General Discussion

BetaB17 · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:34 pm

[&@%!]. Gold.

Just when you think it cant get better. It does

Edit: Reading this post on a new GD page gives an accurate example of how awesome the op could of been. It sums up everything that is GD

The SheoDovah · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 12:49 pm

I'm not one to repeat myself but i feel this is the only way to post something that is suitable for GD.

I saw a mudcrab the other day, what horrible creatures.

MARS · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 1:00 pm

I've got more.

Hidden:

BetaB17 · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 1:18 pm

XD Oh my god, this needs to be an animated parody. Just has to

Up Next: Thor: Aussie God of Bushfires

MARS · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 1:20 pm

Actually, it's Daredevil and a special guest.

Quote:

Hidden:

The SheoDovah · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 1:23 pm

What the fish?!(Cutting down on swearing thus using other words)

I... you.....

I leave.....

You....

*grabs coat and leaves GD*

BetaB17 · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 3:12 pm

Dirty Spaceman wrote:

But they did, so I was quite obligated to go in it. Spaceman Science: we do what we must, because we can.

Aperture Science has called, they want their motto back

Aarah · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 3:23 pm

Mars, are you Anna?

@Dov Where did you see the mudcrab?

ProphetDragon · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 3:25 pm

Whenever I sleep on the sofa, I get crossover dreams.

Today I saw the ending of return of the Jedi.

1. Luke and Leia celebrate with the Evoks.
2. Imperial March begins to play.
3. Evoks kill all the rebels.
4. One of them stabs Luke saying "The Sith send their regards".

MARS · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 3:27 pm

Aarah wrote:

Mars, are you Anna?

Yes.

Here's another story.

Hidden:

Quote:

canadian crocodile dundee

obviously he lives in an igloo and is pale as milk because he spends his entire day inside

his igloo because there are no crocodiles in alberta. crocodile dundee is sure he's gonna

catch a crocodile one day tho eh

no good to make fun of him let a guy live

so his entire life since birth crocodile dundeh has lived in that igloo practicing his croc

knockout move. obviously he doesn't want to kill the crocodile he just wants to roughouse

and apologize afterwards

so he's practicing his move

hes got his hockey gear and his father's hockey stick

his father was alligator dundeh and when he got too fed up waiting for an alligator to show

up he sold his maple tree forest to import a live alligator

but its cold in alberta so the alligator didn't feel too hot (get it ha ha ha) and died

alligator dundee was devastated and went to meet the only honorable end: encasing himself

in maple syrup until his son knocked out a crocodile

so what crocodile dundeh practiced, was his move, which went like this eh: he takes the

hockey puck and covers it in maple syrup so that it's all slippery but also sticky. he goes

out of the igloo in full hockey gear, trying not to fall down in the snow with his ice skates

and milks his moose. from the moose milk he makes fresh moose butter and covers the

hockey stick in it. then he prepares the swing

he swings

the puck doesn't move because it's covered in sticky syrup and the stick is covered in

moose butter

the plan is

to surprise the crocodile so much that he closes his mouth

because a crocodile can't exactly drop its lower jaw

it has to drop its upper jaw

making the mouth closed

then crocodile dundee yells "HOTLINE BLING NEVER CHARTED IN CANADA BUT

CANADA WAS THE BIGGEST EURODANCE MARKET AFTER EUROPE IN THE 90S!"

and wrestles the croc

assuming the croc ever arrives

hey theres a reason they made crocodile dundee live somewhere where theres crocodiles

the story isnt over but i gotta think

[&@%!] im gonna go into therapy thinking about canadian crocodie dundee

so french canadians. theyre worse than the french french. ofc they keep crocs to use for

vile animal cruelty-rich dishes

so crocodile dundeh put ice skates on his moose and rode to montreal on his ice skating

moose. no classic comedy is complete without ableist humor so crocodile dundeh parked

his moose in the handicapped spot

the Le Policèmane asked him where his disability cert is

crocodile dundeh says hes handicapped because he lost a hockey pad on the way

Le Policèmane says le penten mèrde cornard and goes to eat a french canadian croissant

crocodile dundeh tells his moose to wait and starts ice skating across the tar streets of

montreal smashing in car windows to ask where he can find a crocodile but no one

answers him

after three days and three nights of ceaseless ice skating across the tar streets of montreal

it hits him

he smashes in someones window and asks

Le soireyê pôűr lè windowee

where c'est Le Croicoidiləè?

