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Well, my Nord went in with a sword and killed Ulfric and Galmar. The Nordic way of living seems to have a Nordic way of dying.

RIP the entire non-essential population of Markarth.

Asani Varutha went on a minor rampage. She even brought in Odahviing to help.

Why was I refrenced here? I cannot be served and I actually prefer a greatsword to a warhammer.
Anyways, topic:
R.I.P Ulfric
You were one tough cookie- almost a worthy opponent. May you burn on your own special plane of Oblivion.

RIP Conjurer Novice
RIP Conjurer Adept
RIP Cojurer Apprentice.

You were all worthy foes. But Axe beats magic. I have yet to see a mage outsmart a battleaxe held by the Dovahkiin. Not that i'm challenging you as you almost killed me.

RIP bandits that were already dead in that cave near Riften. Turns out living in a frostbite spider cave is not a good idea.

RIP Dragon. That fight was pathetic. I'm not even at my prime and i killed you faster then it takes to wipe out an entire gang of bandits.

RIP Elgrim. Yeah, i was a bit bored and may have decided to slay you in order to test my might against the Riften guards. Turns out that i'm still not able to kill them. Dragons, sure. But guards?

RIP that Nord who has slain everyone on Skyrim. Turns out i had to wait in a queue before i could introduce him to my steel battle axe.

How unfortunate for you that Ulfric ends up in Sovngarde then.

R.I.P Talos-worshipper-guy-in-Whiterun
Sorry but you really got on my nerves- I regret nothing.

Most nords that died in honorable combat go to Sovngarde <_<

RIP Faendal I accidentally killed you (again) whilst clearing Hag Rock Redoubt, but I got some nice lute.
RIP Drascua you should have handed over the pommel stone and I wouldn't have had to kill you, although I probably would have because I like to be thorough.

Are you coming onto me Gandalf.
Also, R.I.P Kharjo
Legendary dragons were no match for you but you were no match for a Mudcrab.

Not joking either, must have been a glitch as this mudcrab went on to kill me horse, two patrolling guards and a giant camp before being stopped.
Which reminds me:
R.I.P Mudcrab God.
Your reign of tyranny, destruction and bloodshed was ended by a valiant Housecarl called Lydia as I ran screaming away like a little girl.

RIP Lord Harkon, Embry, Sigar, Alvor, Sigrid, Gerdur, Filnjar, Saliah, as well as countless Imperial Soldiers/Guards, Dawnguard/Dawnguard Vampire Hunters, chickens, cows, Thalmor Justicars, and various city Guards.

I was working on getting the Vampire Lord perk tree filled out. Vulom Staadnau is pleased with her work.

Aren't you glade you aren't a npc.

RIP All of Falkreath: The Full Moon came up and my game style DEMANDED that i turn into a werewolf at promptly 8 pm no matter where i was.

RIP Lod. Damn. Umm...so yeah, about you trying to fight that dragon...err...bad idea, homeslice. Elf could not believe your stupidity, so yeah, she just watched as you got jacked up. Then laughed.

Also, RIP Brelyna. Ahahahaha!! No one will ever find your body in the depths of Blackreach. As for my assassin? She gets away squeaky clean once again. Messing with a crazy woman's husband was a bad idea.

Oh sweet young girl struck down at the prime of life by petty insecurities.

Riiiiiigggghhhttt. If there is anything we can ever disagree on, my friend, it is this. Perhaps she should have had more respect for the sanctity of marriage, then she may not have been taken out by that Dwarven Centurion while Felina hid and watched her death with gusto. Oh, but now look, I have said too much! The story is well on its way to being written.

I feel you deliberately provoked said automaton

Oh sorry Dohvakiin, I've never been married in Skyrim. I didn't realize that when a man marries a woman he takes no vows, instead all the women that know him take vows.

^^ Smart [&@%!].

R.I.P Elenwen, I enjoyed beheading you and then placing your head on a dead prisoner's arse, desecrating remains has never been more fun tbh

RIP Isran, Agmaer, Beleval, Celann, Durak, Florentius Baenius, Gunmar, Sorine Jurard, and probably a few more I've forgotten.

The raid on Fort Dawnguard was successful. Vulom regrets nothing of what she did.

RIP warlocks at Fort Kastav, and thanks for the perk.
RIP about half the guards in Windhelm. Can't two ladies sip a little blood in your town without being molested? As for you, Brunwulf Free-Winter, count yourself lucky that you're apparently essential.
And RIP Nils the cook. Look, I'm sorry, but couldn't you just let me feed without making a fuss? Meh.

RIP the Orcs of Largashbur.
Those Giants still hate you guys. I got a Letter of Inheritance pretty much every time I fast traveled to a city today. Eventually, I got no more. Giants must have finished you off today.

RIP all the Dragons I needlessly slaughtered to test my "Dragons Shout!" mod.
I feel sorry for you guys. Though I suppose the fact that I helped out an odd friendly Dragon earlier makes up for some of it... Or, rather, very little of it.
Though I do think that some of you deserved it for repeatedly disarming me. I lost count at around 30.