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Not safe for work

Gonna add on to the thread a little more here - http://img107.imageshack.us/img107/7167 ... on3hy2.png Picture I made in MS paint, no assistance from more developed programs. Safe for work.

Sir Raven, I like the way the "childish" spellings and artwork contribute so well to the whole feel of the comic. I am not being sarcastic (Honestly!)

GRRR... every time you say you're not being sarcy on the 'net makes you sound like you are... I truly am not being sarcastic with that comment, I do like the whole feel.

EDIT:walkman! game I made a while ago, but tweaked it today, the instructions are supposed to be in broken/simple English, as that was a little in-joke with my brother, who I made it for.

Extended instructions:
click a button for the number of rocks you want
Click start
Play the game per instructions
Dodging a rock = 1 point
Having a rock hit you = -2 points

there is a known bug, for one frame of the walking animation, you can't jump or duck, this can't be fixed, as I barely know any actionscript (I know enough to cobble together some games, like an RPG battle engine) but if you time it right, you can always dodge the rocks.

Have fun

Right, i'll do that.
But it was only the s- word that was Profanity right?
And what do you mean with 'Not safe for work'?

Bosses don't like you looking at swearing/nudity during work for some reason

Nudity? I didnt draw nudity!
Im 11, not perverted.
Just because i didnt give them clothes, doesnt mean that they're nude.

Well... swearing then...

Part Three has been published, dont miss it!
Just click this lovely link: http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e166/ ... omic-3.jpg
and be the first to see it!

Raven... did you play my game? Did anyone play my rubbishy but somewhat addictive game?

I did, I was terrible at it but, not bad.

I have tried it..
It's fun, but really hard
Highest score: 9
Anyway, i have to click 'refresh' to try again, if i click 'start'
it says 'Your score was: 0'.
Fix it please ?

Ah... I know why that is... The rocks remaining is still 0, I'll fix that.

There is a time when you have to jump/duck, and it's earlier than you think.

EDIT: Updated it so that when you press the button at the end, it takes you back to the beginning http://www.zshare.net/flash/174566902e3ca812/

Dogmantra, I've played your game 14 times so far, I love it, I can't get enough!

Heh... I live to please... it's quite addictive though... it's been sitting on my hard drive since I got my new 'puter (about a year ago) and I finally had a reason to play it constantly, so I thought 'Why not?'

Wabbajack got used on this thread.
Wait, wrong staff...Whatever.

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e166/ ... omic-4.jpg
Nr. 4 is up, and it's SFW!

Well Ill just post my photobucket album

http://s143.photobucket.com/albums/r121 ... /?start=20

Ooh I might right a story. Not unlike raven I am eleven years old, however unlike raven this will probably be rubbish.

Gravediggers (This is set in Cyrodiil)

"Dras, Quicken yourself! The legion pigs will be out to patrol soon and We shall never escape if we are caught! Never!"
"Am I not the most skilled Gravedigger in all Tamriel, Resvah?" Questioned Dras.
"Yes but-"
"Have I not evaded capture from the Legion for more than 40 years?" Demanded Dras, who was staring angrily into the eyes of a terrified Resvah.
"Yes, but The Imperial Legion are not renowned for their hospitality, They will sever our heads!" Stammered Resvah who was now shaking violently.
"Bah! I have no room for cowards, Resvah if you are too cowardly to learn the noble art of the gravedigger, Go and never come back." Snarled Dras.
A clank echoed across the graveyard and a shadow descended upon the master gravedigger and his apprentice...

I may add more soon. There are probably a lot of punctuation mistakes.

Chapter Five, Dungeon Explorers

Allinur sat on a bench in Chorrol, while thinking about the things he had done.
"Daydreaming again, are you?"
He opened his eyes and recognized the face.
It was Veldryn.
"I was not daydreaming..I were thinking."
"Whatever, who were you thinking about, huh? Still thinking about Rath are you?" Allinur saw Veldryn laugh.
"No, i was not thinking about Rath"

He pushed Veldryn away, and stood up.
"Anyway, i was comming to give you a unique chance"
"For what?"
"You my friend, are going on a adventure..With me!"
"Uhmm..right. To where, and when are we going?"
"We're going to explore a dungeon, filled with Goblins and necromancers."
"How'd you know that there's necromancers and goblins?"
"I dont know, i just said it to scare you."

Allinur hated it, when Veldryn tried to scare him.
Mostly because he's silly attempts to scare him failed everytime.
"Where is that cave, and what's its name?"
"It's not just one cave, it's like five or six.."
"What?! We're gonna get killed you know?!"
"I forgot to tell you, i brought some of my other friends with us."
He pointed at 5 nearby people in full battlegear, and told them to come.
"This is Calyth, Yriven, Oridel, Aurien and Yvidel. And this is Allinur"
"Hi..I'm Allinur.."