so the montreal car drives him to Le Gourmet Restaurant. crocodile dundeh walks in and

starts cheering as he sees the crocodiles dining, instead of being dined upon, with surprise.

regardless he goes up to one and slaps him on the snout with his hockey glove

the crocodile makes a crocodile sound and runs after the swiftly skating dundeh

he has to get to his moose to get the moose butter and maple syrup

its a wild chase and all the french canadians are cheering the croc on to eat the canadian

canehdian

he reaches his moose and dunks the hockey puck in the syrup

theres no time to make moose butter

the crocs jaws are wide open and dundeh cant do his move without moose butter

dundeh kneels down on his fathers, the syrup encased alligehtor dundeh's hockey stick

ready for death he utters two holy canadian words

"sorry eh?"

in that moment the moose lets out a huge ass fart

the croc's jaw drops shut hes about to [&@%!] die

dundeh is imprevious to this alberta native odor

he jumps up and roughouses the croc, screaming "CANADARIM BELONGS TO THE

MOOSE"

the croc eventually leaves to retreat back to the safety of Le Gourmet Restaurant

crocodile dundeh has fulfilled his purpose

he saddles his loyal moose, his best friend

justin bieber gives him a fistbump as dundeh and his moose skate out of montreal while

rush blast their best song

out of a helicopter

triumphant dundeh returns to his igloo, sipping his tim hortons bevarage

he goes to see if his father has emerged from the holy syrup eh

but alligator dundeh has long since asphyxiated, his lungs are full of the eternally flowing

syrup

it is a bittersweet ending for crocodile dundeh

but hey maple syrup straight from the elder tress is bittersweet too eh?

Le Fin

(sorry for the french, they said i didnt have to pay damages if i used french)

edit: sent this to Northerlion with a request to read out on his live show. Here's hoping!

Dirty Spaceman · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:19 pm

That's actually just a day in the life of the average Albertan. Source: I know at least four people from Alberta

Crawldragon · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:04 pm

Do British Superman next! Superbloke! I want to see Clark Kent arguing with a World Cup referee about the proper pronunciation of "aluminum" with a cup of Earl Grey in one hand and a kebab in the other!

Dirty Spaceman · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:08 pm

Nah forget that, I want to see British Captain America. I don't mean some kind of Captain Britain or whatever, I mean Captain America. But British.

ZeRoc · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:10 pm

So Captain New-England? Or Captain Colonies?

Aarah · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:11 pm

Clark is a very American sounding name. Superbloke would have to be Charles Kent, or to his mates in The Daily Planet, Charlie.

leroybrown · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:20 pm

Am back from today's run and thought of a cool idea as I was running: It would be neat if we (who exercise) wore go pros as we travel our respective neighborhoods. I'm not gonna do it because I'm sure you all are secretly Illuminati and are planning on taking me out but if that wasn't the case that would be a neat way for us to get to know each other better. I wanna see how my area differs from you folks across the world. I'm obsessed with cultural stuff like that.

Crawldragon · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:29 pm

leroybrown wrote:

Am back from today's run and thought of a cool idea as I was running: It would be neat if we (who exercise) wore go pros as we travel our respective neighborhoods. I'm not gonna do it because I'm sure you all are secretly Illuminati and are planning on taking me out but if that wasn't the case that would be a neat way for us to get to know each other better. I wanna see how my area differs from you folks across the world. I'm obsessed with cultural stuff like that.

I don't have a GoPro but I did use Zombies, Run! back when I had a phone that could run it and I was pleased by how accurately it tracks my running route. Had some issues getting the tracking to actually work, but I assume they've patched that by now.

