Family and Relationship happenings thread

[Veck]

@Cactus I have a cousin with autism. She lives in Ireland so I don't see her more than once a year, but it's a pretty nasty condition, and it isn't going to go away as she gets older. She didn't learn to talk until she was 8, meaning that she's only been doing it for a couple of years, and even then she's not comfortable with it, so there's very little vocal communication between her and other people. She's about the same age as my sister though, so they get along well enough when we see each other.

But the look in her eyes, that's not a look of an idiot. The idea of people who are different being stupid is ridiculous, as I reckon that she'll be smart enough to be fully independent when she's older. Her condition isn't shockingly bad either, and she hasn't shown as much social awkwardness that most autistic children show, so there's always the hope that she'll be able to function as a full member of society. Plus, we can always hope that they find a way to help your nephew. Good luck with him.

[leroybrown]

*bubble burst*

So, my nephew has epilepsy. Really bad. He's currently 16 years of age and was diagnosed when he was around 9 or 10. He has seizures almost daily and aside from the obvious ramifications, they really mess with his mind. He's pretty normal most of the time, but once he has one he's out of it for ages, almost like he isn't quite sure of where he's at. It's messed him up in school and daily life, and he'll probably have to live with someone for the rest of his life because he can't take care of himself. Why am I bringing this up?

Well, he went to a specialist in north Georgia recently and stayed for several days. They wanted to hook him up to all sorts of machines and scan his brain whilst he had seizures. Eventually he had enough. The only thing they could say was that the seizures come from so many parts of his brain that brain surgery and even most medicines aren't really going to help. Before this he was a shy but really brilliant kid. Now he struggles with simple math several years below where he should be. He's also probably the nicest and most polite kid I've ever met. No one could deserve it less.

I'm assuming that was an 'ambulatory EEG.' That's a terrible thing to go through, no one should experience that. Then again, a seizure isn't something you'd want to go through either. It's 50% confusion, 40% fear, 9% panic, and 1% fascination. One thing that makes his situation so bad is that they are going to throw meds at him to treat the condition. This will cost your family money and the meds will mess with his body and mind. If he is given Topomax monitor him VERY carefully. Lyrica sucks too. One interesting thing it did however was it gave me a lucid dream every single night.

[Avron the S'wit]

@Cactus I have a cousin with autism.

My youngest brother - now 19 - has severe autism. It's been a huge challenge my entire life, but the things I have learnt while taking care of him far outweigh all the struggles. Even though my brothers and I will have to care for him his entire life, it's something we look forward to. He's the greatest kid I know and I love him dearly, and we have great times together. No one understands it, but they don't have to.

It still feels bad when these horrible things happen. It hurts; no one deserves it. I wish your nephew the best in the end, Cactus, but as he's a smart kid and he has great people like you behind him, I have a feeling he'll overcome. I'll keep him in my thoughts!

[Cactus]

One thing that makes his situation so bad is that they are going to throw meds at him to treat the condition. This will cost your family money and the meds will mess with his body and mind.

I don't remember the specific drugs, but he's been on medicines since he was much younger. They mostly don't help and the doctor actually said he's going to take Michael off some of them since there's no point in taking something that doesn't help. You're right though, sometimes the medicines actually mess him up worse than the seizures. The stuff he takes daily is okay, but some of the injections and whatnot he has to take after a seizure will screw him up for half a day, easy, if he can stay away that is.

He's also got an implant in his chest that sort of mildly shocks him every three minutes automatically that's supposed to help his seizures. You can tell because if he's talking his voice goes crackly and he sounds like a robot. They keep magnets around because it's designed so if you rub a magnet over his heart it'll set the thing off too. They use that for when he's actually having one since it's supposed to help reduce the severity of it. My sister thought it was crap, but let them have the surgery anyway. Now though, she says it seems to help at least a little, and a little help is better than nothing.


Everything I know about autism I learned from Dean Koontz as it and similar conditions are common in his main characters/protagonists. I have a friend who has an autistic daughter, but I never see her.

[leroybrown]

I don't remember the specific drugs, but he's been on medicines since he was much younger. They mostly don't help and the doctor actually said he's going to take Michael off some of them since there's no point in taking something that doesn't help.

That is really, really good to hear. Yall must have an amazing doctor.

He's also got an implant in his chest that sort of mildly shocks him every three minutes automatically that's supposed to help his seizures.

Yeah yeah. They mentioned that [&@%!] to me. It actually does have a high success rate though and the good thing about it is it's not brain surgery. [&@%!] brain surgery, I get angry thinking about that. People can't imagine how frustrating it is for a doctor to tell you dozens upon dozens of times, "THIS TIME, this med will work, for sure. Side effects? No, no, no. It'll be OK." They'll look you in the eyes and tell you that with a warm smile. [&@%!] YOU. Why don't you take these meds before you prescribe them [&@%!]?

