Oblivion best quotes

[Darzeit]

I love the guards and the townpeople when you are wearing the gray fox cowl and the most funny in the Final Resting quest whit the phrase

Today is your lucky day.

[NordFtw]

STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM.

[Argonanza]

Capital!

[Legoman]

You wouldn't happen to know what the fine for necrophilia is would you?

[Qwackie]

Have you seen all the rats around here? Its making me crazy! First this guy decides he's gonna make a million, opens a fancy restaurant: Rats in a Cream Sauce, Rat Flambe, Rat Necrom with Bonemeal Gravy, Deep-Fried Rat, Lemon Rat and Wild Rice, Rat Ragu with Powdered Deer Penis! Of course, when the guards found out, they ran his sorry butt out of town, but they left the rats. Rats!

Teehee.

[Argonanza]

"Yeah. Buy a goddam book. It's a bookstore, ain't it? Don't just go peeking at them! Buy one! I'm Bugak gro-Bol, and I say you better buy a goddam book. And right away, dammit!"

[MARS]

"I heard that thieves broke into the Arcane University, the Imperial Legion Compound and the Temple, all on the same night! wait a mintue lemme do that one again...I heard that thieves broke into the Arcane University, the Imperial Legion Compound and the Temple, all on the same night!"

[Dark Spark]

I, for one, would like to eat your eyes.

[John117]

"I saw the zaxor, and I nabbed it, too! Aw, fribble!"

[Jake-uh]

"Hello! I'm Dumag gro-Bonk. Best and prettiest smith in town"

"I'm J'zin-Dar. I tell you, so you can tell everyone who kicked the crap out of you. J'zin-Dar. Get it right"

"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you!"

[ch00_bakka]

"Why not? Something has to work. Once, I dug a pit and filled it with clouds. Or was it clowns? Doesn't matter. It didn't slow him down. To be honest, it wasn't the best idea. And it really began to smell. Must have been clowns. Clouds don't smell bad. They taste of butter! And tears."

[heratik]

"Let me show you my wares"

Or whatever it is that the the shopkeepers always say, makes my blood boil

[Mucro]

I'm suprised that I haven't seen this
"Cheese! Cheese for everyone!"
"Scratch that, cheese for no one".

or

"He knows alot, more than he knows".
Sheogorath is so awesome!

dug a pit and filled it with clouds.

My status

[BiasMonkey]

"A little busy here! I'm trying to decide what to have for dinner. Oh, how I love eating. One of my favorite things to do. Talk to Haskill if you need more information. He's got more brains than a brain pie. Oh... Brain pie! Perfect! Care to donate?"

or

"The Daedric Prince of Order! Or biscuits... No. Order. And not in the good way. Bleak. Colorless. Dead. Boring, boring, boring."

or

"They're getting more active every day. Not a good sign. You know what would be a good sign? 'Free Sweetrolls!' Who wouldn't like that?"

[Argonanza]

"Make up your mind, or I'll have your skin made into a hat -- one of those arrowcatchers. I love those hats!"

[Red Guardian]

"Do you know why Khajiit lick their butt? To get the taste from Khajiit cooking out of their mouths."

Or something.

[H8Ball]

Not one from Oblivion, but from me in a totally zany mood one day...

You never see Salmo baking Sweetrolls, so where does he get them? Hang on... Sweetrolls = Sweet Trolls? Aha! They're magic sugary doughy Troll droppings! And I ate 20 of 'em yesterday! Hold me back... I'll kill 'im!

[Darzeit]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klHCN1NjjLs
By the Nines! Such a thing is dangeorus even to handle (martin septim -mysterium xarxes delivering)

[lockycharms]

"Yes, oh great and mighty Grand Champion? Is there something you need? Can I carry your weapon? Shine your boots? Backrub, perhaps?"

[The Edgy Redguard]

"Ask yourself, how is it that mighty gods die, yet the Daedra stand incorruptable? How is it that the Daedra forthrightly proclaim themselves to man, while the gods cower behind statues and the faithless words of traitor-priests? It is simple... they are not gods at all. The truth has been in front of you since you first were born. The Daedra are the true gods of this universe. Julianos, Dibella and Stendarr are all Lorkhan's betrayers, posing as divinities in the principality that has lost it's guiding light. What are scholarship, love and mercy, compared to fate, night and destruction? The gods are trifling shadows of the First Causes. They have tricked you for ages. Why do you think your world has always been contested ground, the arena of powers and immortals? It is Tamriel, the Realm of Change, Brother to Madness, Sister to Deceit. Your false gods could not entirely rewrite history, thus you remember tales of Lorkhan, vilified, a dead trickster whose heart came to Tamriel. But if a god can die... how does his heart survive? He is daedroth! TAMRIEL AE DAEDROTH! "This Heart is the Heart of the World, for one was made to satisfy the other", you all remember this. It is in every legend. Daedra cannot die, so your so-called gods cannot erase him from your minds completely!" - Mankar Camoran

I find Mankar Camoran very quotable.

[JesterMotley]

"These slugs climbing my spine itch something fierce"

[PrinceShroob]

"Conviction can drive men mad. They will even kill to uphold the mistaken belief that only they see the world truly."

Haskill can be quite profound if you let him.

[Jcnator]

Baurus to a mudcrab:

"I HAVE FOUGHT MUDCRABS TOUGHER THAN YOU!"

[Elune]

"I ran into a couple of Goblins the other day..."

[Argonanza]

"Then you should run along. Fly, fly! Take off, now. Scat! Make tracks. Get going. Run for your life. And have a nice day!"