Aarah · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:34 pm

leroybrown wrote:

Am back from today's run and thought of a cool idea as I was running: It would be neat if we (who exercise) wore go pros as we travel our respective neighborhoods. I'm not gonna do it because I'm sure you all are secretly Illuminati and are planning on taking me out

Don't worry. You didn't make it onto our list.

KingFeraligatr · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:56 pm

The Illuminati is so 1785. I'm part of another conspiracy, that I run. But now that I have mentioned my even more secret conspiracy, we will have to kill you. Or we can torture endlessly for the rest of your life my making you endlessly watch [&@%!] baby/kid shows! Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahhaufohau;fha;uwhf ;oahduowahfoa;hfo;awhfoiawhfioawhofihawfihawifhwaifhaiofhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahadoiwahiodhoadhahahahahahahahahahahaha!

VirtualWeasel · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:23 pm

Crawldragon wrote:

I'm technically getting loads of exercise because I often have to walk four miles to get to work, but it's all focused on my legs and bizarrely doesn't seem to be burning any fat.

From what I've experienced, fat doesn't start to burn when you're walking until you start walking 7 miles or more a day. If you want to start burning fat at your regular 4 mile commute, I would suggest carrying a backpack with around 15-30 pounds of weight in it. Doesn't matter what the weight is, but I guarantee you the extra weight will not only burn fat if done consistently, but will really help shape up your upper body (mostly shoulders, chest, and back, though it takes a lot of core strength too) as well.
And yeah, like you said, dieting helps too, but unless you're overweight, it's not necessarily a concern you need to have. Eat well, but don't make yourself suffer for it, is my philosophy.

Crawldragon · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:27 pm

VirtualWeasel wrote:

Crawldragon wrote:

I'm technically getting loads of exercise because I often have to walk four miles to get to work, but it's all focused on my legs and bizarrely doesn't seem to be burning any fat.

From what I've experienced, fat doesn't start to burn when you're walking until you start walking 7 miles or more a day. If you want to start burning fat at your regular 4 mile commute, I would suggest carrying a backpack with around 15-30 pounds of weight in it.

I don't think I have a bag big enough to carry that much weight plus my work uniform, but I'll give it a go. I do need to eat healthier, though; should probably get out of the fast food business.

VirtualWeasel · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:33 pm

It's better to have a backpack with at least a waist strap to carry it with, too. That much weight primarily on your shoulders can cause a lot of pain, so I'd recommend getting one with a waist strap, but it doesn't have to be one of those fancy backpacking packs.
There are some pretty cheap options out there, so if it's something you'd be interested in doing, I'd definitely recommend something like that.

Crawldragon · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:37 pm

VirtualWeasel wrote:

It's better to have a backpack with at least a waist strap to carry it with, too. That much weight primarily on your shoulders can cause a lot of pain, so I'd recommend getting one with a waist strap, but it doesn't have to be one of those fancy backpacking packs.

Yeah, I used to carry my laptop back and forth in a messenger bag, one of the big chunky ones, and I ended up walking through a lot of pain. This was easier in college. I'll have a look in the local shops and see if I can find a proper backpack; they've got to have some with school season approaching. As for weight I have about a metric ton of books sitting on my desk that should be able to do it.

BetaB17 · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:09 pm

leroybrown wrote:

I'm not gonna do it because I'm sure you all are secretly Illuminati and are planning on taking me out.

Psf, thats crazy talk. As if, right? We're honest, are we not?

:

The SheoDovah · **Posted:** Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:45 pm

KingFeraligatr wrote:

The Illuminati is so 1785. I'm part of another conspiracy, that I run. But now that I have mentioned my even more secret conspiracy, we will have to kill you. Or we can torture endlessly for the rest of your life my making you endlessly watch [&@%!] baby/kid shows! Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahhaufohau;fha;uwhf ;oahduowahfoa;hfo;awhfoiawhfioawhofihawfihawifhwaifhaiofhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahadoiwahiodhoadhahahahahahahahahahahaha!

*walks straight back out of thread*

Let me know when y'all back to normal, GDers!

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