He watched their armor. Order of the Raven elite armor.
"So, you're from the Raven Order?"
"Yep. And by your armour i can see that you're not." The others laughed.
Allinur were only wearing a Flax Tunic and some sack cloth pants.
"Well, when I get to Daggerfall, i'm gonna join the Order.
But when are we going Veldryn?"
"At Midnight..We will be going at midnight."
"But why at midnight?" Allinur asked "Why not just now, or in a hour or so?"
"Because, if they see a group of 7 go out of the city, other Treasure hunters will be suspicious and follow after us. It's safer at midnight."
The group split up, and went to their houses.
Allinur didnt have a house, so he bought a room at the Gray Mare inn.

At midnight, he went to the Great Oak, as Veldryn instructed him to.
"So, we're all here?"
"Nope, we only need Aurien."
5minutes later, Aurien came.
The only thing that made her stand out from the group, was that she is female and Altmer.

"Sorry guys, a Bosmer tried to steal ingredients from my garden, so i had to deal with him first."
Allinur wanted to ask how, but then again, he didnt want to know how.
"So, lets go now" Veldryn said.
They went to the stables and mounted their horses.
"Hey, Veldryn..I dont have a horse."
"Just sit on the back of mine" he said.
"Ok" Allinur climbed on the back of Veldryn's.
The horses rode in full gallop.
"Onwards to Shinbone Cave!" Veldryn yelled.

I've used to be writing "books" if you could even call the books. Because i was about 6 years old when i did that. And i have a good laugh from myself when i read them again... Good memories though.
Well, instead of writing books, now i'm creating music, which isn't easier i think. But i guess i can't write my music with letters.
Now i read your post, The Raven, and i'm glad to see the activity you're doing. Really interesting. I should read past four chapters of your story too And i'll do it.... another day.

Reading this topic made me (re-)start work on my novel, I've written about two pages of background, politics and religion about the four races: Humans, Trolls, Dark Elves and Darker Elves. I've also drawn a map in Paint (as you probably guessed, this book is not going to be serious)

"Darker Elves" sounds kinda weird to me... It depends on content about that, but still it's not usual when two separate races are "Dark" and "Darker".Maybe "Black elves" or something would be better?
(Maybe i'm missing something really important though. I just haven't read previous posts now. And i don't want to offend you somehow, just to help. )

The story behind the Dark and Darker elves is a joke really, when I introduce them, I want people to think that there's Dark Elves and High/Light/whatever Elves, instead, there are also Darker Elves. They had so much darkness, that it looped around and they now live off Dreams and Happiness.

Here's the section from my background bit on Elves:

Elves – there are 2 different subraces of elves, the Dark Elves and the Darker elves, the Dark elves are a bloodthirsty society, who are always after more and more things to kill, they are quite possibly the strongest warriors, but a little thick in the head. The Darker elves, however, are so dark, that their darkness looped around, so they're the happiest, most loving culture in the world. Darker elves survive off dreams and happiness, rather than food and water like most people, this strange connection to happiness gives the Darker Elves an uncanny ability to channel magic, though they will rarely use it for combat, since they might starve to death. A crossbreed of a Dark elf and a Darker elf is possible, the result is a Darke elf, outlawed, not because they go against the nature of both Dark elves and Darker elves, not even because they have a tendency to have three heads, but because Darke is very bad spelling.

That explains the thing. Now i see "darker elf" way different creature than i imagined it is .
Now i'm quite interested in the story actually. Well it's always interesting to read or watch something what is somehow similar or related to Elder Scrolls.

*drumwhirl* I introduce the..Never gonna give you up parody. *drumwhirl ended*

And no, it's not a link to a rick-roll video or something like that.
For the uber paranoid types: http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e166/ ... Parody.jpg

I might as well just post all the background stuff here:

races:

Humans – the [&@%!] that no-one likes, they're the least technologically advanced and the worst at magic, if this was a game, I can't see anyone ever playing a Human, they just suck. Somehow, probably by intervention of the gods, Humans are the dominant species, it is true, however that any other race could take over, but most of them can't be bothered, they are also the most likely race to be found in a country not controlled by them

Elves – there are 2 different subraces of elves, the Dark Elves and the Darker elves, the Dark elves are a bloodthirsty society, who are always after more and more things to kill, they are quite possibly the strongest warriors, but a little thick in the head. The Darker elves, however, are so dark, that their darkness looped around, so they're the happiest, most loving culture in the world. Darker elves survive off dreams and happiness, rather than food and water like most people, this strange connection to happiness gives the Darker Elves an uncanny ability to channel magic, though they will rarely use it for combat, since they might starve to death. A crossbreed of a Dark elf and a Darker elf is possible, the result is a Darke elf, outlawed, not because they go against the nature of both Dark elves and Darker elves, not even because they have a tendency to have three heads, but because Darke is very bad spelling.