Then when they suggest brain surgery and I say "no chance in a thousand years" they look at me like I'm crazy. Really? I mean really? I'm the crazy one? Lets analyze this: The person that was wrong every single time about treating my epilepsy wants to cut into my mother [&@%!] brain. He wants to remove my skull and cut into my god damn brain. Oh, and he wants me to pay him. Well, mister MD, take your degree and shove it up your ass.

[Dark Lord Cam]

Ease up on the swearing there bud.

[Master of Puppets]

Ah. There's a girl at my school that I like, but we've been best friends for years. Ugh... I want to tell her without being awkward. Anyone know how?

[Dean]

Ah. There's a girl at my school that I like, but we've been best friends for years. Ugh... I want to tell her without being awkward. Anyone know how?

Ah, love sweet love.

Just be chilled about it man, so you don't want to go rushing into anything. Time is your best friend in cases like this, especially seeming they are rather more delicate situations then the usual 'girl meets boy'. I see your problem, if it does go sour, well things could get a little awkward between you and your best friend. It happened to me, embarrassing yes, but in the end it only helped me in the future.

Flirting is one of man's finest creations, as if you do realise she isn't quite into you like that then you can pretty much pass it off as 'being friendly'. A touch on the shoulder and a smile while talking about something, it's not to serious but if she realises it and responds back then it's your lucky day. If not, then no one is harmed, it can just be put down as you being playful.

Last thing you want to do is ask her friends, I'm serious, girls discuss everything there not meant to with each other I swear. Even if you ask them not to. Women

A question. Have you noticed any signs from her when you talk and hang out? things you think might be her way of expressing how she feels. If she is a rather shy lass, then it's a bit harder to read them and you have to do most of the work(lucky you). It would help to know a bit about the personality of the girl in question, as they are not all the same. Different girls, different circumstances.

I must be honest with you, romantic relationships with friends can be difficult. Especially if your use to a normal friend relationship instead. It might be a little awkward for both of you so you gotta remember that. Just make sure you ease your way into it, if she responds to your flirting etc. be sure not to flip the question right then. Like I said, time is your best friend, you are still young. Ask her to go see a movie or some music gig(bit cheesy yes, but it's what friends do), after doing that a few times and playing it cool for a bit, really get to know each other more, then you can go ahead and ask her when you think the moment is right. That moment being when your both having a good time and feel comfortable. Preferably when your alone, much easier that way, as there is no embarrassment in front of your friends if it doesn't go to plan. Both for you and her.

Remember to make sure she is in a good mood. Grumpy girls...are hard to work with(no offence any girls reading this, it works both ways after all). Also being able to talk to the girl about anything, even random crap, is a sure sign of knowing that it isn't just lust you are feeling(teenage hormones no doubt going crazy). What's the point of a relationship if you barely talk that much to each other?

Anyway, that's just my 2 cents for you. Take it, leave it, throw it to the dogs, as long as it can possibly help with the situation at hand then I am content.

On last thing? Good luck

P.S Expect a totally different response from are female members. But no one knows girls quite like girls after all.

[Veck]

I would say to make sure you're close enough with her. I know that sounds silly, but sometimes it would be more comfortable if you both understand each other and your feelings. Like Dean said, get involved with her, go places with her, just as friends. You never know, she may like you already, but both sexes can be charmed by the other. If you can flirt, and she's the kind of girl who'll take it (be warned, we don't all take kindly to it) then by all means try it when you're ready, but if either of those above criteria don't swing true with you, then try something more affectionate. Show her that you trust her, drop subtle hints of admiration etc. The important thing is not to jump into it. I'd be pretty shocked if one of my friends just came up to me and flat out admitted he liked me with no hints, and I doubt she'd like the same. And for Jebus's sake, be understanding. Nothing ticks me off more than when a boy doesn't care about me.

[Dan-Ru]

Heh, probably can't be worse than the situation i'm in.
To cut a long story short (purely because i'm too lazy to write the whole thing)...

Spoiler:

I live in a small country community, 250 kids at my school, and 26 or less in my class. Now legitimately, the nearest resturaunt is about 2-3 hrs away. Pubs excluded.

Now, to wind back about 4 years i'd just started year 8. this was...my...6th year in a public school. Before then i lived in a station, or what you americans would call a ranch, basically its flat and brown all year round, no kids really. Didn't go well.
When i got to year 8, i got on my bus as usual, and on the way to my new school (further along the bus route i'd taken for many years). When one of the girls who was to be in my year got on, well i lost a few seconds of life, we'll put it like that.
Anyway, truth be told, she hated me right off, we became worst enemies for 2 years all compassion i'd felt left. But come late yr 9, when we'd finally matured and got some kind of sense into us, we actually just let be, by end of yr 10 i guess it was "We're not friends, but your alright". Yr 11 as it happens, pretty much had me as one of the rest, made good mates with all the guys in my class by then, everything was good, no arguments, no beefs, all friends no hate kinda thing. Still didn't go out to may of the shows and all, but i'd started to.

