UESP Forums

» Members can contribute pieces based on the talent (writing, art, screenshots, etc.) and theme during the submission period, after which no further entries will be accepted. Then we will vote via a poll to see who gets to wear that month’s winner’s badge!

» If you are posting artwork, please post a link from an off-forum website such as Photobucket; if you are posting a written piece, please hide it under a spoiler when creating a new post. This is to ensure that posts are not too long and the thread appears orderly for everyone. If you are unsure how to do either of these, don’t be afraid to ask!

» Be respectful and polite about your fellow members’ work. Anyone who says anything rude about another’s work will be hearing from a member of the Mod Squad and may not be allowed to participate in the next competition. There is no such thing as “good” or “bad,” and everyone has a unique way of demonstrating his or her talents. Enjoy the variety!

» All members are welcome to join, including moderators. Don’t forget that we’re members, too!

Super long stuff here!

Rosethorn Hall
Ah, Skingrad, home of the prim and proper, and three times prize winner of the "City With the Least Secrets" Competition.
But what is a city without its citizens? Why it'd be a ghost town then! Skingrad is home to many citizens, all with their own abilities and trades. Our houses are top notch, ranking only 2nd highest in the "Best Cydrolic Homes" Pageant. Losing only to the illustrious cabins of the Imperial City.
To get to the point, we have it that a certain Mr.Trebatius shall be leaving his abode, Rosethorn Hall, to come live in the castle, hopefully as a permanent resident.

Rosethorn Hall is a three story house, with a large basement containing food storage and servant quarters (very well kept, of course!). The middle section boasts an illustrious dining room, in which to drink and chat with acquaintances of old, and a marvelous entryway, with which to greet those acquaintances as they tread across your doorstep and onto your rugs. There is also a second room, where you might put your treasures on display, Minotaur horn or silver arrow perhaps?

The stairs in the display room lead up to the second floor, where you might keep books, and read in your den. There is plenty of room for artwork, and a door leads to a balcony, providing a breathtaking view of the streets!

And the master of master bedrooms is located at the top floor. You could fit five double bed's easily, something your lover(s) should be interested in, if you get my meaning. (;

All in all, Rosethorn Hall is the pride of Skingrad: there is nothing wrong with this house, nothing strange, but everything is a magnificently normal. And in a good way!

We hope to see you soon!
-Hal-Liurz, Steward of the Exceptionally Normal Count, Janus Hassildor
PS: ThiS hows is amezing, plz by!!!
Shut up, Shum!-Hal-Liurz
Wel yu wer qUit load last nigt-sHuM

Get your wacky wooden wavy mace man at Algar's store. Due to an error made by my assistant, I have too many wacky wooden wavy mace men so come on down and pick one up today. Use one to guard your sweetrolls, your Lydias and those that you hold precious to you. Or prehaps to guard your treasures. Got a problem with thieves? Use this to put them off it or as a decoration. For only 49 septims, one can be yours.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Welcome to Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. I'm your host Hjor Milklover. On this week's episode, we see how the legendary Dragonborn lives. Does he live in a manor fit for a king or just a piece of [&@%!] [&@%!] that I live in because of that [&@%!] who stole my house from me? Ahem, what i mean is, let's go inside.

Lakeview Manor, a house built by the dragonborn and has a wonderful view of the lake. It's quite large and it is said that Gharel Dragonsbreath built it with his bare hands. Also, why the [&@%!] does he get an excecllent last name and i get called a [&@%!] milklover?

Let's go inside, Gharel is off doing dragonborn crap but has given us the go ahead to show his wonderful home to you. The Entrance hall has a simple but effective Nordic style. The door is made out of wood but a skull of a dragon hangs off it. He has many plants in various pots around the entrance hall. And many potraits. A single wooden table and a chair. Futher on, is the actual manor. And it is huge. He spared no expense when he built it. It's the same Nordic style but many things adjorn the wall. From weapons to potions. Wonder if he has a potion to help me get it up? wait, you heard that? Oh [&@%!]!

