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RIP Grelod the Kind,

HA-HA!

RIP Deekus the Argonian. I took your treasure and you got [&@%!].

Guess who's floating in the sea now?

RIP Ulfric Stormcloak. I hate you and everything you stand for, but, dammit if you didn't die a warrior's death. Galmar, was convinced my the simple words FAAS RU MAAR to hide in a corner while I slaughtered his master... And his honor. Before smashing his skull in with my fist. The laws of irony must be obeyed.

R.I.P. Tullius...you looked like a pedophile...no offence.

R.I.P Ulfric Stormcloak, who died in the most awesome way possible, being shouted to death by a drunk Breton. May you rest in pieces.

RIP Ancano. Died a good death...... Torn apart by angry atronachs after I came "this" close to turning him inside out.....

RIP: random hedge wizard challenger: Yes I DO dare to call myself a wizard..... Obviously it is justified for me.

RIP random dog that decided to team up with me on the way to Wolfskull cave. At least you showed those Thalmor your teeth before they burned you alive.

RIP Aerin. You wandered too close to a grumpy mammoth on the way from Markarth to Riften. I didn't intervene. Sorry bud.

RIP Frost. I doubt Louis-Letrush would make you fall off a cliff like I did.

P.S: It was an accident.

RIP That first Draugr Scourge Overlord I killed in one shot with my new Firestorm spell. You died awesomely.

RIP Neetrenaza; died 4th of Frostfall 4E 201 in a Dragon's mouth. You were a funny guy.

"The Nords don't appreciate us, but so what? I don't appreciate them right back."

Bahaha.

RIP: Berlin, My husband..I think you had a serious case of PTSD and jealousy, firing arrows at my housecarl.

RIP: My Housecarl, whom after murdering my husband in cold-blood I took him to a nordic ruin and activated a pressure plate for a swinging spike gate. How'd that feel, you horrid man?

RIP: Shadowmere, you died a valiant death fighting the Forsworn. I killed each and every one in your memory, you shaggy red-eye steed.

RIP: Marcurio, you were a pleasant companion, even if you talked a LOT. How'd you like Boethia, by the way?

RIP: a noble Ivarstead chicken, killed by a bear I lured into town. The guards were slow to react.

RIP Uthgerd the Unbroken, I wouldn't have sacrificed you to the altar if you would stop talking smack to me even after I beat you.

RIP Farengar, next time don't mess with my dragon buddy.

RIP Erandur, sorry, I actually trusted Vaermina given your track record, but whatever, you would've been a useless companion anyways. I mean, apprentice level destruction spells and you don't even summon anything? Orly?

RIP Deekus, sorry for killing you when you're just sitting in your chair watching the ocean, but you're not quite worth the 400 gold I got from the contract.

RIP Aerin, what the hell were you doing in the middle of some dwemer ruins anyways? I mean yeah, I accidentally hit Mjoll a couple times too many, but really? You come and try to kill me with your stupid iron dagger in the middle of some Dwemer ruin? How the hell did you even make it past the Falmer?

RIP All the Imperial Guards of Solitude, I'm just trying to kill a god damn emperor, get off my back will ya?

RIP Amaund Motierre, I wouldn't have killed you except one of your last lines "oh but you care little for politics, you want MONEY, and money you shall have!", might as well just said "oh you don't care about politics, you're just a dumb assassin."

RIP Mr. Mede, I actually kinda liked you, but you gave me permission so it's cool right..brah?

RIP Faendel, accidentally killed you in a dual wielding frenzy along with four bandits.
RIP Marcurio, accidentally killed you with a Fire Storm when fighting a Draugr Deathlord.
RIP Lydia, I don't even know what happened to you. Sorry.
RIP 38 Haafingar guards, you guys should just know to lay off of a brotha.
RIP all the Thalmor I killed, I don't like you people.
RIP 2/3 of Solitude population, I felt like killing everyone then resurrecting you're friends to kill the rest of you. It it helps, I felt bad about forcing you're friends and family to eat you're brains.
RIP Reach Stormcloak Camp, Fus Ro Dah'd all you guys off a cliff. Bad mood, sorry.
RIP Whiterun Imperial Camp, half of you died from a Frost Dragon, other half because I killed you after you attacked me because I 'got too close'. It it wasn't for my horse you would all be dead.
RIP Uthgerd the Unbroken, I got a letter of inheritance for 10 gold after you died of unknown circumstances.

RIP: Ochendor. You have died like 12 times already.

RIP: Farkas. You were right vilkas was smarter

RIP: Alvor. I told you to run away from the frost dragon and you didn't listen

R.I.P. Lydia. Dont worry, i spend the inheritance at one place.

R.I.P Lydia
Wanted to use unrelenting force on a frost troll on the way to High Hrothgar. You decided you wanted to fly too. Hope the view was nice.

R.I.P Marcurio
Sword strike gone horribly wrong.

R.I.P Nazeem's Wife
Your husband on a frenzy poison wasn't the best way to go, but hey, at least I chopped his head off.

R.I.P. Falmer Servants
I don't even know. Why ... ?

Sigrid just got smoked by a fire dragon.

RIP Sven. I know I only backed you to have you killed, but I didn't plan for you to get hit by that rockfal trap I triggered. I had hoped to Fus you off a cliff.

RIP Severio Pelagia. You should've ran away with a horse from your stable instead of looking around while the Stormcloak Army was nearby.

RIP: Faendal, I wanted to test wabbajack and I didn't know you would become a pile of gold coins

RIP: Thalmor Justiciar, I turned you into a sweetroll, I ate it

RIP: Dwemer research guy at the college, I don't really know what happened to you....

R.I.P. Lydia. You gave me attitude so I sacrificed you to Boethiah. Have fun.

You killed my wife!