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»UESPOINTS!
UESPoints (UP) are a chance for all you lovely UESP users to earn reward points for your achievements and for participating around the forums. The CotM is now awarding UESPoints as a prize, in addition to the usual 1st place prize of the purple coins.
Here's how it will work: When the voting period is over, UESPoints will be awarded based on what position you came in.

1st Place - 3 UESPoints + Purple Coins
2nd Place- 2 UESPoints
3rd Place - 1 UESPoint

2nd and 3rd place have to have at least two votes to qualify for UESPoints.

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Ingredients
Jar of Netch Jelly
Jar of Scrib Jelly
Crushed Fire Pedals
Essence of Hack-Lo
Hack-Lo Leaves
Moonsugar
Sea Salt
Chitin

10 Mora Tapinellas
1 Taproot
4 Ash Yams
Scrib Meat
Matze

The Entree
First things first, we need to make a good impression, and what better than with this appetizer. So what you need to do is grab those ash yams and start cutting them into wedges, or chips if you prefer. Once properly cut, its now time to add the flavor. Grab the kwawa egg and crack it open, feel free to use the shell as a makeshift bowl but for now we'll stick with clay. Make sure to properly stir and break the yoke, adding in drops of Hack-Lo essence to really bring in the savory. Once finished, we're going to brush the edges of the ash yam wedges generously.

Top off with a small pinch of sea salt over top, and now off to the grill they go. Over a mellow flame we want each of these wedges cooked evenly to a crisp. Try not to burn them, nobody likes a burnt yam after all. After thats out of the way, it's time for its presentation. In a circular pattern, place ever wedge upon the plate, leaving enough room for a small dipping jar of Netch Jelly and Scrib Jelly, just to add variety and complexity to the flavors

Main Course

Next up is a personal delight of mine, and one sure to gain the quick affection of any Dunmeri youth who's a lil home sick. For this one, well start by washing the mushrooms. For here we're using Mora Tapinella but honestly any edible native mushroom will do, frankly the variety is encouraged! None the less, after all are cleaned, begin placing them upon the chitinous plate where a bedding of Hack-Lo leaves should lay. Before we continue, find hold of the scrib meat and begin shredding it into strips of jerky. And just as the mushrooms before we'll be adding this to the very same mix. Top off with some Hack-Lo essence, and crushed Fire Pedals

Once done, let rest in an open pit of embers and coal. As the chitin heats up, it'll begin to cook te ingredients upon it, and small amounts of steam from the process and the fresh Hack-Lo will help thoroughly cook the tender meat and mushrooms. If you have the means or utilities to do so, roasting the batch may prove more grand but maybe not as homely

Dessert

Ah, the finishing dish is the most important, and the very reason its a fan favorite amongst many Telvani. While admittedly rare to come by in the markets, one can always benefit from what nature provides. A taproot, the heart of a spriggan suspended in an alchemical solution comprised of spring water and moonsugar. The resulting sweet solution makes the taproot all the more soft in texture while offering some means of preservation. It is like dining into the very heart of nature herself, a symbolism not lost amongst this season. When served upon a small plate, it is best to decorate with a large assortment of alchemical flowers. It is such a rare experience indeed, and one best shared with another
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Welcome to Cooking with the Madgod! And Haskill

WELCOME, mortals. TO THE KITCHEN OF GUTS! Or was that skulls? Wait, ah, never mind. Welcome to a feast for your lover!

To start your entree or entrails, i can never remember which is the mortal starter meal. You shall need

1 dead argonian
half a dozen kittens
2 dogs
CHEEEEEEEEEEEESE!
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Some nightshade
your innards
and a hat ful of

FLOWERS!

Step one:
Ram the kittens into the dead argonian.

Step clown:
Toss into the nearest volcano for half an hour. Remember, it must be mostly charred or it will be undercooked.

Step 3: Dice up the dogs using a silver sword. Spread over the argonian.

Step 4: COVER THEM IN CHEESE and a hint of nightshade.

EAT IT MORTAL!


For your main meal

You will require:

A cloud
A jester
A dragonborn's blood
A splice of argonian and dark elf
and

SOME

MORTAL

HEROES!

To attend your feast. I usually invite that Champion fellow and that dragonboy to feast with me and lady Sheo.

Step 1: Mix them all together.

Step 2: Telll Jygsy to bugger off.

Step 3: Prepare the brain pie yesterday and cook a shepard in a pie for the main course.

Step 4: Serve in a cloud. The jester is a snack.


For Deserts:

SAND! You shall have wonderful, colourful sand! SAND!


Haskill also says hello.