Ahem, on our right is the kitchen and i did not believe he would be one for making Sweetrolls. He has an oven and a open pit. His food is hung up and many pots are on the counters. A knife made out of DRAGONBONE!? So yeah, he cuts his food with a [&@%!] dragonbone knife. But that's enough about the kitchen. If we go to the left, there is a study. By Talos, how many books does he have? I mean, there are 10 bookshelves crammed into this room and a fireplace. as well as stuffed heads of deers,wolves,Mammoths and a katana hanging above the fireplace. As well as a basket full of soulgems. He also has an Enchanting station and an Alchemy lab. wait, he has Dirty Elves 9? That was banned by the high king!

Now we arrive at his bedroom and he has many altars for the gods. The bed itself is fit for a king and more weapons but in display cases this time. A model with dragonbone plate is opposite of his bed and a large safe. Wonder if he keeps the Elder Scrolls in there? Oh and some worthless burnt books. And more bookshelves. But it's time for the ad break.

Did you take an arrow in the knee and was forced to stop your adventuring? Well, moan no more for M'aiq's knee protection shall enable you to adventure one more! We have many choices. From the simple iron to Ebony with many designs. So tell the Jarl to shove off and return to adventuring. Disclaimer:M'aiq is not responsible for your wife leaving you,dragons eating you, mudcrabs,Forsworn attacks,Vampires feeding on you, Dwemer things attacking you in your sleep, Thalmor arresting you for bearing the Talos sign,bandits,mammoths taking a dump on you in your sleep etc..

Welcome back.

We are in Gharel's trophy room and it is filled with models of those he has slain. From cave bears to dragons. And more weapons. And another bookshelf. Let's go to his basement.

His basement is very wide and features a forge with the basic things that you need for being a blacksmith. And more books in their shelves. Also, several wooden tables with unfinished works on and general storage. And a sweetroll room. It's very small but i can sense several powerful enchantments on the door. Seriously? They are just [&@%!] sweetrolls, i mean who the [&@%!] cares about sweetrolls that much? They are nice but you can find them anywhere?

Into his garden we go. It's large and has various plants growing. Near it is a vein of clay and several logs. And that's Gharel's manor.

Next time on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. We finally get to see Avron the S'wit's house. And I've just been told, i've been fired. So [&@%!] you all Skyrim. [&@%!] your weather, [&@%!] your customs, [&@%!] your dragons, fu...

Wanted:A new host for Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Must had a good eye for detail, not a thief and not a milkdrinking dick that we previously hired. Oh and able to handle a weapon.

OH!







M'aiq did not see the adventurers come in. They are too quiet, or perhaps M'aiq plays too much Grand Theft Horse. No matter. He sees them now, and he guesses why they have come.


M'aiq knows some, tells much. You adventurers have a contest, yes? And you wish to know where M'aiq lives? Then he will show you...













(scrolls down, adventurers. M'aiq must format for dramatic effect)











____________

This is the place where M'aiq lives. It is in the land of Sovngarde, a house known to the Nords as the Hall of Valor. M'aiq calls it his Pimp Palace; he thinks his name has a better ring to it, don't you? Here, M'aiq lives with many things: heroes of Nord legend, dragons, children, cliffracers, even sheep. M'aiq took the sheep here for safe-keeping. You will get them back when the dragons are gone.

The Hall has an armory, and inside M'aiq has many weapons which he can use, crossbows mostly, and also spears. You may not touch them, for they are too dangerous to be used by adventurers of such low levels as you.

Food, there is much, but M'aiq does not care, for he does not get hungry. M'aiq thinks that eating every day only makes one fat.

There is a fish outside. The fish is dead, all bones, and M'aiq does not know why it is there. That is why M'aiq almost forgot to paint it. Do not fall off it, because M'aiq has not enabled clipping below Z = -1000.

Sometimes the ladies from Argonia stop by, to leave him pants to wear in the morning. But he cannot wear these pants; they would be unseemly, with no matching shirt to complete the look. M'aiq must stay swag.

Some people say M'aiq does not live in Sovngarde. Some people say M'aiq simply cut out a photograph of himself, taped it over top of a picture of this Hall of Valor. These people, they are fools and liars. You are not one of these people, yes?




So vote for M'aiq's house! Vote, and shower him with the prizes! He will give you sweetrooooollllllsssss if you dooooo. He promises!
Would M'aiq lie to you?