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I'm looking for good mod that tweaks the leveled enemy system in Oblivion. Not necessarily one that stops it, but makes it a bit more realistic, like less glass armor bandits at high levels and maybe stopping high level enemies from leveling with you.

OOO ???

Check for Oscuro's Oblivion Overhaul (OOO)
I think its the best around It will give your game random lvl enemies, new creaturs, random equipment on enemies and a new better behaviour

I tried to post you an url but i cant. Just use your google

I'd heard about OOO before, but I was worried about it being too drastic a change form vanilla Oblivion, but now that I'm browsing the PDF I'm finding that I like what I see. My only question is if it works fine with already established saved games.

Ther is a litle utilitu who come whit OOO mod, and using that you can update existing save game.

I would suggest OOO, i didnt find it too dramatic personally and if you have any experience then you should be alright with it. All the normal quests are there and some extras, all of which feel like they fit. Plus it does create a challenge, but you can overcome this with the difficulty slider.
Hint- Walk everwhere at first so you can level up on enemies like bandits. I suggest using the oblivion experience mod as you can read books and things and dont have too worry about the leveling up specific skills.
I think Frans is an alternative too OOO but i have never tried it.
Oh make a copy of your data file and previous saves first so that if any of the mods mess up your game then its still there.