Taking flack from NPC's

[Ursula R. M. ●]

What do YOU do when an NPC is particularly mouthy, insulting, rude?

Many of you already know what I do, but what do you do??
I mean, I cannot be the only one who retaliates occasionally.

[MARS ●]

I cry and turn my computer off, then I eat a pound of chocolate.

[AKB ●]

I cry and turn my computer off, then I eat a pound of chocolate.

[Unionhack ●]

I cry and turn my computer off, then I eat a pound of chocolate.

[Ursula R. M. ●]

Really?? You guys trying to provoke me now?

[ZeRoc ●]

Personally it depends on the character I'm playing. If he's a good guy then nothing, but if he's even moderately bad, then it'll be Nazeem Rolff poor fool cakes for sure. (Quite literally if it's a cannibal character.)

[Mauin ●]

Depends on the character. The good ones will leave them alone (however, if I really don't like the particular NPC, I'll disable them and say they got themselves killed). The evil characters will kill them with no hesitation. Sometimes I plan the kills out, other times it's just spontaneous. The worst ones can get killed, resurrected as a zombie, and then killed again. Or maybe I'll Shout them off a mountain or something. Depends what I feel like.

[Ursula R. M. ●]

Mauin, that is pretty thorough. Resurrecting and re-killing. OOPSIE. My blade slipped and cut your throat.

[Rook ●]

I go to the Official Bethesda Forums, post a topic complaining about the NPC in question, make sure it's laced with profanity, acronyms and smilies and turn the computer off and go to sleep.

The next day, I wake up to a torrent of "u mad" comments and respond with an outdated meme. I then climb onto my roof, consider jumping but am ultimately too lazy to do so. I go to my kitchen, make a Hot Pocket, and go to play an ES game. I then start the cycle all over again.

Spoiler:

Like I would in real life, my character just ignore them and move on. Except for my Redguard assassin, he has anger issues.

[MARS ●]

Really?? You guys trying to provoke me now?

I am actually an annoying NPC in a TES game.

[Unionhack ●]

In all seriousness, NPCs usually don't bother me to the point of killing them. Usually.

There was that author chick on Oblivion whom I killed, filled a black soul gem with, and then dumped said soul gem into a lake.

[The SheoDovah ●]

By god, It's..... The Annoying Mars! :O

I ignore annoying NPCs as they don't really bother me. Even the adoring fan didn't bother me that much but if they ever introduce an NPC with Sticky from Fallout 3 level of annoying, i'll break my no killing of friendly NPCs rule and go to town on the [&@%!].

[SM-Dreamer ●]

I ignore most NPC's, but one or two of my characters have anger/impulse issues. While generally they don't kill the offender (unless they had the intention to do so), they do end up in jail for assault.

Then there's the assassin character who smiles and nods and waits for dark.

[dzio ●]

I had a character who planned elaborate heists whenever someone insulted her too much. She'd steal the valuables and later placed rotting food and compromising materials in well hidden spots around the house. And then I imagined the city guards investigating the robbery and finding the skooma, racy dresses and a copy of Lusty Argonian Maid under the bed and a barrel of smelly fish heads in the kitchen.

[Mattbott ●]

i sometimes get into trouble for fighting with npcs, usually if my hero has had a bad time of it recently

i recently fus - ro'd one guy off one of the streets in the higher parts of Markarth, i think he landed near the forge lol Once the guards get involved though, i usually come clean

[Jordy ●]

Flack from NPCs is one of the most irritating things about ES games for me, and all too often, there's nothing you CAN do about it.

You're the hero and saviour of the entire province, head of every guild going, helper of people and solver of problems, and yet so many NPCs still talk to you like you're the lowest scum imaginable, with condescension, dismissiveness or even threats. Yes, I'm looking at you, Maven Black-Briar. If you attack/kill them, you get in trouble with the guards. IMO, Bethesda really needs to include some sassy come-back options in the dialogue. Because most of the time, unless you want to end up in the slammer, the only thing you can do is just stand there and take it, which is really infuriating.

And if the NPC in question is Essential, you can't kill them even if you are willing to risk getting caught.

[likelolwhat ●]

100% agree with Jordy. Adding that, since I am on PC, I can disable them and just enable them when/if I need them for something.

But yeah. Die, Maven. Die.

[ZeRoc ●]

It helps that by the time you are a hero worth praise you are more than capable of spending 1000 gold on killing them... though the essential tag applied to many annoying people is immensely frustrating.

[Mefris Elmek ●]

In all seriousness, NPCs usually don't bother me to the point of killing them. Usually.

There was that author chick on Oblivion whom I killed, filled a black soul gem with, and then dumped said soul gem into a lake.

Alessia Ottus?While a minor character in the whole scheme of things I think she's a very interesting character (at least as far as Beth NPCs go).

[ZeRoc ●]

They could mean Quill-Weave, getting called a rat can get quite tiresome.

[Mefris Elmek ●]

At this point anytime someone mentions killing an author in Oblivion I automatically think of Alessia as she was probably the most killed NPC in the game besides the Adoring Fan.

[Ursula R. M. ●]

I particularly like/hate Jon Battle-Born. First your a Milk-drinker, then in less than 2 seconds your "kinsmen"
I personally think in some cases it's worth the bail just to give someone a hot-foot or a punch when they need it. (I always save, just in case the guards won't arrest, but attack instead)
Some other sneaky crime is fine too with my "bad" characters. (B&E, then shout and leave??)

[Snail's Pace ●]

"All I ask for is a little charity!"
-Silda the Unseen

One of my favorite lines in Skyrim. My main character has paid Silda tens of thousands of septims for pickpocket training (probably making Silda one of the wealthiest people in Windhelm) and gives Silda a gold septim every time she sees her. But Silda demands more!

It cracks me up every time. Far from making me want to retaliate, I'm amused by the insulting NPC's. Maven, Grelka, Rolff, Nazeem, etc. Though my main character drunkenly assaults both Rolff and Degaine from time to time, it's a just role-play thing...

Now that I'm playing Oblivion again I'm hoping to find similarly entertaining NPCs. The Dunmer in the Tutorial jail cell was a nice start. He called my female Breton a "stuck-up harlot with cheap parlor tricks." Good one, Valen.