UESP Forums

There are other ways to punish your kids. Using violence will make them resent you for it and somebody shouldn't have to endure physical pain. You shouldn't teach your children that violence is the best way to solve a problem.

but that only instills fear...

Re: Spanking and raising children:

You can't make a generalization like that. Not all children are the same, and not all of them require the same methods. Every child is different, and there are so many factors to consider on top of that. What did the kid do? Did it simply disobey you when you told it to do something simple or did it wreck the entire house?

I recall being hit on the hand with a stick by my mom, but not why. So I asked her about it, years later.

"Mom, why the [&@%!] did you hit me with a stick when I was little?"

It was because I kept sticking my fingers into plugs. My mom was saving my life 10 times a day by hitting me. Good deal, if you ask me.

Other than that, I was never spanked. I soon discovered that I could just not do my homework, so I started doing that. My parents kept trying to set me right, but it never worked, since I wasn't intimidated by them at all. All I thought was "lol suckers, I ain't doin' nothin'"

When my mom did slap me because I hadn't done my homework again (years after the whole thing had started), I wasn't impressed at all and just went on not doing anything. I've managed to weasel my way through life with this mentality until now, but it's becoming increasingly harder. I can honestly say that I wish my parents had set me straight, spanking or not.

Take my sister on the other hand. Same upbringing: No spaking, no nothing. She does her homework, usuallly does as she's told and is an overall acceptable daughter. How'd that work out? I'd say because she's not like me, and my parents' intended parenting method actually worked on her.

So you see, people should drop the "one right way" mentality. It's your goddamn kid, you should know how to raise it to be a proper person. If you don't know, find out. That's your job as a parent.

If you are getting spanked to the point that you are afraid of the spanking, then its called a beating at that point, and thats not good.

I can't be the only kid who didn't say "AH I'M AFRAID OF MY PARENTS NOW" the first time they spanked me.

But Mars, there is other ways to save people's lives than hitting them.

no it's a gradual and complicated psychological process, or i'm just derping

@scribbane- i guess it really depends on the family, i was never hit, my parents never a gave me a reason to misbehave, and i did they always told me why it was bad, seems more productive when both parents and child a healthy relationship where they can come a conclusion together. or something like that

I can't be the only kid who didn't say "AH I'M AFRAID OF MY PARENTS NOW" the first time they spanked me.

Text me when you've taught your toddler why it shouldn't touch electricity.

Actually, when my neighbor's kid was over at my house, we had plans to play outside, but we was playing with an outlet. I physically took his hand away from there, (that was as physical as it got) and didn't do anything the rest of the day except talk to him about how dangerous it was. This was about threee years ago, and he is still alive, not fried to a crisp.

I do think violence can in some cases be an acceptable means to do good.

Violence can do good, but you guys are worried about a lil spankin on the fanny?

@Scribbane: Regardless, the end result, when spanking is deemed necessary, is a child who avoids a certain behavior only/or in parts due to the possibility of punishment- I believe a parent should attempt to instill a sense of right and wrong in their child rather than reiterate the consequences.

My mom tried talking to me too. Didn't work, because I'm a stubborn [&@%!]. Read my post again. There's a reason I included this anecdote.

.

If she doesn't want to eat, I let her stay hungry. Forcing a kid to eat when they don't want to seems like a terrible idea--why would you train them to stop listening to their body's hunger and fullness cues when there's an epidemic of childhood obesity? Of course, if my daughter refuses to eat what I've served, there's no way she's getting an alternative, either, which is something I see other parents doing. Some folks will even prepare 2 different dinners every day, because their kid doesn't eat "grown-up food." Are you kidding me? My kid can name a dozen vegetables she likes, and her favorite food has been sushi since about age 4.