Trolls – Trolls are the most cultured of all races, they enjoy going to the theatre, wearing a monocle and a suit of tails, and what's more, they actually understand the opera. All the time spent going to the theatre and gossiping has made them neglect all training and bloodthirstiness, so they are extremely weak fighters, but they make up for it in persuasion skills. Of course, there are rogue trolls, who are shunned by the Trollish society, for being very brutish and outlandish. The Trolls first discovered magic, but found no use for it, other than lighting the stage.


The major gods:

Trollish gods: The trolls have the most gods, because of their superior culture, though they do worship one over all others, as the director of the gods

Okunire – The director of the gods, himself god of Monocles, he is the most widely worshipped entity in the world.

Mordan – The producer of the gods, he likes to think of himself as second in command, he's the god of Metaphor and Soliloquies.

Fortuna – One of the lesser gods in Trollish culture, but one of the most widely worshipped, after Okunire and Mordan. She is the goddess of Spotlights and Magic.

Kevin – Kevin is the enemy of the Trollish gods, he controls Cliché and Forgetting your Lines. He is still respected though, since if you make him angry, you may end up muddling your lines onstage, the biggest crime a Troll can commit.

Elven gods: The two Elven races are radically different, except in the gods they worship, no-one can explain this, though there are theories, the main one being that when the Dark Elves split from the Darker Elves, they were too lazy to come up with a new religion. All Elven god's names end in ae, because that means “deity” in Elvish, they are also all male.

Autrae – The main god in Elven culture, for Darker Elves, he represents Magic and Dreams, for the Dark Elves, he represents Killing Stuff.

Fintressae – Representative of the respective subraces' favoured tools, for the Dark Elves, he personifies Overly Large Swords, for the Darker Elves, he represents the Power of Love.

Human gods: Humans follow a monotheistic religion, for the simple fact that Humans like cliché, and like to worship a single god, who in this case, is named Linus, he is the almighty god of awesome. Or in a more refined terms, he's omnipresent, omnipotent and omni- pretty much everything else that a god can be.

On religion: The Four Races are very uptight about their religions, and the children are always brought up to worship the right gods, since the “Our Gods are Superior” act, every race agreed to stop the squabbling,and pretend that everyone follows the same religion as them; they even went so far as to destroy everything that suggested otherwise.

Politics:

The Humans control the isle of Stroden in the North-West and Torka, in the south west . They are ruled by 11 kings, and one advisor, who advises the kings on which king they should squabble with next, leaving the advisor to practically rule the kingdom. Another, mostly human settlement has risen to the east of Kintral, named Nortus, this follows the classic Human formula of having many kings and one advisor

The Dark Elves mainly inhabit Omaugi, in the south east, they are reclusive, and will normally retreat their borders if invaded. They are being gradually pushed back by the Nortans, and forced to move further into the mountains in the south. The Dark Elves are ruled by a Lord Protector, who is elected once every year, and voted for by the people, however, support is being rallied for a Dictatorship, because many Dark Elves agree that it would be easier, and they wouldn't have to vote.

The Darker Elves inhabit the northerly island of Xykzaxk, known to everyone, including them, because they can't even pronounce it themselves, as Happyland, considering their tendencies, this is a very fitting name. They need no government, since everyone lives off happiness, people go out of their way to make others happy for a quick snack, crime is not a problem.

The Trolls control Kintral, a central part of the continent, they are governed by a “Playwrite” as they call him, since they are so fond of theatrical metaphor, who runs the country quite smoothly, though occasionally making a mistake and getting “Booed off the stage” which is a complex ceremony, culminating in the current Playwrite to be stripped of their position, and another found. Most directors last about 1-2 years, though there have been some, like the famous Waveshalberd that stayed on for 33 years, and he was the only Playwrite to not get Booed off the stage, his career instead ending in his death.

Hahaha, i read that Dogmantra, and it's hilarious.
I would prefer to be a Troll

Because Dark Elfs seem to be extreme, and Darker Elves' lifes seem to only be pink world, with bunnies and butterflies, and Harts !!1oneone!!1!!oneone1

Chapter Six, Arriving at the Cave

It was 8AM when they arraived at the cave.
"Now we're here" Veldryn said.
He sounded fresh and hyperactive, but Allinur knew he were tired.
"Are'nt we gonna set up camp and stuff? Im really tired"
"No" Veldryn said. This time tired.
"Why not?"
"Because, it's too hot for a campfire, but without one, wild beasts and other treasure hunters can find and kill us."
The words struck Allinur like a dagger.
He kept quiet.

Allinur was about to fall asleep when Veldryn said.
"I made some coffee, want some?"
"Coffee? What's that?"
"Nevermind. It's just a drink that refreshes you. And, it tastes good."
He handed Allinur a cup of coffee.
"Mmm, it really do taste good. You should start a coffee shop or something like that. You could get rich on it."
"Naah, people will get addicted to it, like skooma"
"Hmm..Anyway, when are we going inside the cave?"
"That depends..Are you ready?"
Calyth, Yriven, Oridel, Aurien, Yvidel and Allinur all nodded.
"Good then. Lets go!"
They grabbed their weapons and ventured inside.