

I get "You have the hands of a healer" so often it sickens me. I shouldn't have maxed my restoration by level 8...

codex wrote:They use to say so occationly, but only if you are at high enough level in the specific skill. You can also hear things like: "You have the eyes of a trained marksman" or "You have the hands of an illusjonist".

Yah. But those can't be sexual innuendo's.

"I need sexual healing!"

Zavrith wrote:"I need sexual healing!"

Healing yourself too much could cause blindness you know.

Sorry! Sorry!

If you have a high Conjuration skill, people say "Ugh, you smell of death! What have you been conjuring?"

The woman in one of the inns in Anvil - "Sorry, my beds are reserved for seamen"

Jauffre - "If you hit me again, I'll kill you."

And my all-time favourite is the Orc in the Dark Brotherhood - "That little girl won't be seeing her 6th birthday! Hahahahaha!"

Owyn: "I heard a rumor that you're an idiot! Any thruth to that?"

M'raaj-Dar: "Foul, smelling it!"

Gogron gro-Bolmog: "I'd hug you, but Ocheeva told me not to."

And a few from our old friend M'Aiq The Liar...


"M'Aiq believes that children are the future. But he doesn't want them ruining all the fun"

"Feet are for walking. Hands are for hitting. Or shaking. Or waving. Sometimes for clapping."

r wrote:"M'Aiq believes that children are the future. But he doesn't want them ruining all the fun"

You know, this is a reference to why Bethesda didn't put any children in the game.

http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:M'aiq_the_Liar

By far, M'aiq is one of my favourite NPC's in the game.

Edit: Hmm... My link will not be accepted as a link

I love the all legendary phrase from Morrowind that has also carried into Oblivion: "May the wind be on your back"


"I like to dance close to the fire"-CAESAR

codex wrote:They use to say so occationly, but only if you are at high enough level in the specific skill. You can also hear things like: "You have the eyes of a trained marksman" or "You have the hands of an illusjonist".

they keep on saying "you look like quite the alchemist, lets make some potions"

Huh huh, your a sneaky one!

" your hands are very nimble, what have you been getting into?"

these aren't overheard but were funny none the less.

Eyja(Skingrad):
-For 150 gold and a roof over my head, I'm yours!
...well to help around the house i mean.

Falanu Hlaalu(Skingrad):

-I can't go back to Morrowind. BTW, do you happen to know what the fine is here for necrophilia?
my reply.. Is this a first time offense?
-Lets assume... 'no'

Weebam-Na in Leyawin had said something about "rat pen*s" in the first conversation i had with him. nearly choked on my drink lol

should also include famous last words of random guards...

guard-Go ahead! Say it!
my reply- I'm sorry, I have to kill you now. ...you brought this on yourself

One that made me chuckle...

I just finished the next to last fighter's guild quest and sold alot of armor and weapons to the Chorrol armor merchant. On my way out of the fighter's guild to start my next quest I hear...

"Have you heard about the new shipment of armor and weapons at..."

Hehe... I responded "You're welcome." Of course, I respond to alot of things in Oblivion in real life.

CE

I had a female NPC (can't recall what town) say to me, as I was passing her.....

"You look like you have nimble fingers. What have you been getting into?"

I thought it might have been a come-on, but it wasn't....but then again, neither is it a come-on when someone says to me...."Wow, look at the muscles on you!", which is what I get a lot of in the game.....