Then i started liking her again. Alot, i think she's the most beautiful and spirited person i've ever met (funny no?). Now when your really kinda shy to this business (like epic really), and you don't talk too much as it is. Yeah, as you can imagine. not good for the mojo. And now its yr 12. Kinda running it on a fine line now, but what can you do.

Sorry to bore you with my mundane problems. Just figured i'd put it out there that some have a worse...or rather, more awkward, situation.

[leroybrown]

If you can flirt, and she's the kind of girl who'll take it (be warned, we don't all take kindly to it)

I have 180'd a conversation that I thought I was going well because of this. But hey, live and learn.

[DunmerGirl]

hmm well i was daddys girl till i turned 13 then he bacame a raging alchoholic and we stopped getting along. he hasnt had a drink for about a year tho..however he still acts like a dick. (im 17 now by the way)

my moms a super high strung helicopter parent and a wine-o (dont her that often) aannnd we dont get along great either. everything i say [&@%!] her off

my sister and i are about four years apart and id say we have a pretty typical sisterly relationships where we get along decent and share secrets but fight sometimes...however lately (she just turned 13 wednessday) she seems to want less and less to do with me.

the person im closest to in my family is my grandather on my moms side...there was a time that i almost moved in with my grandparents due to major family issues and ridicuous tension. but sad sad news, the man is a farmer and recently (like a weekish ago) rolled a tractor over on himself because as he is "retired" he never quits going. he cracked his ribs in two places and is now in recovery

ON A HAPPIER NOTE:
My boyfriend and I will be celebrating our 10 months next tuesday and we are as happy as ever (:

[Avron the S'wit]

I must be honest with you, romantic relationships with friends can be difficult. Especially if your use to a normal friend relationship instead.

This. I was best friends with a lovely fellow who I ended up dating for five years. I'm not entirely sure what happened on his part, but when it ended (badly), I realized that, loved him deeply though I did, I would have rather come out of things with my best friend still by my side than have never knowing that sort of love at all. We were better friends than lovers, if only because we came to that pivotal point of getting serious or getting single, but after the way he treated me as one it became apparent we could never be friends again. That troubled me deeply for the longest time...and sometimes, I think it still does.

Relationships are fickle things; they take work on both sides. If you remember that, then everything else will fall into place as it shall.

That being said, we women appreciate honesty. You give a girl that, and you've very likely got her heart. Aren't we simple?

[DunmerGirl]

Yeahh friend relationships…are something else.
I dated a guy who was my best friend a while back and oh dear what a mess that was.
We were very similar and very close but it was uncomfortable and he came to be more interested than I was and breaking up was…hard….and awkward. We dated on and off several times…and we tried to remain friends but here we are a couple years later and we rarely talk…its sad ):
However my current boyfriend we met and hit it off quickly, became best friends and then a couple within a few months and now we’ve been together for almost 10

All I can do is wish you luck and hope it turns out more like me and my current than with my last.

Just be careful, and as said above, honesty is good (:

Women really are simpler than men think we are

[I_am_one]

Well, I'm planning on (well, going to) make a little gift for the girl I like. Some stuff that I wrote for her in one, physical collect. Pf course, I'll have to print it all out, which is a bit of a problem. I don't have a my own printer, so my computer isn't hooked up to one, and I can't use my dad's computer because the stuff is on my computer. Wireless-ly connecting the printer to my computer was the easy part. The hard part is going to be printing it out without anybody knowing (I have my reasons). I guess for now I play the waiting game, and hope it works out in the end.

[Leilah]

Well this is uncomfortable. Boyfriend's grandmother doesn't like me, and I've known it for ever. But apparently she doesn't like me so much that she discusses it with his sister, and after almost 7 years, the grandmother still wants us to break up. I find this out because said sister posts on Facebook that it amazes her how grandmothers would rahter have their kids unhappy than with a person they don't like. Then in a later comment, specifies that she's talking about her brother. Awesome.

[Luvitus]

Well, I'm single yet again..... But I'm gonna get her back
(We're on a "get to know each other more before we go out again" break)

[Vendetta]

My grandma........... my grandma........

lets just say there is a such thing as being over religious

[videogmer314]

My grandma........... my grandma........

lets just say there is a such thing as being over religious

Unfortunately, my grandma is the same way. Her fanatical Catholicism is actually one of the main reasons why I'm an atheist.

[Vendetta]

I'm still cristian, but I have a loose look at it. I'm like right in the middle of atheism and theism. I loved my grandma when I was really little, but when I got older I realized ALL she talks about is god, and she wants me to be exactly like her.... I still love her, just not as much...

[Dark Lord Cam]

Guys, no more religious talk ok?

[Vendetta]

Dont expect it not to happen in threads like this...

[Vendetta]

My other grandma = AWESOME
....... Until you do something bad and she gives you that akward satanic look......,.

[Luvitus]

Well.... My Grandma listens to Slipknot... HA!

[Vendetta]

...........my grandma is a stubborn Irish person.... HA